I only started thinking about his milestone the other day. There have been too many other Yankees-related things on my mind, and I don’t keep track of players’ stats anyway. But here we are, only two dingers shy of 600. With many of our Friends of the Blog attending the games in the Bronx over the course of this home stand, I thought I’d take a look at A-Rod’s horoscope for the rest of the month and see what it has in store.
Yes, he’s a Leo, born on July 27th, so the entire month of July is lucky for him, according to Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone. But in particular:
* July 21 – “You will feel a great weight lifted off your chest.” Is this the day he’ll hit the big one? Against the Angels? From his recent interview, it doesn’t sound as if he’s felt a great weight about the home run so I wouldn’t bet on it happening on this date.
* July 25 – “The full moon will mean solidifying a very successful, profitable business alliance.” Interesting. If he hits the home run, that’ll mean he gets a bonus, as per his contract.
* July 26 – “The best day of the month for you. You will get a double dip of luck.” Very promising but do we really want A-Rod to be celebrating in Cleveland?
There’s one more tidbit from his forecast for this month: “You appear to be spending more time with medical personnel than usual.” Uh-oh. Please no.
Scared you, didn’t I. Sorry, but in my continuing effort to explore the nature of Tex’s two-month-plus hitting slump, I delved into the world of astrology to check out his horoscope for June. Turns out he was born on April 11th, which makes him an Aries.
According to Susan Miller of Astrology Zone, Tex is in for quite an interesting month – and, possibly, so are Yankee fans. Here’s what she has to say about Aries…
“You are now in the process of a huge life change. Most of the emphasis in the coming weeks will be your evolving career status and, by early July, your home.”
See? This is where I started to get nervous. Is Tex leaving New York or just buying a new house in the Tri-State area?
“Expect a tough eclipse on June 26th. It appears that your future will entail working in a very new arena.”
Uh-oh. A new arena, as in stadium? So maybe he is getting traded? Who’s got the money to pick up his salary? Nah, can’t be.
“The eclipse will highlight your career, so something is about to happen with a VIP or your standing in the company or industry – a shift you are not expecting.”
Yikes. Is Cashman getting fired? Girardi? Kevin Long?
“You may be promoted, downsized or moved to a new department. You won’t see this coming. You may even need to move to a new house by July.”
Moved to a new department? Like his slump will get so bad they’ll make him the traveling secretary? I don’t know what to make of all this, except for this final piece of Tex’s June horoscope…
“Sometimes an eclipse will affect health, so you may have to take steps to protect your bones and teeth.”
Okay. Teeth I can live with. Maybe Tex just needs to get braces like Girardi. Whew.
Well, he’s not getting five more years or even four, so I won’t read anything into the number of fingers he’s holding up in that photo. But is he coming back for one more season? Or is the marriage over? Finished? Kaput? One day the media says his return to the Yanks is “inevitable” and the next they say it’s “doubtful.” What’s a fan supposed to believe?
Will he take a pay cut and once again frolic with his pinstriped pals?
Or will he feel slighted and go west for a reunion with his old manager?
Or will he do the unthinkable and sign with the Dark Side?
Or will he come to the conclusion that it’s time to hang it up?
When will it all be revealed?
I decided to go back to Susan Miller, the astrologer who correctly predicted Mark Teixeira’s future, and take a look at Andy’s horoscope for December. He was born on June 15th, which makes him a Gemini.
Since December is just about over, I’ll focus on the last part of her forecast.
“A new lucrative agreement will surface in one of your financial houses on December 27.”
Really? So either Brian Cashman upped the ante or some other team made an offer?
“Talks will continue into the first half of January.”
And this new lucrative agreement won’t be announced until after the first of the year?
“Even when the talks are all said and done, it could take weeks or even months to see your profits, but make no mistake; you will be richer for it.”
Which could simply mean that Andy needs to pass a physical and that he’s not getting a signing bonus.
I’m still not clear, so I’m going straight to the video. Maybe I’ll find a clue somewhere.
O.K. I found a clip of Andy telling Michael Kay he wants to come back to the Yankees in ’09, wants to pitch in the new Stadium, wants to set up housekeeping again in beautiful Westchester County, where my mother will be waiting eagerly for his return.
But then I found another clip, and now the answer is clear: Andy wants a career as a pitch man, not a pitcher. Good luck with that. We’ll miss you.
Just wanted to alert anyone who’s interested that I’ve got a piece up on the Times’ site.
More on the signing of Teixeira to come, but keep in mind…..You did hear it first right here when I posted his horoscope for December. Aries. Susan Miller. It’s in the stars. Remember? You scoffed, but it happened.
Better go check my own horoscope.
Update.… I just went on the “Bats” blog over at The Times to see if anybody commented on my article. Was I surprised. There are well over 100 comments and they’re pretty amusing. Some are pro. Some are con (such meanies). And everything in between. If you’re taking a break from wrapping presents, check them out.
So much speculation surrounding the future of Mark Teixeira. The Red Sox have said they’re out, but are they? The Angels, Nationals and Orioles have said they’re in, but are they? The Yankees have said they aren’t even making an offer, but are they? Teixeira himself has said he’ll make his decision by Christmas, but will he?
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? I’M SICK OF WAITING, PEOPLE!
Since the media has been useless in ferreting out the truth, I consulted someone who’d be able to divine it: astrologer Susan Miller. I went on her web site, astrologyzone.com, and read Teixeira’s horoscope for December. Talk about an eye-opener.
Tex was born on April 11th, which makes him an Aries – the Ram.
Here are the highlights of Susan’s forecast….
“Santa’s most vital gift for you will be to bring the most outstanding career news you’ve ever heard at holiday time – or ever!”
Most outstanding career news ever? That suggests Tex will get the $195 million he’s seeking.
“A major promotion or job switch to a powerful, exciting new position should arrive just after the new moon December 27.”
Job switch? That indicates the Angels won’t be Tex’s destination, since he’s already been their first baseman. So long, Halos.
“Starting in late December you will have Jupiter, Mercury, Pluto, Mars, the sun, and the new moon crowded in your solar tenth house of professional prestige and promotion, the part of your chart that brings all sorts of acclaim to your reputation.”
Prestige? No offense, but that takes care of the Nationals and Orioles. Bye bye, you two.
And then there’s the acclaim to your reputation bit. Which team has had more acclaim: Red Sox or Yankees? I know, I know. The Red Sox have won the World Series twice in four years and the Yankees haven’t won it since 2000. But over the course of history, the Yanks have won it 26 times. That’s a whole lot of acclaim. See ya, Boston.
Which doesn’t mean the Yankees will give Tex the contract terms he’s asking for. Eight years? That would put him in pinstripes until 2016, and the Yanks are unlikely to agree to such a long-term deal. But let’s see what Susan Miller has to say.
“Having six heavenly bodies crowded into that lofty part of your chart will be a huge competitive advantage and is so exceptional that you’ll not have the same kind of cosmic help again until 2019.“
Holy smokes. The Yankees will tie Tex up for ELEVEN years.
I wasn’t expecting that.
Do I want Mark Teixeira? Of course.
But do I want him until he can hardly get through an interview with Michael Kay?
No. I don’t. Be careful what you wish for.