Tagged: Tribe

She-Fan Exclusive: Scouting Report On Indians

While several Yankees were attending the Cavaliers-Magic game tonight, I painstakingly sorted through the Indians’ lineup to gather as much intel as I could in anticipation of our four-game series.
Obviously, we need to exact payback for the humiliating 22-4 drubbing in April. So let’s look at the lineup we could be facing (they change it around a lot) and try to find weaknesses. The Tribe just came off a sweep of the Rays, so they’re feeling hot hot hot. The Yankees need to cool them off.
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* Asdrubal Cabrera.
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Not to be confused with “a strudel,” the Venezuelan shortstop has seven stolen bases. He was suspended for three games in September ’08 for his role in a brawl with the Tigers. Tip to Yankees: if he charges the mound, duck.
* Grady Sizemore.
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The center fielder has been DH-ing, due to a sore elbow. He has an unsightly 49 strikeouts and is only batting .223. Still, he always seems to kill us. Tip to Yankees: don’t be lulled into a sense of security.
* Victor Martinez.
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Another Venezuelan, Victor Jesus Martinez has been a beast lately, with 36 RBIs and a .359 average. Like his countryman, he was suspended for that fight with the Tigers last year. Tip to Yankees: get him out but don’t get him mad.
* Shin-Soo Choo.
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The former Mariner was a star in his native Korea. And last year, his .386 average with RISP was fourth best in the AL. Tip to Yankees: don’t let him come up with RISP.
* Jhonny Peralta.
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Jhonny is a shortstop with a name that’s spelled funny. He’s a third baseman too. And he’s a man with a black smiley face on his chin. He’s also got 43 Ks. Tip to Yankees: pound the zone and take your chances.
* Ryan Garko.
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This guy is no dummy. He went to Stanford, for God’s sake! Not only does he admit to reading, but he promotes literacy. Tip to Yankees: find a position for him and put him in pinstripes.
* Trevor Crowe.
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Just called up from the minors, the rookie outfielder is batting .182. His father, David Crowe, played on the PGA Tour, and his cousin, Russell Crowe, is a famous movie star. (Just kidding about Russell.) Tip to Yankees: let him get a hit – only one – so he can tell his dad about it.
* Ben Francisco.
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Not much to say here, except that he grew up in California and played high school baseball with Garko. He’s batting .259 with 31 strikeouts. Tip to Yankees: don’t sweat it.
* Luis Valbuena.
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He’s the only Venezuelan on the team that wasn’t involved in that fight with the Tigers. Plus, he has zero homers. Tip to Yankees: plunk somebody else and pitch to him.
Speaking of the fight, here’s a look.
Typical baseball hissy with lots of standing around.
Here’s hoping there are no fights – and definitely no Lake Erie midges.
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Thank You, Tribe, For Keeping the Yankees  Alive

We live another day, Yankee fans. The Indians beat the Red Sox at Fenway tonight, 4-3, and allowed us to stave off elimination. After last night’s love fest in the Bronx, it would have felt like a slap in the face to be cast out of contention without even playing today. But thanks to a nice effort by a 25-year-old pitcher named Zach Jackson, combined with a less-than-stellar outing by Josh Beckett, Cleveland won and Boston’s champagne stayed on ice. Go, Tribe!

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(That’s me at the Jake at last year’s ALDS; the guy with me is an Indians fan who calls himself one of the “Wahoo Brothers.” The picture seemed like a good idea at the time.)
Who is Zach Jackson, you ask? He’s the sort of pitcher the Yankees would have had trouble with – a garden variety lefty they’d never faced before. According to the Indians’ web site, Zach was born in Latrobe, PA, spent all of ’07 at Triple A Nashville, and made seven previous starts in the majors this season without a win. Single, “he enjoys spending time with friends and family, working out, listening to music, and watching movies.” It really says this stuff on the web site and makes Zach seem totally boring instead of super heroic, which is what he is for keeping us alive.