Tagged: Kevin Millar

Getting Up For Josh Beckett

On the eve of the first game in yet another Yankees-Red Sox series, I was feeling a little tired of The Rivalry. Seriously. Not only do we play them tomorrow night for what seems like the millionth time, but with some of the old Red Sox antagonists gone — Pedro, Schilling, Trot Nixon, Kevin Millar — I began to wonder if I could muster the same old feelings. You know the ones I’m talking about. They look like this.
Now that the Yankees are coming off a championship and have already won this season’s opening round at Fenway, I’m not quite as crazed as usual. I mean, David Ortiz pals around with A-Rod during batting practice. Mike Lowell always seems pleasant enough. And what about how Jeter jokes with Pedroia and Youkilis; the three of them act like brothers, for God’s sake.
So what’s to get all worked up about? The fans at Fenway and their “Yankees suck” chants? Even that’s so yesterday. I’m telling you, I was sitting here wondering how to psyche myself up for tomorrow night and then I lit on Boston’s starter for the game: Josh Beckett. Yesss. There’s no one I enjoy watching the Yankees beat more than the Beckster. So, for anyone reading this who’s having the same sense of malaise that I was, check out this video. It was made by a love struck Red Sox fan named Hillary. Pay particular attention to the shot of Josh with the deer. Well, the puppy one’s cool too. Anyhow, just try and watch this and then tell me you don’t want the Yanks to hit, like, 20 homers off this guy.

Trick or Treat

Just came back from stalking the neighborhood in my Halloween costume (I was Jeanie Zelasco), and everywhere I went I got the same question: “Are the Yankees really getting Manny?” It was nonstop!
Not only that, you should have seen all the kids. Oh, sure. There were a few Sarah Palins. But every other costume was Manny – different versions of Manny.
I saw a Rookie Manny.
I saw a couple of Clean Cut Mannys.
I saw a Blonde Kevin Millar Manny.
I saw a Beauty Salon Manny.
I saw a Dodgers Dreadlocks Manny.
And I saw a Short Curly Locks Manny.
Yes, Manuel Aristides Ramirez Oneleida (did you know he had another last name?) was all over the neighborhood. Hank Steinbrenner told the Associated Press today that Manny was a possible option for the Yanks (along with every other free agent), and his words had a ripple effect all the way across the country to California.
Will the Manster, indeed, end up in the Bronx? I say absolutely not. We don’t need a mediocre outfielder who’s 36 years old and will cost a fortune. We don’t need a troublemaker who will shove our traveling secretary. We don’t need someone who says he hates the spotlight. We don’t need a player who fakes injuries. And we really don’t need a father with two sons named Manny, because it’s much too confusing for our media relations department.
So it’ll be NO to Manny for the above reasons and others too numerous to mention.
Of course, I predicted the Rays would win the World Series.