Well, it could happen. Cashman is full of surprises and often speaks in code, as in the following.
“Bubba Crosby is our center fielder” = “Johnny Damon is our centerfielder”
“Enrique Wilson is our third baseman” = “Alex Rodriguez is our third baseman”
“Nick Swisher is our first baseman” = “Mark Teixeira is our first baseman”
Yankee fans are used to this stuff. We’re told a deal can’t be done, won’t be done, would be unthinkable to be done – and suddenly it’s done. No wonder we’re always acting a little off balance.
Given past history, why couldn’t the next statement be code too?
“Sergio Mitre is our starter on Tuesday” = “Roy Halladay is our starter on Tuesday”
I mean, who is Sergio Mitre? I’ll tell you who. He’s the guy who pitched for the Marlins after getting traded by the Cubs for Juan Pierre and others.
Kind of a tough-looking hombre, si?
When it became clear that Sergio needed Tommy John surgery in ’08, the Marlins released him. The Yankees, always on the lookout for a pitcher whose arm is barely attached to the rest of his body, signed him to a one-year minor-league contract in ’09, after which he promptly tested positive for andro (aka the Mark McGwire Substance).
He received a 50-game suspension, but, like J.C. Romero, said he bought a product legally at a GNC, and that the andro wasn’t listed as an ingredient on the packaging. You be the judge.
All I know is that he cleaned up nicely as a Yankee and pitched really well in Scranton.
But would I prefer Halladay on Tuesday? Um, yeah. I have no idea which players the Yanks would give the Jays in a trade. But there’s one thing we have in our favor that no other team in the mix can match:
A.J., Halladay’s best friend in all the world.
Just look at Doc’s smile when they’re together. Cue the Celine Dion, right?
Talk about chemistry.
Their relationship is a beautiful thing, and if I’m Cashman I use it to my advantage.
Do I worry that Roy can’t handle New York? Hardly. He made a TV commercial in Toronto. ‘Nuff said. It’s true that his personality doesn’t exactly light up the screen, but at least he didn’t punch the camera like a certain big name pitcher we once acquired.
See you in pinstripes on Tuesday, Roy. In the meantime, I’ll ask my mother if she knows of any nice houses for sale in Westchester.
So weird. The Yankees couldn’t do a thing against Nieve, who probably doesn’t even bother to dream about the Cy Young Award, and yet they absolutely destroyed Santana, whose Cy Young dreams have long become a reality.
Johan didn’t make it out of the fourth during the Yanks’ 15-0 thrashing of the Mets, and gave up a career high nine earned runs.
The Mets’ relievers didn’t have much either, as Jeter, Damon, Matsui, Melky and Cervelli (love this guy) just kept piling on.
But the star of the day was AJ.
Except for a lapse in the third (two walks, bases loaded with nobody out – yikes), he threw seven sparkling innings of shutout ball and looked more like the guy who tortured us as a Blue Jay.
Aside from his throwing error, the Yanks were crisp on defense too. I loved watching Sheffield try to take Jeter out on that double play. (Nice try, Gary, except that you’re old in baseball years.)
In the seventh, Pena was in as Jeter’s replacement at short and flashed leather.
Robertson and Hughes did a great job in relief and spared me from having to watch Veras, Coke or Aceves create a hair-raising experience.
And then there was the Bruney/K-Rod pre-game fracas. Bruney was stupid to open his mouth in the first place about K-Rod’s celebrations on the mound. K-Rod was stupid to confront Bruney during batting practice today and allow the exchange to be caught on camera. Just shut up and pitch, people!
I’m in New York, so I got to watch the game with my family – all Yankee fans. It was a nice capper to the weekend in Westchester before I head into the city for the rest of my trip.
My 92-year-old mother thinks I act like a crazy person when I watch baseball, but she let me turn the She-Fan Cam on her during our visit. Here she is. Does she look 92? I don’t think so, either.
Just a reminder about my signing on Wednesday at Stan’s Bar!
Since tonight’s Yankees-Rays game was rained out, I decided to muse about my trip to New York (I leave Thursday). I’m getting jazzed about all the cool things I’ll be doing in the Apple.
Well, there’s one thing I’m not looking forward to.
As anyone who’s read my book may remember, I’m not wild about flying. If there’s turbulence I tend to guzzle too much plane wine and end up like this.
With any luck, my cross-country flight will be smooth and uneventful, and I’ll arrive at JFK on Thursday night with all my faculties.
On Friday, I’ll be doing my weekly segment on “The Natural,” the New Jersey-based radio show where I joust with host Greg Marotta about the Yankees. (He thinks Joba should be in the pen. I don’t. Not anymore.)
But the rest of the weekend will be family time. I haven’t seen my mother in a while, so it’ll be great to visit with her in Westchester.
(No, that isn’t my mother. I just felt the need to put a nice lady up there. Hopefully, my actual mother will be wearing the Jeter jersey I bought her. She has lots of opinions about the Yanks and should be good She-Fan Cam material.)
After resting up at Mom’s, it’ll be on to the city for some serious media scrutiny about my book.
Are you ready for this? Barbara Kopple, who won two Oscars for her documentaries, is interviewing me for the doc she’s shooting about the Yankees. It’s scheduled to air in the fall on ESPN. For all I know, I’ll end up on the proverbial cutting room floor, but it was exciting to be contacted and I’m looking forward to meeting Barbara.
No clue what she’ll want to talk about for two hours, but I guess I’ll find out. I did love her two Oscar winners:
“Harlan County, U.S.A.” about the coal miner’s strike in Kentucky…
and “Shut Up & Sing” about the Dixie Chicks’ crusade for freedom of speech.
A little later that afternoon, I’ll head to the YES Network’s production studio to tape a segment for “Yankees Magazine,” the weekly show hosted by Bob Lorenz.
I’ll be sure not to mention that I regularly rip Michael Kay on this blog (gently).
Wednesday will be the best day of all: my first trip to the new stadium for the Yankees-Nationals game. I can’t wait to see the Yanks in action. I’m also dying to sample all the food everyone’s been talking about. Watching this MLB video about the Food Network concession made me really hungry, although I could do without the fried pickle.
I’ll be sitting with my husband and my friend Patty from the New York Times. We’ll be up in the nosebleeds (section 323) but behind home plate. If anybody’s going to the game on the 17th, please stop by and say hi.
Also….this is still to be confirmed, fingers crossed….I’ll be having a signing for my book before the game, from 4:30-6, right outside the one-and-only Stan’s Sports Bar across the street from the Stadium!
Stan’s is an institution in Yankeeville. Its owner, Louis Dene, who happens to live part time in Santa Barbara, has managed to keep the place hopping for years. If you’ve been there, you know that it’s wall-to-wall Yankee fans.
I’m hoping we’ll be able to sell books right in the middle of all the craziness, with the help of Denise, the community relations manager at the Bay Plaza Barnes & Noble in the Bronx.
The main thing for that night is…IT CANNOT RAIN!
I think I’ll start my anti-rain dance right now.
Whew. I’m a little dizzy and those feathers made me sneeze, but it was worth it if it keeps the rain away.
Brett Gardner doesn’t have time to celebrate his new job as the Yankees starting center fielder.
He needs a place to live. Now. The team is about to break camp and head north, and Gardner told the beat writers: “I haven’t started looking for housing in New York yet, but I have no intention of living in the same New Jersey extended stay hotel I used last year.”
Well, all right then, Gardy. So where are you planning to put yourself? You’re a hayseed from Holly Hill, South Carolina, and you don’t know squat about New York. Do you honestly think you can just close your eyes, point to a spot on a map of the Tri-State area and go, “I’ll move there?”
Of course not. You’re not making Jeter/A-Rod money, and you don’t have a 10-year contract. Your options aren’t limitless. You need guidance. Fortunately, She-Fan is at your service.
You can be very conservative and simply rent a room in the house of a family whose little boy has grown up and gone away to college.
Or maybe you’d prefer a more fraternity-like atmosphere.
If so, we could probably move you into the same New Jersey condominium as them.
Oh. You’re married with a young son and you’re moving them to New York. Right. What about a two-bedroom/two bath apartment in a Manhattan high-rise for the three of you?
There are so many neighborhoods we could consider, since Manhattan is such a mixed bag.
We could find you something on the Upper East Side surrounded by types like them.
Or you might enjoy the Meat Packing District where you’d very likely run into them.
And there’s always the Chelsea neighborhood where you’d probably run into them.
O.K. You don’t want to be in the city. You’d rather find something that reminds you of home. How about a sweet little farmhouse in a bucolic area of Connecticut?
Your son is allergic to cows?
Fine. Let’s do a waterfront condo in Westchester.
Your wife is afraid of the water?
Sorry, I don’t understand. You want to live where? What’s a yurt?
Tell you what, Gardy. Find your own tent. No, I’m not mad at all. It’s your life. Just promise you’ll show up here next week and we’re good.