First, I must give a public lashing to 

Yes, you, Mr. Hunter. After you were nailed at first in that close play, you stomped up and down like a petulant child and jammed your knee. Your crime didn’t rise to the level of Kevin Brown punching a wall, but it was dumb. Your error in center didn’t help your cause.

Next, I must pass judgement on 

Yes, you, Mr. Kendrick. You not only struck out swinging with bases loaded (have you ever heard of taking a pitch?), but you’ve left 11 men on base in this series. Bad, Howie. Bad.

Now, I must take to task the one and only 

Yes, you, Mr. K-Rod. You can yell and scream and point to the sky all you want, but the fact remains that you were ineffective tonight. I’d worry about that big contract if I were you.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t call out

Yes, you, Angels fans. Your thundersticks are ridiculous. Have you noticed that Yankee fans manage perfectly well by cheering for our team using our own hands? It’s called clapping.

And finally, I must single out the most shameful of all

Yes, you, Mr. Rally Monkey. Enough said.

P.S. There IS one person who did distinguish himself tonight

Yes, you, Mr. Teixeira. You went 3-for-3 with a sac fly, and I want you on the Yankees in ’09. A lot.