Tagged: Jim Carrey

What Will Cashman Say Next?

Does anyone remember Jim Carrey’s character in the comedy “Liar Liar?”
He had to tell the truth no matter what because of his son’s birthday wish. After reading about Brian Cashman’s WFAN sponsored breakfast today and all the gems that popped out of his mouth, I’m wondering if one of his kids made the same birthday wish. The Yankees have often been accused of being a secretive organization, not disclosing injuries, not wanting to discuss contract issues, evading reporters’ questions, but not today and not with Cashman at the mic.
To wit, here are some of his candid remarks:
* He foresees Jeter moving to centerfield (as opposed to third base) at some point in the future.
* He rates the Red Sox as the better team (except for our bullpen).
* He thinks Joba is washed up. (OK, he didn’t say that, but he did admit that Joba hasn’t been the same since his shoulder injury.)
* He implied that a couple of our minor league pitchers are better than Nova.
* He repeated that he wasn’t on board with the signing of Soriano.
* He doesn’t want Andy back unless his heart is in it.
Will Cash’s truth-telling compulsion continue? And if so, what will he blurt out at the next media event? A few possibilities…
* “I’d be willing to trade anybody for Felix Hernandez.”
* “I like Hank better than Hal, as it turns out.”
* “I always laugh when I see that commercial on YouTube with Coney doing the ‘El Duque.'”
* “I wish I had my own funny commercial.”
* “I wish I were taller.”
* “I wish I had as much hair as Theo Epstein.”
* “I wish the Yankees would win the World Series this year so fans would stop sulking over Cliff Lee.”
* “I wish Cliff Lee had said yes.”
That’s it for tonight. I’m off to watch the State of the Union address. Wouldn’t it be cool if politicians were forced to tell the truth – even for 24 hours?

New Reality Show: Who Wants To Be A Yankees Pitcher?

It’s spring training. I understand that. But why wasn’t there a single pitcher who could get through an inning without giving up a run to the Reds in the Yankees’ 13-11 loss? Because there wasn’t, that’s why. Not. One. Pitcher.


Don’t these kids work out in the off-season? Don’t they throw the ball around with their dads? Don’t they even try to simulate a real game or would their arms turn to sawdust?
All I know is that the Yankees took a bus load of pitchers to Sarasota and none of them looked ready for prime time.
Aceves: 3 runs.
Albaladejo: 1 run.
Cox: 1 run.
(Yes, that’s Jim Carrey. Cox doesn’t have a photo on the Yankees web site yet, and judging by today’s performance he never will.)
Marte: 2 runs.
Bruney: 1 run.
Garcia: 4 big ones.
Melancon: 1 run.
Again. I realize it’s spring training. Just practice. It doesn’t count. Who cares if the Yankees hurlers are rusty, ironing out the kinks, fine-tuning their stuff? 
Great, but what if I used the same standard on this blog? Should I misspell every other word and forget what commas are for and act as if I’m just practicing? It’s spring training for me too, and yet you don’t hear me whining about being rusty.
So pull it together, pitchers, especially you, Melancon or Melancholy or whatever your name is. Just get batters out, would you? Somebody? Please?
Update: Just taped an interview with MLBlogger Lisa Winston and her hubby Wayne Wilentz for their “Baseball Honeymoon” podcast airing later this week. They asked me to name my top five baseball books and here’s the list I gave them. (No, I didn’t say my own book. I’m not that shameless.)
Ball Four
The Bronx Zoo
The Boys of Summer
Living on the Black
Fear Strikes Out
Anyone else have a top five list?