My Chat With Javy

It was time for an intervention. Yes, it’s still early in the season, but I didn’t like what I saw today from Vazquez in the Yankees’ loss to the Angels. (I didn’t like what I saw from Marte either, but that’s another story. At least we got a look at Mitre and have confirmation that he does, in fact, exist. As for the Yankees’ offense? It took the day off.)
Vazquez doesn’t seem to have any confidence in his stuff, so I figured I’d better get to him before the team left the west coast. Here’s our conversation. As you can see, he’s very troubled. But I believe we rooted out the problem.


  1. Jane Heller

    Glad it made you laugh, A.J. We Yankee fans need a laugh after that game. Pee-uuuu. I do hope Vazquez isn’t hurt and not telling anybody.


    I don’t have much to say today, except next we’re playing the Orioles…the new Nationals. So hopefully we can smack it to them. Very funny video Jane, I liked his box body, very clever lol 😀


    Gotta keep tellin’ myself: ‘It’s only April.’ Butt…
    Yeah, shame on me too for not performing my ritual 7-fold Circumambulation of The Tube God while chanting “Javy Krishna” — guess he’s gonna need extra help every start. Or maybe the Tomahawk Chop WILL work…or maybe there are some players that just can’t handle N.Y., no matter what they say…pleeez, let’s hope not. It’s only April, it’s only April…
    Otherwise, LOVE that Box-head look!! Could be all the rage in a few weeks if things don’t change…but let’s hope not…


    That video was great and had me laughing from the crazy outfit, to the “I like Bobby, he always smiles at me,” to the missing the chop. But seriously, if the guy wants a chop, he’ll have to go elsewhere – it is a very tacky thing.

    I didn’t think he looked too bad until the fourth inning. And Abreu has his number: he has three mulit-home run games against Javy.

    So I have a few things to make everyone feel better. Here’s an amazing play at the plate:

    And, especially to cheer Jane up, an article about Mariano.



    Well-timed, Jane. I’m sure that conversation will go a long way in improving Vasquez’ next start. And hopefully Dave will do his chanting next time as well. The team off the field (the she-fans and the he-fans) is obviously almost as important as the team on the field.

    I don’t know why but I’m not that exciting about the White House event today – I guess I just want the team to focus on the games ahead and not on the wonderful results of last season. Boston took 2 out of 3 from Baltimore but the Orioles won the final game so they are on a roll. I know that they are not the team that The Yankees, The Rays and The Sux are but as they always say, on any given day any one team can beat any other team. That’s Baseball! GO YANKEES!!!

  6. devilabrit

    too funny as usual, love the tomahawk chop song… and as Jenn says, he’s already for FedEx to take him back to Atlanta or you may decide to just leave him in Baltimore, but dont be too hard on him, Yankees had trouble with Abreu and the Angels early on in Anaheim last year too…

    Phillies Outside

  7. cheshirecat9

    Hahaha! Jane only you can make me laugh so hard after a terrible loss. Our first series loss of the year! I guess it was inevitable, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

    Since there isn’t much more to say about that game I just wanted to point out a nice piece on Mariano that was in the NY Times today:

    Not sure how to make that a hyperlink, but I guess you can cut and paste it.

  8. James Buxton

    I started to do the Chant, but this time it didn’t work. I really hope Javy has a better start the next time. He is part of the team, and as good fans we are, we have to support him (not the same as make axcuses for him).
    Great video Jane. I always love your informal chats with the players.

  9. Jane Heller

    Seindsfeld, I never take the O’s lightly – they can hit! And we’ve had some tough games against them. Tejada is back with them and always seems to kill us. So does Markakis. Glad you liked the vid.

    Jeff, you have no idea how hard it was to get her to do the tomahawk chop. LOL. It was a miracle of typing, but that’s the fun of those.

    Yes, it’s only April, Dave. And as someone rightly pointed out on Twitter yesterday, CC started his Yankees career with a 1-3 record too, so maybe there’s hope for Javy.

    No question the chop is tacky, Melissa. But if it makes Javy pitch better, I’ll whisper it to him before watching every start. The fourth inning was definitely his undoing, but he couldn’t find his fastball at all. I was amazed at the junk he was throwing. No velocity. No life. Somebody posted that link to the leaping play at the plate the other day (can’t remember who) and I thought it was amazing. And yes, I saw the Times article this morning. Made me smile big time. I do love MO!

    Funny that you’re not into the White House visit today, Diane. I am. It doesn’t bother me that they’ll be distracted from the game. They’ll get their workouts in, trust me. And I don’t mind that they’re still celebrating last year’s triumph. Maybe a handshake from the Prez and the impressive surroundings will spur them on to even greater heights.

    HAHAHA, Jenn. I hadn’t even thought of that when I put Javy in the boxes. Good one.

    Javy has had tons of trouble with Abreu in his career, Peter. That’s why I hid my eyes every time Bobby came up to bat. But even though the Yanks lost the series, I don’t find the Angels as intimidating as they were with Figgins, Vlad and Anderson in the lineup.

    Laughing is important after a loss, cheshirecat. Glad the vid did its job. The Times piece on Mo was wonderful, especially after the hatchet job they did on A-Rod the day before.

  10. Jane Heller

    Nope. The chant didn’t work, James. That’s why I felt the need for a “chat.” But as I said above, CC had a 1-3 start too, so the situation is far from dire. But Javy looks kind of lost out there.

    I think what you mean, Paul, is that Stephen Hawking sounds like Javy Vazquez.

  11. lennysyankees

    Great as usual, Jane. I always love the way the computer pronounces “She-Fan” too. Now if Javier starts to pitch well, we can all thank you!!

  12. Jane Heller

    Yeah, Lenny, the computer isn’t very excited when it says “She-Fan,” accent on the “Fan.” LOL. Let’s just hope Javy paid attention.

    I can’t claim originality with these xtranormal videos, Matt, but they sure are fun to do every now and then.

  13. bklyntrolleyblogger

    I hope somewhere on those boxes was a label marked: Fragile!
    But he’s always given up 9+ hits per innings. He’s always given up the HR too. His IP and Hits have always stayed on pace with eachother. It’s just every HR he gives up as a Yank has an exponential value attached to it and rips open the stiches of ’04. But having confidence is one thing. Being aggressive is another. Mis-using a fastball like his is a frame of mind (fear of failing?). Maybe trying to throw the perfect pitch is too overwhelming? I dunno. Mystifying huh? A less frenetic city/team maybe? Ponderous.

  14. Jane Heller

    Mike, I heard Curt Schilling on ESPN tonight saying that Ozzie Guillen was down on Vazquez for not being a big game pitcher. I honestly don’t know what to make of the situation other than it’s still early in the season and I hope that we’re not looking at a fragile psyche but rather a mechanical issue. Please!!!

  15. angelsgirl012

    this… is HILARIOUS!

    best movie yet Ms Heller! I applaud you! *standing O*

    so funnny.. the tomahawk was the best part! LOL

    i can’t get over it

    i didn’t do the Javy chant this time……. but i’ll be happy to join the next time he pitches!

  16. Jane Heller

    Why thank you, Mimi. Glad you had a laugh. Javy is pitching tomorrow (Sat), so feel free to chant!

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