Today’s news that the Yankees signed the arbitration-eligible Chad Gaudin and Boone Logan didn’t exactly send me into the streets shouting with excitement. My reaction was more like this.
Sure, it’ll be nice to have extra arms available in the pen. But what caught my attention was the pre-Yankees facial hair sported by both pitchers. I mean, seriously. Here’s Boone when he was with the White Sox. What was he thinking?
Not only are his eyebrows the size of my arms, but that thing on his chin could be used to paint houses.
And how about Chad Gaudin when he was a Cub?
His beard was like something he clipped off the head of Raggedy Andy and taped to his face.
Neither is as bad as this though.
I guess what I’m asking is why? Can some of the guys who read this blog explain the appeal of these beards? I’m not anti-beard, given that my husband has had one since the day I met him and wouldn’t shave it off for anything. I’m just not getting the billy goat look.
How do you not end up with ketchup all over it every time you eat a burger? How do you not find a nest of hornets in it? How do you not know when it’s time to say, “Enough?”
P.S. Since he was mentioned in the comments, here’s Ryan Franklin and his chin music. Euwww.
Usually, it’s all about the kids when couples split up. But in San Diego, it’s all about the Padres. Yes, Padres owner John Moores, the computer software tycoon, is being sued for divorce by his wife of 44 years, Rebecca. (You can call her Becky.)
John and Becky met in high school history class in Texas and married soon after. But John forgot to get something VERY important when he and Becky moved to California.
Right. A pre-nup. So Becky, whose grounds for the divorce are the generic “irreconcilable differences,” is entitled to half of her ex’s assets, the jewel of which is the Padres.
Trouble. Maybe they’ll do right by the kids fans and, instead of selling the team, they’ll pass their shares down to their daughter and make her the owner.
On the other hand, John has hired Goldman Sachs to find a buyer for the Pads.
I’m reminded of one of the divorces (there have been several) of the Steinbrenner children and how it affected the Yankees. It’s a sorry saga that involved a DUI arrest by son-in-law and heir apparent Steve Swindal. Here he is in happier times with George’s daughter, Jennifer.
(She’s a tall drink of water, isn’t she?) Once Swindal was out of the family he was bounced from the Yankees too. Bad move, Steve.
Anyhow, it’ll be interesting to see how the Moores’ situation plays out. Will they act in the best interests of Padres’ fans (either trade Peavy or resolve to keep him already!) or go at each other in the time-honored tradition of high-profile divorces everywhere?