Tagged: Magglio Ordonez

Top Ten Reasons Why The Yankees Didn’t Winn Tonight

Yeah, he’s Reason #1:

Winn may look a little like Bernie Williams but he sure doesn’t hit like him. I was hoping he’d step up when Granderson went down and make something of his opportunity. Not so far and definitely not tonight.
Reason #2:
“Boone Logan” is a cool name for a pitcher, but that’s not enough. Sometimes you actually have to get hitters out.
Reason #3:
Mitre wasn’t bad, and I’d be fine with him making another spot start if necessary, but when he served up that solo shot to Damon I felt sick.
Reason #4
A-Rod made a throwing error and Gardner lost a ball in center, and the defense looked flat in general – well, except for a terrific play by Cano and some nice picks by Tex.
Reason #5:
Jeter’s in a slump. He looks uncomfortable when he swings…and misses.
Reason #6:
Dontrelle was scratched at the last minute, so the Yankees had to face an Aussie with no discernible talent or experience. They don’t do well against pitchers like that.
Reason #7
Ordonez cut his hair. Now that it’s short, he has less weight to carry around. He made a web gem-y diving catch in right field.
Reason #8:
The Yankees always lay down after they finish up a series against the Red Sox. The poor things were just spent.
Reason #9:
The Bombers’ plane got into Detroit really late after the Boston game Sunday night, plus their pilots were too busy fondling the championship trophy to avoid turbulence.
Reason #10:
When Valverde came in to close, with the Yankees only down a run, they were forced to watch him jump around on the mound and couldn’t stop laughing. I know I couldn’t. We’re not talking about a guy who pumps his fist at the end of an inning. This character puts on a show after every pitch. And apparently, it’s been going on awhile.
Jose Valverde.jpg
Well? Wouldn’t you be a little distracted by the Little Richard routine?

Beauty And The Beast (The Beast Won)

Today’s Yankees-Tigers contest was a classic match-up between Verlander, who was nearly unhittable through six innings and looked beautiful doing it….
…and CC, who threw seven shutout innings but looked, well, beastly.
Aside from Jeter’s two hits, the Yankees offense was nonexistent – until the seventh. I admit I was about to tip my cap to Verlander and write this one off. But then along came A-Rod with a Yankee Stadium Special.
It was hardly a moonshot like Tex’s homer last night, but good enough to make it into the seats and give the Yanks a 1-0 lead.
Beauty (aka Verlander) pouted.
He should have re-focused, because Cano singled, Swisher doubled, and Melky beat out an infield hit, scoring Cano, to make it 2-0.
In the eighth, Aceves replaced CC, who really gutted it out today (no pun intended). Ace was pitching to Cabrera when the umpire called a ball on him for going to his mouth without stepping off the mound.
He protested that he was really just wiping sweat off his cheek.
wiping sweat.jpg
Yeah, right, Alfredo. Good one!
He got Cabrera out, but served one up to Thames before retiring Ordonez on a called third strike. Which reminds me: what happened to Magglio’s hair? He went from this…
…to this.
I thought only Yankees had to join the Clean Cut Club.
Mo pitched a 1-2-3 ninth, thanks to great defense by Jeter. He notched save #507, and the Yanks took their second straight 2-1.
Tomorrow is Old Timers Day at the Stadium. I wish I could be there to see Mike Mussina back in pinstripes, but for now I’ll just feast my eyes on this and say, “Thanks for the memories, Moose.” Oh, and if you’re not busy, how about starting on Tuesday?

Watching The Yankees = Watching A Horror Movie

For three straight days I was tortured by the Red Sox and their merriment. Tonight, in the Yankees’ 4-2 loss to the Tigers at Comerica, I was tortured by Justin Verlander and his 99-mph fastball. Watching my team lately has taken on the feel of this.
Every horror movie has a few likable, heroic characters, and tonight’s game was no different. Cano kept hitting (why wasn’t he batting cleanup?). CC gave the pen a night off (loved the fourth when he K-ed Ordonez, Cabrera and Guillen; he could have gotten a “W” if he’d had a little run support). And Pena continued to show why he’s a better utility infielder than both Ransom and Berroa (duh).
And then there were the scary villains….
* Justin Verlander and his high cheese.
* Placido Domingo Polanco and his oddly shaped head.
placido polanco.jpg
* Magglio Ordonez and his oddly shaped hair.
* Jorge Posada and his tendency to ground into rally-killing double plays.
It’s true that the Yankees didn’t arrive in Detroit until the wee hours of the morning and were probably as tired as they looked. But isn’t that what this is for?
Getting back to “Carrie,” I was thinking how empowering it would be to have her gift of telekinesis – to make things happen just by thinking about them.
Here are a few ways I would use my power to help the Yankees…
* I would heal A-Rod, Nady, Bruney and the newly banged up Damon.
* I would fix Wang’s mechanics and, if necessary, his mind.
* I would turn Brett Gardner, Melky Cabrera and Nick Swisher into better hitters. (Swish is spiraling back down to earth. I can feel it.)
* I would command Jose Veras not to walk anybody. Ditto: Marte.
* I would put ten pounds on Edwar Ramirez, as well as give him another pitch besides the change-up.
* I would make Jeter five years younger.
* I would leave Mo exactly the way he is.
* I would trade Kei Igawa for Roy Halladay straight up.
* I would insure that the Yankees win their 27th championship this year.
* I would haunt anybody who tried to thwart me.