Tagged: Hank Steinbrenner

My Jeter Countdown

I hope everybody has been enjoying their Thanksgiving weekend. I’ve been enjoying mine. Well, except for the cold, hard reality that The Captain and The Yankees remain in negotiations hell. The fact that they haven’t made a deal and seem to be in a bona fide standoff is upsetting to me. It haunts my sleep. It creates low-level anxiety. It causes me to snap at my husband for no apparent reason.
(Oddly, I’m not worried about Mo’s situation. The Yankees need him and will pay him, and that deal will happen.) Anyhow, I’ve decided that I’m going to post a different Jeter video every night on this blog until the announcement comes down that he’s safely back in the fold – no matter how long it takes. So here’s Video #1. I’d like Cashman and the Steinbrenners to watch it and then try to tell Casey Close with a straight face that his client is just another ballplayer.

She-Fan Exclusive: Cashman and Jeter Sit Down in Tampa

BREAKING NEWS: It looks like after a day of media reports that the two sides were far apart in their contract negotiations, Brian Cashman and Derek Jeter have met and decided to make a deal. I’m very relieved, to say the least. 

Breaking News: Lee Will Sign But With A New Demand

Leave it to Suzyn Waldman to go down to Arkansas and get an exclusive with Cliff Lee. I thought he was a laid-back, aw-shucks type, but apparently he’s really full of himself. Take a look. 

At the Break: My State of the Universe Address

On the eve of the All Star break, I thought it was the perfect time to assess the state of the Yankees Universe and discuss what needs to be done to insure a successful second half. Here goes…
“With the best record in baseball, the Yankees are already on a pace to win it all – again.”
“Our starting rotation is strong, Cliff Lee or no Cliff Lee.”
“The Captain is perking up at the plate. He just has to stop swinging at first pitches.”
“Swisher is a better #2 than Nick Johnson ever would have been.”
“Tex is finally heating up – for real – and his defense has been outstanding.”
“A-Rod keeps knocking in runs. And HR #600 will quickly lead to #601, #602, #603, etc.”
“Is there really anything Robinson Cano can’t do this season?”
“Having Posada healthy means that Cervelli can go back to being a good backup.”
“Granderson has been somewhat disappointing so far at the plate. More productivity would go a long way toward making people stop wishing AJax would suddenly re-appear.”
“Marcus Thames isn’t useless after all. It turns out he’s a decent DH/pinch hitter.”
“Brett Gardner is the most exciting Yankee in years. He has to keep getting on base though.”
“Mo is Mo – a precious asset never to be taken for granted.”
“Dave Robertson has pitched better lately, but more consistency would be helpful.”
“Chan Ho Park is OK for one inning maybe – but that is all.”
“Damaso Marte doesn’t scare me as much as he did early in the season.”
“Joba….Well, if Joe keeps running him out there in the 8th I’ll need a defibrillator. He must be fixed or I won’t make it through the rest of the season.”
“Chad Gaudin is not Alfredo Aceves. Alfredo Aceves is no longer Alfredo Aceves. Therefore, we need a better long man.”
“We need another reliable arm out of the pen, period – someone not named Jonathan Albaladejo.”
“We need a bat off the bench. I love Ramiro Pena and Colin Curtis, but are they the players I want to see pinch hitting in a big game? Nah.”
“We need better communication between the Yankees and the media when it comes to player injuries. No more ‘Yes, he’s hurt. No, he’s not hurt.’ Just tell us.”
“It’s not necessary to have the grounds crew dance to ‘YMCA’ anymore. It really isn’t.”
“Where’s Hank Steinbrenner? And why isn’t he firing off Steinbrennerisms this year?”
“Why can’t YES re-hire David Cone and phase out John ‘the Snooze’ Flaherty?”
“We need to keep Dave Eiland from ever leaving the team again.”
“And finally, there should be more Yankees merchandise for she-fans – from Yankees lipstick to Yankees nail polish (the same color Jorge wears) and especially Yankees hair products. I mean, who wouldn’t want pinstriped hair?”


That concludes my address. God Bless America and God Bless the New York Yankees.

Notes From The White House

Such a busy day for me before the Yankees even got to the East Room.
Just kidding. I don’t have a purple cardigan sweater with buttons like that, although I do have a pinstriped shirt (well, a pinstriped jersey). Anyhow, I know the Yanks have been to the White House several times, but it never gets old. I was teary eyed throughout the whole ceremony this afternoon. How could I not be when the event provided moments like this, where the President got to shake the hand of God?
Other observations:
* Where was Hank Steinbrenner?
* Why was Phil Hughes the only one wearing a gray suit?
* Who were all those people chanting “Hip Hip Jorge?”
* Why were Marte, Cano and Cervelli chewing gum?
* How many times did Obama mention the White Sox?/Don’t we already know he’s their #1 fan?/Did he burn the Yankees jersey right after everybody left?
* Did A-Rod feel uncomfortable meeting Obama, after the Prez called the revelations about his PED use “depressing” last February?
* Why did John Sterling get to stand right smack in the middle of the players?
* Couldn’t Biden have been allowed to say something nice about the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees?
* If the Yankees win again this year will they let bloggers go to the White House next year?
* How jealous am I of this kid?
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“I don’t need a left-handed bat for the outfield.”

That’s what Cashman said today, according to LoHud. And while it’s all well and good for the Yankees GM to say that HE doesn’t need a left-handed bat for the outfield, what about us fans?
Has he stopped to ask us what WE need? I said I was OK with Brett Gardner in left and I am. But the team would be stronger with Johnny Damon on the roster. So what’s the big deal? Just sign the guy and get it over with, so we can see him popping out of the dugout and knocking the ball into Damon’s Deck?
Free agents are dropping like flies. Even Eric Hinske has a new team. Did we really spend every last dime on Nick Johnson? Is there nothing left in the vault for Damon? Can’t Hal and Hank chip in a few million from their trust funds?
If all the Yankees needed was a right-handed bat off the bench to play the outfield, why not hold onto Shelley Duncan? Oh, well. We did hold onto Sergio Mitre and his 6.79 ERA. Now that’s a relief.
Cashman also said he’s not looking for bullpen help. Really? Because these two inspire so much confidence?
I know I sound cranky in this post, but I’m feeling cranky right now. I want Damon to remain a Yankee. Not forever. Not for a gazillion dollars. Just figure it out, Cashman. Johnny’s already got his favorite restaurants in New York, even if he can’t pronounce their names. Don’t mess with this, Cash.

Cashman’s Penalty For Not Signing A Left Fielder Yet

While I was in Tampa dancing with Hal Steinbrenner and cheering on the Yankees pitchers in their Chippendale’s debut, I got a tip that Brian Cashman was in town. Apparently, he’d been summoned by the “other brother.” I’m speaking, of course, of Hankenstein.
Hank’s been keeping a low profile lately, but my sources told me he’s been incensed that Cashman hasn’t signed a left fielder yet. And now, with all signs pointing to DeRosa going to the Giants, Cash is really feeling Hank’s wrath. I went back to my hotel, fell asleep and had a horrible nightmare. As you can see below, I dreamed that Hank ate Cash – just swallowed him whole. I woke up hoping for Cash’s sake that we have a new Yankee in LF by New Year’s Day. I really don’t want to lose our GM just because Hank is hungry.

OMG! What Will Become Of Derek Jeter?

Just when Yankee fans thought it was safe to go back on the sports pages, there’s a story by Joel Sherman of the Post that’s driven bloggers bloggy. With spring training a mere week away, why must we be faced with the next soap opera already? And why must it star Derek Jeter?

(No, I’m not the one in the photo throwing myself at Jeet. I don’t own a Giambi jersey or a pair of skin-tight white shorts. Nor have I ever run onto the field. Well, in my mind I have, but that’s for another post.)
The gist of Sherman’s article is that Jeter’s 10-year, $189 million contract will be up in the fall of 2010, at which time the Yankees will be confronted with a Major League Dilemma.
Do they sign The Captain to another huge contract, even though he’ll be a 37-year-old with declining skills? How can they not pony up to keep the veritable Face of the Franchise – the guy who’ll have the most hits in Yankees history? If they keep him, where will they play him? If they let him walk, where will he end up? Is this a game anybody wins?
It’s enough to make me go mental.
But I pulled myself together and came up with some solutions – all of them allowing the aging Jeter to remain with the organization for the rest of his life.
1) He’s given an ownership stake in the team, becomes a Steinbrenner Son along with Hal and Hank, and changes his first name to Harvey.
2) He becomes The Yankee Emeritus, walking onto the field at the end of every game and making a “Thank you for being such great fans” speech, like the one he delivered at the Stadium finale. 
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3) He relinquishes his endorsements of Ford trucks and men’s cologne and instead pitches products geared for his own demographic.
polident_.jpg4) He becomes chairman of the Yankees Assisted Living Facility, a luxurious compound for active seniors
5) He purchases all the food for the Yankees restaurants.
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6) He replaces Kate Smith and sings “God Bless America.”
Of course, what I’d really like to see happen is for time to stand still and for Jeter to be the Yankees shortstop in perpetuity. Amen.

Where Oh Where Is Brian Cashman?

Apparently, the Yankees GM is on vacation this week. The nerve. The unmitigated gall! Doesn’t he realize that he dumped delicate negotiations in the lap of Jean Afterman, his assistant GM, who just went ahead and signed Melky Cabrera for a million dollars more than he’s worth? Doesn’t he realize that a fan’s GM should never, ever go on vacation, the same way our doctors and dentists should never leave town?
What if there’s a baseball emergency? Like if Andy Pettitte changes his mind and wants to come back? Like if Posada has a setback in his rehab and we need another catcher? Like if the Jays suddenly and inexplicably decide to sell us Roy Halladay? Yes, I’m sure Cashman has a BlackBerry, but if he’s really, truly on vacation he’ll probably turn it off.
So where is he?

He could be renting a house in the Caribbean, having a second honeymoon with his wife, Mary.
He could be playing golf at a fabulous course here in California.
(I’m just assuming that’s a golf shirt. Why else would he wear it?)
He could be hanging out in Tampa with Hankenstein – sort of a pre-spring training vacation.
He could be skiing in Utah or Colorado.
He could be practicing his standup routine at some borscht belt place in the Catskills.
(“A shortstop walks into a bar and…..”
Or – and I know this is a stretch – he could be in Washington, D.C., hiding under this.
(The hat, not the person.)
Or maybe he’s simply holed up at home in Connecticut with the phones disconnected, spending quality time with his young children.
“Daddy, you gave all that money to CC, AJ and Tex,” says one of the kids as Cash is putting him to bed. “Are the Yankees rich?”
“We’re comfortable,” Cash answers. “Whenever we need something, it’s there for us.”
“Then there is a Santa Claus?”
Cashman pauses, wondering if he should tell the child the truth. 
“No, son,” he decides. “There isn’t. He’s just a fairy tale.”
“But I saw him! I did! I did!”
“That’s enough now. I have to go check in with my office. They don’t know where I am.” Cashman tucks the boy under the covers and kisses him goodnight.
Little Cashman smiles as he drifts off to sleep. He knows there’s a Santa. He saw him the night he came over to the house. It wasn’t a fairy tale or a dream or any of that. It was a real Santa. A Yankee Santa. A Santa who promised to win a championship in 2009.

I Think I’m In Love With Hal Steinbrenner


I know, I know. I hardly know Harold Z. Steinbrenner except from seeing him in the occasional photo and from watching video of today’s press conference. But did you hear what he said? Did you? Because when he was asked about bidding on free agents, he uttered the statement, “We’re going after what we need,” and I was absolutely hooked. He even said the word “spend” more than once. How could I not love him? He and I want the same thing out of life: a championship for the New York Yankees. We’re totally compatible.
Naturally, there are issues we have yet to work out. I’m sure he has questions about me and I certainly have some about him.
Like why he looks more like
than he does like
who, by the way, is 12 years older than Hal. What’s up with that?
What does the “Z” in Harold Z. Steinbrenner stand for anyway?
And how did he survive Culver Military Academy, the same college prep/military school that his father and Hank went to? Especially when you consider that the head of the school looks like quite the taskmaster.
O.K. Hal and I may not be compatible in every respect. (I went to a regular old high school.) He shies away from the spotlight and I hog it. He has thick, wavy John Edwards hair and mine is long, blonde and tends to frizz in humidity. He’s a billionaire who jets around keeping an eye on his “holdings” and I’m an impoverished writer toiling away on my computer in the solitude of my office.
But we have the Yankees in common! With a new house to move into soon!
Be still my heart.
I have to say I feel as close to Hal right now as two people can be.
In time I think we’ll be inseparable.
In fact, maybe I’ll fly to Tampa and –
Uh-oh. Here comes my husband! I’d better shut this down right now! Goodbye, Hal. It’s been fun.