Tagged: mopping the floor
This Really Happened (Warning: Not for the Squeamish)
While the rest of the country has been getting blitzed by snow and ice and frigid temps, we’ve been spared here in Santa Barbara. But it’s been unseasonably cold – in the 30s at night. Brrr.
My husband Michael and I decided to make a big, steaming hot pot of chili for a chilly night. Perfect, right?
A roaring fire…
some red wine…
a little shredded cheddar on the chili…
and we were all set. The meal was so delicious that we didn’t even talk. We just stuffed our faces and every few minutes went, “Wow, this is good.”
When we were finished, Michael turned on ESPN and I started to put the leftover chili away in those Tupperware bowls.
I was placing one of the bowls on the shelf in the refrigerator when I heard someone on ESPN say, “The Nationals may have upped their offer to Mark Teixeira in an attempt to land the free agent first baseman before Christmas.”
O.K. I was clearly stunned by this news and what happened next was all my fault. Still, I blame Tupperware for not having tighter lids.
Yes, the bowl slipped out of my hands, bounced onto the hardwood floor and splattered chili everywhere – onto the walls, onto the furniture, even into the air conditioning ducts.
covering every surface imaginable.
If it weren’t for the kidney beans, you would have thought it was a bloody crime scene.
Next came the accusations, the recriminations, the “It’s your fault”s.
“If you hadn’t gotten all distracted by the Teixeira thing, we wouldn’t have to spend the next four hours cleaning this up!” said Michael.
“It’s the Nationals that caused it, not me!” I countered.
I suggested we call in the professionals. I mean, the white walls were now stained a revolting orange-y red. There wasn’t enough Fantastik on the planet to spray it off.
But my ever frugal husband said we had to to handle this on our own.
Which, of course, meant that I had to handle it on my own.
I didn’t know which part of the evening upset me more – the Teixeira news, the mess, or the fact that my leftover chili was no longer on the menu for tomorrow night. Although Michael did suggest that I save it off the floor. The barbarian.
It was nearly midnight when I’d finished cleaning. As I passed out from sheer exhaustion, I remember wondering, Is Mark Teixeira worth this?