I got home late from my Thursday night writer’s workshop, and immediately starting thinking about Yankees-Red Sox. Will the Yankees break their 2009 losing streak at Fenway? Will they continue their winning ways? Or will the suddenly hot Sox reassert themselves in The Rivalry and succeed in inching closer to first place?
I decided to put my musings here. Let’s go to the videotape.
What’s your prediction for Game 1?
Even this Yankee fan is on the edge of her seat. Will Varitek sign with the Red Sox by the time I wake up in the morning here on the West Coast? Will Josh Beckett, Jon Lester and Dice K have their trusty catcher to catch to? Will Red Sox fans like Julia and Elizabeth get their guy back?
According to MLB.com, there’s a chance Varitek would actually sit out the season rather than take less than he feels he’s worth. I can’t picture it, but stranger things have happened in baseball….and on soap operas.
Here, then, are some scenes that provide a glimpse of how a Red Sox-Varitek love affair might conclude.
Take 1: The Worst Case Scenario.
Take 2: Scott Boras The Devil Intervenes.
Take 3: Together Forever…Again.
How’s this for trivia. Before becoming an actor, Drake Hogestyn (above) played minor league baseball for the Yankees. He turned to soaps when he couldn’t make it to the bigs. Our loss? Their loss? Toss-up.
O.K. Don’t kill me, anybody. He’ll probably sign with the Red Sox within the next six seconds. I’m just saying that he’s still out there and maybe he’s getting a little antsy.
And let’s face it. There’s a history of Boston players crossing over into enemy territory, most of whom felt unappreciated and/or underpaid.
There was, of course, Babe Ruth. He crossed over and became, well, The Babe.
Sparky Lyle crossed over and won three straight AL pennants and two World Series and was the first reliever to win the Cy Young award.
Wade Boggs crossed over and had four straight .300+ seasons, earned two Gold Gloves and helped the Yankees win their first World Series in 18 years.
Roger Clemens crossed over after taking a detour through Toronto. He won two World Series and notched his 300th win and 4,000th strikeout as a Yankee. (Go ahead. Put an asterisk next to him if you must.)
Flash Gordon crossed over. He was a terrific set-up man for Mo and led the AL in holds in ’04 with 36.
The list wouldn’t be complete without Johnny Damon, who swore he’d never leave Boston but took the extra year the Yanks offered (and the extra millions). He batted .303 last season and was one of the most consistent hitters on an underachieving team.
Back to Varitek. Why in the world would he sign with the Yankees and why in the world would the Yankees want him?
1) Scott Boras. The guy lives for this stuff.
2) Jorge Posada. What if he can’t throw?
3) Jose Molina. What if he can’t catch every day?
4) Chad Moeller. Gone.
5) Ivan Rodriguez. Gone.
6) Francisco Cervelli. A prospect from Triple A.
7) Kevin Cash. Another crossover, but a lowly one on the order of Mike Myers, Alan Embree and Mark “the strikeout king” Bellhorn.
Are there obstacles to a deal? Absolutely. Varitek hates #13.
But they’d work it out. That’s what being a big leaguer is all about.
There’s also the money. Do the Yankees have any left? I’m not their accountant, but probably.
And there’s the issue of Varitek’s batting average; it hovered near the Mendoza line last season. But it just beat out Nick Swisher’s and the Yankees took him. We take lots of players who look like they’re ready for the glue factory. Sometimes they revive. Sometimes they don’t. Nothing is for sure in this game, not even Jason Varitek’s next address.
As I sit and wait for some free agent to sign somewhere….tick tock, tick tock….I can’t help but be reminded that one man controls the destiny of almost every coveted player except CC and AJ. (Maybe he doesn’t handle clients who go by initials only.) He is The One who will oversee the futures of the following…..
not to mention Jason Varitek, Garret Anderson (or did he retire), Ivan Rodriguez (he should retire) and Julian Tavarez (he should be locked away in a padded cell). The One of whom I speak is, of course, this man.
You can tell he’s Scott Boras by how hard he’s plotting and planning. The question is: Is his power limited to the fates of baseball players? Or does it extend far, far beyond the realm of sports?
Like can he negotiate a bailout for these three?
Can he reunite these men at Madison Square Garden, including the dead ones?
Can he take away all the calories in this and turn it into a health food?
Can he make this man funny again?
Can he cause it to rain in drought-stricken California?
Can he cure diseases and enable us to live forever?
If he can do all that, he can surely do this.
Yes, if you are really so powerful, Scottie, you can make this happen simply by handing over your FAs to us for a pittance. It would be a gesture of good will after what you put us through with A-Rod last year, and it would make you a god in New York.
Unfortunately, it would make you the opposite everywhere else.
Your choice, Scott. Use your power wisely.