A Week From Tonight

Next Sunday, at this very moment, barring snow or rain or the earth’s takeover by aliens, the Yankees will be in the midst of Opening Night at Fenway. Maybe the score is 0-0 in the 5th. Or maybe, since we’re talking about Yankees-Red Sox, we’re only in the 3rd. Either way, I’ll be watching, clammy hands and all.
What’s to be nervous about? It’s only the first game of a long season, and it’s not as if the Yankees aren’t ready for prime time. They haven’t had the best spring training in terms of actual wins and losses, but everybody’s managed to stay healthy (shhhhhh – no jinx). Granderson finally seems comfortable at the plate, against both lefties and righties. Tex and Cano, two traditionally slow starters, have shown signs of life. A-Rod has gotten hot, despite the distractions. And the pitching is coming around, especially now that the rotation is set. And yet, I’ll be watching with my hands over my eyes.
OK, I’m being ridiculous. We’re not talking about Game 7 of a World Series here. I need to get a grip, stop acting like such a wuss and approach next Sunday night with a new sense of fun. And here’s how I’m going to do it: I’ll imagine the worst things that could happen. That’s right. Once I get those out of the way, the game will be a piece of cake. Worth a try, right? 
The Worst Things That Could Happen Next Sunday Night
1) Jeter dislocates his shoulder.
No problem. He already dislocated it in 2003 and the Yankees made it to the World Series anyway.
2) CC gets shelled.
(Thanks to Bronx Goblin for the pic.) Again, no problem. He got shelled last year, giving up nine runs in 2 2/3 to the Rays and failing to win his 20th game. The Yankees won the World Series anyway.
3) Jacoby Ellsbury steals home.
Sure, it was a little demoralizing when he did it last April, but, again, the Yankees ended up with the trophy.
4) Josh Beckett shuts the Yankees offense down.
He’s done it before – last August, for instance. But thanks to Tazawa and A-Rod’s two-run blast, the Yankees prevailed in 15 innings.
5) A-Rod has to meet with the feds next Sunday – for Easter dinner with their families.
I wouldn’t be happy about this, granted, but the Yankees made do without A-Rod for over a month last year, and it all turned out just fine.
So, I’m feeling much better about things after writing this post. What great therapy blogs are.


  1. mattpeas

    theres been many monumental moments between the yanks and sox on opening night.

    i’ll never forget jeters injury in Toronto. i was watching with my yankee fan buddy andrew who literally cried when he thought Jeet would be out for the season

  2. thefreak

    Can somebody explain to me WHY the world series champions are starting the season ON THE ROAD? Thats just not right.

    As for the game, don’t forget the bombers lost the first 8 against the sox last year. And where did it get them? OH YEAH! World series #27.

    Listen Jane, the only advice I can give you about the game on Sunday is STAY AWAY FROM THE CHOCOLATE! That might not be pretty for Michael listening to you scream at the TV cause you’re all hopped on up choco easter eggs or those damn yellow marshmellow chicks.


  3. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Jane, I just LOVE how you bring up all those nitemare scenarios, while reminding us “oh yeah…been there, done that already.” And in Beckett’s case, re-double it…images of 2003 in a black jersey still haunt my mind. But no matter. I am LOVING how they’ve been running the TV ad with the two Doofus Hosehead Fans and Swish, always being grateful to you for the sneak preview…it could be the only time in the MEDIA that I (we?) have ever seen that somebody DOESN’T hate the Yankees/love the Sawx!!
    Having said all that, due to this slam-bang opener, it’s a little frustrating that I can’t downshift my emotions from the intensity of college hoops to the more relaxed joy of a long, long season of beisbol just beginning…but maybe it’s apropos…my school/team, maybe the most hated in the land, is back in the Final Four — often they’re called (inaccurately) “The Yankees of College Basketball.” But oh, how I love that description!!

  4. Jane Heller

    Matt, I nearly died when Jeter went down in that opener against the Jays. I thought, Why did this have to happen in the first game of the season? I figured he was done and we were done. But it ended up OK. Talk about a scare.

    I don’t need chocolate to get me “hopped up” because I’m always bouncing off the ceiling, Mike. The truth is, we lose to the Sox early – they killed us in those first games last year – but we’re a great second half team. Why, I don’t know. Just a fact of nature. Still, I wouldn’t mind winning the first game for a change.

    Well, I left out some nightmare scenarios, Dave, but I didn’t want to give anyone….nightmares. LOL. Very excited that your team is in the Final Four. Wow. I don’t know much about college basketball, but I know enough that it’s a really big deal to get this far. Good luck!

    Relax? Me? Austin, surely you jest! But I will try, I promise.

  5. James Buxton

    Those are terrible things that could happen in any game Jane (and I could think in some much more worst..), but then again, it’s happened before. I’m worried (and exited) every night our guys take the field and play the Sox (I’m much more happy when they win) It would be nice to take one early in the season.
    It’s terrible they have to start the season on the road (I’m with you Mike), they are the Champions, but that’s the way it is.
    Let’s hope this year they start winning the Sox and keep it that way. Anyone knows something about the outfield?

  6. mel.tmottbg@gmail.com

    We were watching Manchester United game last night (the “Yankees” of the English Premier League). A fan had a sign that said “Not Arrogant, Just Better.”

    I think the Yankee fans signs could be “Not Arrogant, Justifiably Proud.”


  7. Jane Heller

    Are you asking about whether Granderson will play center and Gardner play left, James? As of yesterday, Girardi said he still wasn’t sure. Both players have said they’ll go wherever they’re asked, so I don’t know how the situation will end up. Of more concern to me is Gardner’s offense. I love his speed, but he needs to get on base.

    I love that slogan, Melissa! You should bring a sign like that to the next Yankee game you go to.

  8. peggy3

    Hi Jane & fellow bloggers ….

    Less than a week ….less than a week …oh boy, oh boy…
    it’s less than a week ….YANKEE BASEBALL (for real) !!!!!

    Loved the CC got shelled pic …you always crack me up
    Jane. I’m just keeping the faith and hoping all goes as well as last year without any serious injuries. I loved last year’s team…personality and talent. Even tho’ we lost some good ones (Johnny D & Matsui) I like the new additions. Jeter and Granderson playing together…a double header of class & integrity. If Big Nick can make it through most of the year he might just surprise with one heck of a season. Heck…how much running does he need to do with the big boppers behind him … :o). I am loving the pitching staff especially with the addition of Javy. Here’s hoping Phil and Joba both do their jobs this year because their success only helps lead to Yankee success. Mo’s not looking too shabby either. I can’t wait for Sunday night …I love My Yanks !!!

    Jane I know you are Beatle Fan …yesterday I had a great time at the BeatleFeast in Secacus, NJ. A very long day but if you love the Beatles it’s well worth it. Special guests were Billy J. Kramer, Spencer Davis (who tore up the place with Gimme’ Some Lovin’) and two former members of Wings. Denny Laine (not to be confused with Penny Lane…haha) …a guitarist in Wings …sounded just like Paul on all the songs. Lots of great stories about the Beatles and tons of great music. The Beatles wrote songs for so many other performers …their talent was limitless. It ended up with a Battle of the Beatle Bands …so many different ages and really terrific bands. The Band that won had an average age of 13-14 beating out much older bands and they were truly amazing. A great day had by all. I really loved the Beatles … Yeah, Yeah, Yeah..

    Since I don’t post often…my posts tend to be lengthy. Sorry about that …

    Happy Passover & Easter to everyone …all I want in my Easter Basket is a Yankee win !!!

    Go Yankees 2010 !!!

  9. jojovanb27@hotmail.com

    Mixed feelings today: First the NCAA


    You guys have Coach K forever, or at least as long as you want him. As a mid-major, we at Siena lose our best coaches to the next level, Paul Hewitt ten years ago to Ga. Tech and now Fran McCaffrey to Iowa for three times the money. He did a great job for us and we wish him well.

    I have Dave’s team winning it all on my one surviving bracket, but the best I can hope for is second place money because the guy ahead of me has them winning too.

    Better news: Amazon tells me they shipped three Jane Heller titles my way this morning

    AND opening day in six days.

  10. Jane Heller

    Peggy, you’re the first one to comment on the CC-turtle pic. I thought it was hilarious! Your optimism shines through every word, so thanks for making us all feel positive about the 2010 Yankees. Yeah, I loved the Beatles when I was a kid and had a poster of Paul McCartney on my bedroom wall, right next to the one of Mickey Mantle. LOL. I actually liked their early music the best, but they were amazing performers and songwriters, as you point out. The Beatlefest sounds like it was a great time.

    You bought three of my novels, jojovanb? Which ones? Keep in mind they’re “chick lit,” so I’m not sure how much you’ll relate to my heroines, but I hope the books bring a smile or two. As for NCAA, I hope you win that second place money!!!

  11. jojovanb27@hotmail.com

    Hi Jane,

    Yeah, I knew about the Chick-lit label. Two novels plus Confessions of a She-Fan for all the ladies in or near my life. Some Nerve for the daughter getting married next week, Confessions of a She-Fan for her older sister, who gets to see the Yankees when they’re in Baltimore or DC, and Lucky Stars for my ex.

  12. peggy3

    Jane ….

    I had Paul & Mickey on my wall too…what can I say ….we both have great taste…LOL.

    My favorite Beatle album is Sargent Pepper’s. My fav song from that album is A Day in the Life but I do have a special spot for the Meet the Beatles and A Hard Day’s Night albums too because they were the beginnings. I loved the movie Hard Day’s Night …it showed so much humor by the guys. Paul’s Grandfather was a hoot in the movie too. It was such fun ….such innocence compared to today …

    “And, in the end, the love you take/ Is equal to the love you make.” Such a beautiful line by Paul McCartney in the song “The End”. How fortunate I was to live in the time of such a collaboration of musical genius as were the Beatles.

    Go Yankees 2010 !!!

  13. Jane Heller

    Lucky Stars for your ex, jojovanb? Interesting. You could have gone with An Ex to Grind for her, the one about divorced spouses, but sticking to the mother-daughter relationship in Lucky Stars was probably the wise choice. 🙂

    Yup, we both have great taste, Peggy. I remember begging my mother to take me to see A Hard Day’s Night – and I ended up seeing it ELEVEN times!

  14. Jane Heller

    Jojovanb, thanks SO much for the heads up about my web site. I just spoke to my webmaster and she made the quick fix so the web site is now its old self. Sorry about that. You’re right about An Ex to Grind. I’d hold off on that one. 🙂 I think the novel you’re referring to about the divorced couple that reunites is Crystal Clear. They meet again in Sedona, Arizona – a beautiful place, if you’ve never been there. And the story has a very happy ending. All my books do!

  15. jojovanb27@hotmail.com


    An Ex to Grind? Something about that title made me NOT want to make it my ex’s first exposure to your work. Also didn’t think it would look good for my youngest to be reading on her honeymoon. 🙂

    Your Web site has a Confessions of a She-Fan test message up, and I couldn’t get the information I was after. I wanted to go back and find the title of your novel about the divorced couple meeting in Vegas after 10 years. If my ex likes your work, I figured I’d slip that one in on maybe the third or fourth try. (Although I guess I’d better check to see how it ends before I pass it on.)

  16. devilabrit

    I’m not sure if those things are the worst, you’ve seen them all before, what if they hit a years worth of runs in the first game…LOL wouldn’t you worry they may have used them all up….:-) well thats about as probable as aliens invading…I think….

    Outside the Phillies Looking In

  17. Jane Heller

    It’s a funny thing, Peter. I never worry about them “using up a lot of runs.” I love seeing a lot of offense and I figure that when hitters are hot, they stay hot. So a blowout on Opening Night wouldn’t bother me one bit.

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