Helpless Against Pineiro

Well, not every Yankee was handcuffed by the Angels’ starter today, but here are a few glaring examples of hitters who were.

Jeter, SS 4 1 2 0 0 0 0 .324
Johnson, N, DH 4 0 1 1 0 2 1 .207
Teixeira, 1B 4 0 0 1 0 1 2 .097
Rodriguez, A, 3B 3 0 0 0 1 3 1 .257
Cano, 2B 4 1 2 0 0 0 2 .382
Posada, C 4 0 1 0 0 1 4 .400
Granderson, CF 4 0 0 0 0 0 3 .313
Swisher, RF 4 0 1 1 0 1 1 .308
Gardner, LF 3 1 0 0 1 0 1 .217
Totals 34 3 7 3 2 8 15 .278

See those zeroes under H for Tex, A-Rod and Granderson? Ouch. The fact is, Joel Pineiro (I’d never really paid much attention to him before) was masterful in getting ground ball outs, and he made me long for the days when our own Chien-Ming Wang used to pitch the same way. Sigh. 
Vazquez? He wasn’t terrible and certainly didn’t deserve the boos he heard at the Stadium. So he gave up a few runs. Booing won’t instill confidence in him. Why not support your pitcher at least until he proves he can’t do the job. That’s not to say I haven’t cursed him in the privacy of my own home. I’m no saint.
Aceves looked a little rusty, but Joba and Marte took care of business. Actually, I thought the Yankees might mount a comeback after Shields came in for the Angels and we scored a couple of runs. But there was no comeback, no walkoff, no pie.
Getting back to yesterday’s home opener, I had to laugh when several people emailed to ask if I was at the game in the Bronx, sitting with her.
The confusion was triggered by this article in the Daily News, mentioning “my” name….

Martha Stewart tweets throughout Yankees home opener: ‘Derek looks really good’

Wednesday, April 14th 2010, 4:00 AM

Looks like Martha Stewart is a sports buff - who knew? The homemaking honcho tweeted all throughout New York Yankees home opener against the Los Angeles Angels Tuesday.

Perlman/The Star-Ledger; Corkery/News

Looks like Martha Stewart is a sports buff – who knew? The homemaking honcho tweeted all throughout New York Yankees home opener against the Los Angeles Angels Tuesday.

The domestic diva’s got game – and an eye for the Yankees‘ captain.

No stranger to pinstripes, Martha Stewart tweeted her way through Tuesday’s Bombers home opener, even offering play-by-play to rival Michael Kay.

Curtis Granderson, new this year, has a great opportunity right now – two on base with two outs,” Stewart wrote to her nearly 2 million followers onTwitter.

The homemaking honcho also showed off her photography skills, capturing Yankee pretty boys Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter.

“Derek looks really good,” she noted.

After Jeter slugged his first homer of the year in the third inning, Stewart wrote, “Derek just hit a homer; 2-0, hooray!”

The multimedia maven sat with her good friend banker Jane Heller in front-row luxury seats left of the home team dugout and close enough to the Bombers’ on-deck circle to converse with the players.

“A-Rod berated Jane for not bringing me more often to games,” she tweeted. “Obviously, he realizes I am good luck!”

She even gave a hand to Granderson during one of his pre-at-bat warmups.

“Curtis Granderson just asked me to fix the velcro on his batting gloves and then he hit a very, very long fly ball to the end of centerfield.”

Her eye was not just on the field, but also on celebrities sitting around her, including Mayor BloombergLorne MichaelsAlec BaldwinKeith Olbermann“and a bunch of moguls.”


You see, “the other Jane Heller,” as my husband and I refer to the friend of Martha, is the private banker to Steinbrenner and the Yankees. She’s the one with the front row seats at Yankee Stadium, not me. But we do know each other. She took me to the World Series in 2000 and, trust me, her seats are the best in the house. Here’s an item in the NY Times that’ll explain everything…


What’s in a Name? A Series Ticket

The woman in Row 1, Seat 9, at Yankee Stadium on Sunday night was named JANE HELLER. So was the woman in Row 1, Seat 8.

The Jane Heller in Seat 9 (and above, left) was the Jane Heller who wrote ”Name Dropping,” a novel about two women with the same name that was published this year by St. Martin’s Press. To minimize the confusion here, let the record show that the two women in the ”Name Dropping” book are both named Nancy Stern. Mercifully, for the sake of this item, not Jane Heller.

The Jane Heller in Seat 8 was a banker whose clients include the principal owner of the Yankees, GEORGE M. STEINBRENNER 3rd, and MARTHA STEWART. She is the one who invited Jane Heller (the author) to sit in the same section of Yankee Stadium as MAYOR RUDOLPH W. GIULIANI and his son, ANDREW; BUD SELIG, the commissioner of baseball; DENZEL WASHINGTON; SARAH JESSICA PARKER and her husband, MATTHEW BRODERICK; and THE REV. JESSE JACKSON.

The two Jane Hellers had had an e-mail exchange several months ago in which Ms. Heller (the banker) said that she had all the other Ms. Heller’s books — and also had the best seats at Yankee Stadium.

That was several months ago.

”When it got to be the post-season,” Ms. Heller (the author) said, ”I thought, this would be a good time to hit her up for a couple of tickets. She said, ‘Saturday is taken, but how about Sunday?’ ”

So they chatted with the likes of DEREK JETER and PAUL O’NEILL in the on-deck circle and traded stories about themselves, including the one about how Ms. Heller (the banker) came to be where she was.

”When my son was 2, he said to me, ‘Mommy, you should get the Yankees,’ ” she said. ”I started calling on the Yankees. One day, George had a problem at Chemical Bank. He said, ‘Get that girl who keeps coming up here.’ It’s been almost 26 years. I’ve been his private banker all that time and still am the private banker to the Yankees.”

Ms. Heller (the author) said that Ms. Heller (the banker) asked when her next book would be out. ”April,” the author said. ”I’m thinking about opening day.”

Life sure is funny. Martha Stewart was sitting in “my” seat yesterday.


  1. devilabrit

    Well I’ll try not to drop any names here, but the Phillies had as many hits in 2 innings, and more runs in those first 2 innings today than the Yankees did thru 9 innings… funny how some days are just like that…. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Phillies Outside

  2. Jane Heller

    Good for the Phillies, Peter. I’m thrilled for them. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I guess that means you were there yesterday, A.J.? I’ll have to stop by and get your impressions of the festivities/game. It must have been quite a day.

  3. James Buxton

    That is amazing. I’d love to have another “me” with the best seats in Yankee Stadium (lucky you Jane!!!). Funny enough, my ex-girlfriend and I both had a white cat named “mimoso” (no tickets to the postseason, but a lot of good moments with the cats). Speaking of good moments, I still have faith in Javi and Iโ€˜m sure heโ€™ll find his moment and rebound. The season is young. Iโ€™m starting a blog on my own Jane and Iโ€™d be honoured if you could drop by and take a look
    Good night to everybody, and letโ€™s dream for a win tomorrow.


    Mets could have had this guy Piniero…doesn’t Piniero go well with Pinstripes though? Maybe the Angels don’t miss Lackey so much afterall. ๐Ÿ˜› But it’s amazing Cano can hit .382 but still can’t get that runner in from 3rd. I admit Vasqueeze wasn’t terrible, but again he has to remember he’s in the AL East now, not the NL East. Booing on his second start though, that’s not cool. He could have been having post traumatic stress? At least they made it exciting at the end, kind of makes you miss the Melk man and his deliveries. Funny story about Martha, who would want to sit next to her though? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ


    Okay, its official…I’m having my name legally changed to Jane Heller. LOL. I don’t know how you do it, but your blog guarantees to make me smile even after a loss. Thank you.

    I agree Vasquez was not that bad…I think he’s heading in the right direction. But just like with A-Rod, the fans are not going to get off his back until he shows them something positive.

    We’re in 3rd place in our division but its because we have played one less game than The Jays and The Rays – I know its too early to be looking at the standing but its hard not to do so. The team has a good mind set and I’m looking forward to a good run for the rest of the month. GO YANKEES!!!

  6. ooaooa

    Never knew how “connected” you are “and that’s a good thing”! You got to bond again with this other Jane Heller and get into those seats again and tell us about the “spread” that is included with the seats.

  7. ladyjane303

    Do I see “Name Dropping – The Sequel” in your future? Looking forward to Huuuuughes’ first start tonight. If we keep taking 2 out of 3 in every series, it would be just fine.

  8. cheshirecat9

    Great post as always Jane! I agree that Javy shouldn’t have been booed, but I also admit to cursing him at work while I was “watching” the game on Game Day. Courtney has the emails to prove it. I think he will come around. I think all it will take is a few well pitched games and the fans will embrace him.

    I hope Hughes has a good game today. I would love to see him emerge as a great pitcher. I love homegrown Yankees. Speaking of which I think Cano is off to a good start this year.



    Better to have Martha in your seat, than you in Martha’s former seat (cell). For the record, I think Martha was railroaded on that deal. She paid a price for being a celebrity.

    Phil Hughes needs to be sharp today and the Yanks need to get Kazmir up to 60+ pitches by the third inning. Let’s get to their bullpen early.


    So…you’ve been HOLDING OUT on us, haven’t you, Ms. Heller? Rubbing elbows with the REAL Hoi Polloi…oy!!
    You do have a surprise up your sleeve almost every day. Let’s hope that Javy has a few pleasant ones for us in the very near future. Note how noted the boos & booze from da Bronx, and how it’s Part of The Package, Mister V — EVERYBODY’s been booed, from the Babe to Joe D to Mickey and on down — it’s Noo Yawk! Think that Philly has exclusive domain over the Boo Birds? Gotta thicken yer skin a few layers, Javy!
    And speaking of Philly — they do have a great team, and may well three-peat in the NL — but seriously, Phillie fans — when are you going to start playing MAJOR LEAGUE teams? The Nats & the Astros don’t count!!

  11. Jane Heller

    James, I think it’s counterproductive to boo Vazquez this early, but that’s just me. Will definitely check out your blog. Glad you started one!

    I have to tell you, seindsfeld, that when the Yanks were trying to come back from 5-1 yesterday and they scored a couple of runs, I did think of Melky and how he might have set the stage for PIE. But hopefully somebody else – or lots of somebody elses – will step up and give us some exciting walkoffs. I don’t think I could sit next to Martha. I’d be afraid I’d squirt mustard all over my shirt and she’d lecture me about how to get it off.

    Who knew a novel about two people with the same name would lead to World Series tickets for me, Diane? Such a crazy story, but I was very grateful for those seats and that experience. I haven’t even glanced at the standings. Not once. I figure it’s too early and we’ve been winning series, so it feels like everything’s going well. Sure, I’d feel better if Vazquez won a ball game and Tex started hitting. But it’ll all straighten out. Right?

    Actually, John, we didn’t partake of the spread that night. The Other Jane Heller took Michael and me to the Yankees’ dining room and we had steaks (and she had a martini) before the game. I’d love to re-bond with her, but I think she figured out I was never going to borrow money to buy a private plane or something. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Ladyjane, if Miramax, the company that bought the rights to Name Dropping, had made the movie, we’d be looking at a sequel by now. But, as with so many projects, it died in development hell. And yes, looking forward to Huuuughes tonight. I’d love to see him get a “W.”

    I’ve cursed Vazquez (and others) plenty, but I’m just not a boo-er of Yankees when I go to games, cheshirecat. I hate seeing them upset, because it’s not as if they played poorly on purpose! Yeah, Cano looks fantastic, hitting the ball hard and even talking a walk here and there. Very happy about that.

    You don’t have to whack her, Jeff, although you’re very chivalrous to suggest it. Just remind her that I’m the bigger fan!

    I bet you have the same name as someone famous, Peg. Do a google search. It’s amazing what – and who – turns up.

    Counterproductive, Jenn. That’s just the word I used above. It seems to me that booing doesn’t motivate the player but rather makes him feel even worse about himself, which can’t help his performance. Is he really going to try harder because people booed?

    I’m sure there’s more than one other Paul Lebowitz, Paul. Yes, I’m probably a better writer than the other Jane Heller, but she has the best seats in the house at Yankee Stadium and is friends with Jeter. I’d swap lives with her right now.

    So true, jojovanb. At least I wasn’t serving a sentence in the Bedford women’s correctional facility! (I wonder if she got to watch or listen to Yankee games in there?) It’ll be interesting to see if the Yanks can work Kazmir’s pitch count up as they usually do, or if he’s gotten better at throwing strikes. Should be a great game.

    I read that espn column, Dave (thanks for sending the link). And while I understand that everyone’s gotten booed, even the greats of the game, it makes me sad to hear people booing their own. When I was at the ALDS in ’07 and people were booing Wang mercilessly, I stood up and yelled at the fans behind me and told them to shut up!

  12. peggy3

    Hi Jane & fellow baseball fans…

    Whenever Yankee fans boo their own players I cringe. What is wrong with these people? This is your team and I feel you should support the players for better or for worse. Do people seriously think the players want to go out and have a bad day ??? (Well ..maybe Pavano could have cared less as long as he got his paycheck..haha). Does booing do any good? Isn’t it more productive to stand behind your players ..not make them feel worse than they already do? Sometimes Yankee fans truly amaze me and NOT IN A GOOD WAY !!! I have never booed a player in my life …not even an opposing player (I came close at the ASG at Yankee Stadium when Paps came in after after he claimed he should close the game instead of Mo..but…I even restrained myself then). I hoping Javy is going to be just fine once he gets that first win under his belt. The Yankees didn’t do a thing to help him out yesterday. It would have been nice if they got a few runs. It’s only a few games…it’s NOT 2004 …it’s 2010 and Javy deserves a little patience on the part of the fans. I’m in his corner and I’ll be cheering him on whenever he pitches. He’s a YANKEE !!!

    Jane ..I think I told you that I know the “other” Jane Heller too. I’ve spoken with her a few times because she is also my company’s private banker (I work there …I wish it was MY company…lol). Unfortunately I don’t know her that well to get top seating …sob sob. We deal mostly with her staff. That’s ok …I know THE Jane Heller (YOU) and that’s enough for me … :o).

    I’ll be at the game tonight’s hoping for a nice start
    by young Master Hughes.

    Go Yankees 2010 !!!

  13. Jane Heller

    Peggy, I don’t remember you telling me you knew the “other Jane Heller.” How funny. She must be the private banker to everyone on the planet! On the subject of booing, I understand that people get frustrated and need to vent and show their displeasure. But I agree that it does nothing to help the player. Have I booed players on other teams? You bet. I booed Gary Sheffield when he came back to the Stadium as a Tiger, after that whole incident where he called Torre a racist. I booed Kenny Lofton for agreeing with Shef on that. But no Yankees. Only in front of my TV where they can’t hear me. ๐Ÿ™‚ Have fun tonight and get us a win, OK?

    You look like John Franco, Mike? I’d play that to the hilt in NY. Free hero sandwiches! Free everything! HAHA. Yes, I guess Javy will have to grow a thicker skin. Either that or start pitching better.

  14. bklyntrolleyblogger

    well…If you’re going to have anyone whacked, just don’t do it near my house. I can do without the traffic jam. I once got a free hero sandwich because they thought I was John Franco! LoL!
    NYC boo’d Mantle, Jeter, Mo and Johan Santana on his first day here. I don’t agree with it. But Javy better develope thicker skin real quick and learn to tune out the bedeviling Bronx Cheer. softie!
    mike BTB


    I hate the booing – hate it, hate it, hate it! I think the people that do it are “Yankee-come-lately” fans who only are rooting for a team they think will win. They never were passionate about Horace Clark! They are not baseball fans. Baseball fans cheer their own team and cheer the other team if they something very well.

    I will admit to booing at a game once. It was at Camden Yard in 2000, Braves vs. Orioles. John Rocker came in in relief. I wasn’t booing Rocker’s baseball, it was after he’d said all those racist remarks.

    Javy needs our support now!


  16. Jane Heller

    Melissa, I can understand that booing is part if the game – Jeter always says he gets a charge out of being booed. I just can’t bring myself to do it to my own team – not at the ballpark where they could hear it. I can only imagine how I’d feel if a stadium full of people booed me. It’s hard enough to read a negative review of a book!

  17. raysrenegade

    I think they should have a Yankee’s Jane Heller Day with everyone in the NYC area getting FREE Club Level seating for the night with proper Identification….Maybe a pre-game cocktail hour at the Hard Rock might be in order too.
    Seriously, I know the Yankees were smitten with Joel Pinero before finally setting their sights a bit lower into the “Hotlanta” region and plucking Javier Vasquez from the Braves clutches.
    So far that trade looks like a mutual bust with both players going into a series of respective tailspin to begin the season.
    Guess it is a tale of “What might have been…” if the Yankees had been more complied to follow their hunch anf offer the world to Pinero.
    But it is also only two starts, and people have been known to rebound or even adjust and come out again like gangbusters.
    And Lady Jane….You have the advantage…Your counterpart never got to meet me!
    Sun will shine again and the flowers will bloom, even on the sidewalks of the Bronx.

    Rays Renegade


    Peggy, I hope you check in again today because I totally agree with you. I have never understood the concept of boo’ing your own team; especially a team we love as much as our Yankees. To me its about support and cheering them on to the finish line. I hated what the fans did to A-Rod regardless of whether or not he deserved it. I’d like to know how many of us could function at our chosen professions if we were being watched by 50,000 people, all sharing their opinions of our performance. Also, Peggy, regarding the Tommy James event at the book store – it doesn’t look like he is planning to perform. I don’t know if that changes your desire to attend or not. Even if there is no plan for him to sing, he might burst into song anyway.

    Excited about Hughes-ee (as Girardi calls him) starting tonight, Jane. Want to see if his new pitch is what he needs to put him in as a solid starter…maybe #4…GO YANKEES!!!


    I should explain myself better. The booing I hate is when people boo for their own team. (Actually, I don’t think anyone should boo players, but I have very high standards of behavior!)

    There are players I can understand people booing: Manny, Shef, and others with bad attitudes, Arod (due to the steroid thing, not when he’s not hitting!), Clemens for his showboating. I could see Yankee fans booing Jimmy Rollins for his WS prediction.

    There are players in the game, that to me, are sort of above booing. I don’t understand why opposing fans boo Jeter. Here is a guy who has played with class, grace, and dignity and is nice to reporters AND his parents! He’s such a role model!!

    Bernie Williams was a non booable player. Tony Gwinn, Cal Ripken Jr, Joe Mauer, Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine.

    And has anyone ever booed Mariano? I can’t imagine it.

    Any other players anyone can think of who are above boos?


  20. Jane Heller

    You make an excellent point, Renegade. The other Jane Heller never had the privilege of meeting you and I did! So there! If Pineiro continues to pitch all year like he did yesterday, I’ll wish the Yankees had gone after him and not Vazquez. But it’s too early to know. Lots of baseball left to play.

    Diane, I agree with you on the booing – it turned out to be a juicy topic here today. And so far in tonight’s game, Hughes has been fantastic. (No jinx.)

    People boo Jeter in opposing parks because he’s the face of the Yankees, Melissa, not because he isn’t a great, classy player. He just smiles. Doesn’t bother him. But yeah, there are guys who should be totally unbooable, including the ones you named.


    I have to admit, I boo the other team, especially the red sox. It’s part of the fun, especially when they announce their names. I don’t really boo bad team, like if the Yankees are playing the Orioles and I’m there it’s like, what’s the point? But I don’t think I ever booed the Yankees or any other team I like. I usually just hang my head in shame or scream obscenities in the privacy of my home. The most disgusting ever was, and sorry if someone mentioned this, when Yankee fans booed A-rod in the first game for dropping a foul ball. This was when he was going through a lot of issues. It was pretty nasty, and couldn’t have helped. And Melissa, there was one time I heard people booing Mariano, I forget when, but he was struggling and I remember Michael Kay was pretty dumbfounded.

  22. Jane Heller

    That’s more like what I do, seindsfeld – scream obscenities in the privacy of my home. LOL. I have a vague memory of the Mo episode you’re talking about. It boggles the mind, doesn’t it?


    Do you bang and throw things too Jane? XD I remember the 5th game of the ALCS last year, I think I almost destroyed my house when the Angels came back. It’s all a blur…except that we won eventually ๐Ÿ˜€

  24. raysfanboy

    I haven’t left many comments this week, so I was not able to congratulate you guys on humiliating my team last weekend. Of course, I hold out hope that we can return the favor later in the season. We’re heading to Boston this weekend. I have a feeling that the Sox, Rays, and Yanks will all be beating each other up all season long.

  25. Jane Heller

    I’ve stopped throwing things, seindsfeld. As I wrote in my book, I once threw a piece of cheese at my husband when the Yankees were losing and that was my rock bottom. So now I try to behave.

    The Yankees didn’t exactly humiliate the Rays, raysfanboy. Your guys are always tough. We just prevailed two out of three times. I agree that the three teams will be at each other’s throats all year long.


    Oh yeah! And it landed in your husband’s beard? lol XD I’d still like to see you screaming obscenities, maybe you can put it on youtube ๐Ÿ˜› Hopefully not though as it would mean the Yankees aren’t playing well ๐Ÿ˜

  27. Jane Heller

    Me screaming obscenities is not a pretty sight, seindsfeld, although there are times when my husband cracks up. But you’re right: if I’m screaming, it means the Yanks aren’t doing well and we don’t want that!

  28. angelsgirl012

    hahahahahha oh my… that must feel terrible! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Two Jane Hellers! One is Martha Stewart’s bestie and the other is an incredible blogger/author!

    Sorry Ms Stewart Jeter’s taken haha.

    I’m glad that Pinero did well for us. It was his first start of the season and my first time watching him! :D. I’m looking forward to another series with the Yankees!

  29. Jane Heller

    Pineiro was fantastic, Mimi. Really impressive. I’m sure you’re glad the team signed him. And yes, there are two Jane Hellers. Actually, I’m sure there are dozens of us!

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