He Said/He Said…..One of You Is Misremembering

As has been widely reported, the Yankees didn’t offer anybody arbitration – not a single free agent. Who’s hurt and confused? This man.


He can’t figure out what he did to deserve such treatment. It was one thing for the Yanks to pass on Mussina (retiring), Giambi (deteriorating), Pudge (shrinking), Pettitte (demanding), and Pavano (hahahahaha). But Bobby?
“WHY ME?” he said when he heard the news, his wail oddly similar to that of Nancy Kerrigan’s.
Brian Cashman had this response: “We wanted to make sure we controlled the amount we’d be spending.”
What????? Did Cashman accidentally think he was the G.M. of the Pirates?
“The Yankees are engaged with Abreu,” he added, indicating that there is still a desire to bring the right fielder back for another year.
Really? That’s not what Abreu’s agent said. “We haven’t heard from them once since the end of last season. And to be honest, Bobby isn’t happy about it.”
Uh-oh. I sense a “He said/He said” here. Clearly, somebody is misremembering. Is it Bobby? Or Cashman?
All of this reminded me of the other “He said/He said” confrontations we’ve witnessed over the years. Baseball alone has had its share of them.
For example, there was this man insisting that he shot lots and lots of naughty substances
into the body of this man, who pledged that he was the one telling the truth, even though he didn’t exactly come out and dispute anything.
More recently, we had this man maintaining that he injected those same naughty substances into the gluteus maximus


of this man, who vehemently denied the allegations, except the one about his wife’s gluteus maximus.
And who could forget the testimony of this man, limo driver Alan Park.
He stated that his client told him he didn’t answer the buzzer at the house on Rockingham because he had overslept. But then the client himself
asserted that he hadn’t been napping, not even for a second. Which one were we supposed to believe?
And in still another “He said/He said” involving a celebrity and a limo driver, we had this man
telling prosecutors he heard his client mumble: “I think I killed someone.” The big-haired client, on the other hand,
accused the limo driver of lying misremembering.
Finally, in perhaps the most famous case of all, we have this man announcing: “There’s a cancer growing upon the presidency.”
To which this man replied: “I am not a crook!”
Which is my roundabout way of saying I went to a screening of the movie “Frost/Nixon,” which opens in limited release on Friday. It’s amazing. Frank Langella plays Nixon to perfection, and the story is told with wit and suspense. Go see it, even if you’re too young to remember Watergate.
Here’s the trailer.


  1. PAUL

    Is it my warped mind going off the reservation again, or are the double entendres with the “shooting naughty substances” lines there in that way intentionally?
    Brian Cashman looks like a rodent and if Abreu’s reps are telling the truth, he’s acting like one as well.
    I honestly thought you’d done a little creative photoshop work with the pic of Phil Spector by inserting the hair of Leslie Abramson. I think my hair would head that way if I abandoned haircuts for two years. Bad idea?

  2. juliasrants

    And here I thought having a new “owner” of the Yankees would make a difference. Silly me! And you’re right about the Frost/Nixon movie. It looks to be a really good depiction of a most interesting time in US history.


  3. Jane Heller

    Double entendres, Paul? Moi? Mais non! As for Phil’s hair, I can only say it belongs in the Hair Hall of Fame.

    “Frost/Nixon” is so worth seeing, Julia – not just as entertainment, which it is, but as an even-handed look at history.

  4. redstatebluestate

    Like the Prince, I thought you may have used photoshop to make Canseco’s eyes look more devilish than they really are. Wow. Do PEDs make you stop sleeping? Also, Jane, let us not forget the he said/she said of now Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and attorney Anita Hill. The “Jury” is still out on that one… right? I’m also wondering, Jane… do you have a KC Royals complex? You seem awfully worried about becoming them, or aligning yourself with them… all for good reason of course. I can’t blame you.

  5. Jane Heller

    A KC Royals complex. Hm. Maybe you’re right, Jeff. I did write two posts in a row mentioning them. So I’ve gone back and changed the Cashman reference thanks to the magic of movable type. As for Thomas vs. Hill, I was concentrating on He said/He said cases. There are way too many He said/She said examples for a little old blog post.

  6. hseely@twcny.rr.com


    I wouldn’t mind being engaged with Bobby Abreu.

    But I would mind being engaged to him.

    I know you love his smile. Listen to me: Forget him. You’re better than that. With him, it’s all a game. He’ll flirt, he’ll get you a base hit to tie the game, but then he plays the ball off the wall in right and lets three runs score. He’s a male *****, a gigilo. If we were to bring him back, he would not respect us. Get a grip, She-Fan. This is a cold, harsh time of year. Don’t get drunk and be calling him at 2 a.m. to try and sign him to a three-year.

    el duque

  7. bostonredsoxgirl46

    Interesting story with Abreu, he’s one of the strongest outfielders I thought… guess the Yankees didn’t want to offer him a three year deal… Wonder where he’ll go… and Andy Petite too for that matter. I thought the Frost/Nixon movie looked interesting, I’ll definitely check it out.

  8. Jane Heller

    You’re right, duque. I should get a grip and stop stalking Bobby. I’ll turn right around and stalk Xavier Nady instead. Maybe he’s not afraid of the wall.

    Hey, Elizabeth. I’m not so sure the Yankees won’t sign Pettitte. Abreu looks less likely. I’ve given up trying to predict what they’ll do!

  9. jimmy27nyy

    Hi, Jane …

    Well, the Yankees made an “across the board” sweep of not offering arbitration to any of their [eight] players eligible for arbitration !!! … I think, a big part of the reason the Yankees didn’t offer abitration to Abreu and Pettitte is that the Yanks must have felt “both” would have accepted, and, then, be awarded an amount of money the Yankees [seem] unwilling to want to pay … But, it really should not have come to this point !!! … As you know, Jane, I think the Yankees should have already re-signed “both” Abreu and Pettitte … I just do not understand the Yankees [Brian Cashman’s?] approach in this whole matter !!! … Imagine, if the Yankees let Bobby and Andy “walk away”, and, then, offer a deal, or, an invite to spring training, to Carl Pavano ??? … Now, that would be a disgrace !!! … Great post as usual, Jane !!! … Jimmy [27NYY]

  10. jimmy27nyy

    Jane, just a note …

    My second comment was submitted at 5:49 AM, but registered at 6:49 AM … So, it will be interesting to see what time will be listed on this comment !!! … Jimmy [27NYY]

  11. Jane Heller

    Jimmy, I think the comments problem seems to be solved. But let’s see where my response to you ends up after I submit it. Anyhow, I’m still holding out hope that Pettitte and/or Bobby will be re-signed, just at a lower cost. Either that or we’ll have to hope the Yankees fill the rotation with quality starters and that Nady is a star in right field.

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