Tagged: Russell Branyan

Girardi Needs To Get Tossed Again

Joe.Ump.jpg
Well? The last time he got mad the Yankees woke up and reeled off seven straight wins. The streak ended tonight with a lame 8-4 loss to the Mariners in the series finale. So my advice to Joe is to work himself into a really good lather against the Blue Jays tomorrow.
shavingscream.jpg
Here’s another thing that needs to happen: Tex gets a day off. I touted him as an All-Star in a reputable newspaper this morning and wouldn’t you know he’d make his first error of the season and have an uncharacteristically blah showing? He’s played in every game since Opening Day and he’s finally looking it. Time to rest him.
kid.asleep.jpg
Also on the list: CC needs to figure out why he pitched so poorly. He kept leaving the ball up and wasn’t fooling any of the Seattle hitters except Branyan, the strikeout king, whose walk in the sixth was CC’s undoing.
cc.leaves.jpg
Maybe the 36-minute rain delay bothered him, since there wasn’t any rain. Or maybe he was sleepy and craved a nap. Or maybe he was dying for a burger and a nap.
burger-bed-1.jpg
Whatever. He made way for Aceves, who was brilliant until he wasn’t. Why he was left in to pitch the ninth was beyond me, but Branyan’s bomb off him not only hit the Mohegan Sun restaurant in center field but traveled all the way to Santa Barbara and broke my living room window.
broken.window.jpg
A bright spot was Matsui, who had been relegated to the bench during interleague play but came back to life as the DH. He belted a homer and a double – much to the delight of the small group of his family members visiting from Japan.
japanese_crowd.jpg
Otherwise, the game was disappointing. The ninth inning rally started by Cano and Swisher quickly fizzled. There would be no walkoff. No celebration. No pie. Sadly.
pie-in-the-face.jpg

She-Fan Exclusive: Scouting Report On Mariners

Fresh off the sweep of the Mets, the Yankees face another injury-riddled team.

mariners.jpeg
I’m such an ancient mariner that I still remember when they were called the Pilots, talk about a lame logo.
pilots.jpg
Without Beltre at third, Chavez in left and Betancourt at short, their whole left side is hurting.
left.pain.jpg
Even so, they could be dangerous. We should take nothing for granted and absolutely not come out looking like flu victims.
nose.man.jpg
OK. Here we go. They’ll be changing their lineup around, but these are the main characters.
1) Ichiro Suzuki.
ichiro.jpg
Obviously, he’s a great outfielder as well as a hitting machine. I think he’s got an 11-game streak right now. And his current average is a sick .372. But that routine he does at the plate – the sleeve tugging, the bat pointing, the whole drama – is really annoying. Tip to Yankees: The pitchers should step off the rubber and stall in order to screw up his timing.
2) Russell Branyan.

branyan.jpg
He’s played for the Indians, the Reds, the Brewers, the Padres, the (Devil) Rays, the Phillies, and the Cardinals – almost as many teams as LaTroy Hawkins. Now, he’s the Mariners’ first baseman and he’s batting .303 with 19 homers. He’s also struck out 73 times. Tip to Yankees: Throw him nothing but high cheddar.
3) Jose Lopez.
lopez.jpg
A happy-looking Venezuelan who covers second or third base, he tied a Major League record last year with three sac flies in one game. Tip to Yankees: Try to get him to hit the ball on the ground.
4) Ronny Cedeno.

cedeno.jpg
Another Venezuela native and former Cub, he’s taken over the shortstop role in Betancourt’s absence. Although he had his first career grand slam in ’08, he’s batting .133. Tip to Yankees: Don’t walk him.
5) Kenji Johjima.
johjima.jpg
The Mariners’ catcher, Kenji (I love saying his name out loud for some reason) has a museum in his honor in his hometown of Sasebo, Japan, despite only having a .269 career batting average. Tip to Yankees: Show him respect by spinning him off the plate now and then.


6) Franklin Gutierrez.

gutierrez.jpg
Yet another Venezuelan, he played for the Indians before becoming the Mariners’ center fielder. In 2008, he swung at the first pitch only 11.8% of the time, the fifth lowest in the AL. Tip to Yankees: Throw him first pitch strikes.
7) Wladimir Balentien.

balentien.jpg
No, I didn’t misspell this outfielder’s first name. It starts with a “W” but is pronounced “Vladimir.” He’s from the island of Curacao and played for the Netherlands in the WBC, and now he’s filling in for the ailing Endy Chavez and hitting .230. Tip to Yankees: He’s no Vladie, as in Guerrero.


8) Chris Woodward.

woodward.jpg
He was originally signed by the Blue Jays and did time with the Mets, and is one of those guys who’s played every position except catcher. A few years ago, he was the first Toronto shortstop to hit three homers in a game. Tip to Yankees: Keep the ball down and away.


9) Ken Griffey Jr.

Junior.jpg
First of all, am I the only one who didn’t know his real first name is George? And I still don’t get why he has a thing against the Yanks; that story about his father isn’t the stuff of post traumatic stress syndrome. He’s hitting a paltry .218 as the DH, and yet he’s “Junior” and he’s HOF bound. Tip to Yankees: Let him crank one out in a game if we’re leading by a lot.


I’d make a prediction for this series, but I’m too superstitious.
superstitions.jpg
P.S. Programming note: The segment I taped for the YES Network’s “Yankees Magazine” about my book will start airing this Wednesday, July 1. I think the show is broadcast twice a day for a week – at 11:30 a.m. and 11 p.m. ET – so my friends in New York need to tell me if they see it. I don’t get YES out here in California except for the actual Yankees games, so I asked the producer to send me a copy of the show. Maybe I can upload it and post it at some point.