Tagged: turkey

Thanksgiving at CC’s Place

The Major League owners met today and officially designated Hal Steinbrenner as the “control person” of the Yankees, officially ending George’s reign of terror tenure as boss. 
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My Hal. He’s something, isn’t he? In his first pronouncement as Control Person, he took a very Georgian stance on the Sabathia situation: “We’ve made him an offer. It’s not going to be there forever.”
In other words, “Hurry up or we’re taking our $140 million off the table.” I like it. Direct. No-nonsense. Even slightly intimidating, judging by Sabathia’s expression here.
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However, CC quickly reminded himself that he still has that backup offer from the Brewers, which gave him the confidence to counter Hal with: “I’m not making any decisions until after Thanksgiving. I’m eating my turkey in peace.”
She-Fan has just learned that when Sabathia said, “my turkey,” he meant it literally. I know it sounds implausible, but while his family shares the turkey his wife Amber labors over every year, the big guy gets a large bird of his own.
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And he finishes it in one sitting. No leftovers! Not even a drumstick! And he polishes off an entire vat of gravy!
I got acid reflux just thinking about this, so I called Amber Sabathia to verify the story. She was extremely friendly and confided, woman to woman, that she often worries about her husband’s cholesterol levels.
“I bet,” I said. “But how do you cook two turkeys at the same time? I’m sure you must have a huge kitchen and lots of household help. Even so, I have trouble making one turkey come out all moist and golden brown.”
That’s when poor Amber broke down in tears. “Thanksgiving is an annual nightmare, if you really want the truth.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I had no idea. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” She sighed. “I’ll just email you the video of CC’s turkey from last year. You’ll understand.”
A few minutes later, this landed in my inbox.