BREAKING NEWS: It looks like after a day of media reports that the two sides were far apart in their contract negotiations, Brian Cashman and Derek Jeter have met and decided to make a deal. I’m very relieved, to say the least.
My adopted team lost tonight. No, it would be more accurate to say they gave the game away. When your shortstop makes three errors in the same inning (two on the same play), it’s bad. And when your non-Manny hitters can’t hit, it’s death. The end. Goodbye. I’d congratulate the Phillies but I don’t know them very well yet, except for Cole Hamels, who is handsome and can pitch; I wish the Yankees had him, in the same way I wish the Yankees had everyone who’s good.
I’m genuinely sorry that Joe and Donnie aren’t going to the World Series, but they’re not in pinstripes anymore so I’m not suicidal sorry.
Besides, there IS something to be joyful about….
Now that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce, she and A-Rod don’t have to sneak around her apartment building anymore. She’ll sing to him and teach him about the Kabbalah and feed him nutritious, vegetarian meals, and he’ll be so happy he’ll hit 74 homers next season, drive in 200 runs and win the MVP again.
Come on, we all need something to look forward to after our adopted teams get bounced from the playoffs.