And not just because every fan would worship at his feet. He needs to be a Yankee because he’d get to star in better commercials. I mean nothing against the Mariners but he’d be able to endorse cars like Jeter or suits like Mo. He wouldn’t have to participate in ads like this, although he does seem very sweet.
The only thing I can’t figure out is why does the commercial feature the Rockies? Is Interleague play that big a deal in Seattle?
That’s what I’m wondering after reading that the Yankees have added Andruw Jones to their list of possible right-handed hitters to play this year’s version of Marcus Thames.
My first thought was why didn’t we just re-sign Thames? Because he can’t field the ball in the outfield? Neither can the other names that have been bandied about: Manny Ramirez and Vlad Guerrero. Would any of these guys settle for a role on the bench? And even if they would and their price tags weren’t too high, would I want them?
What I want, for the 150th time, is a starting pitcher whose name is Andy Pettitte, plus another guy whose name is Felix Hernandez. Is that too much to ask? Here’s what I’m offering Brian Cashman if he can make just one of those options happen:
* The chocolate cake I baked for my friend Rhonda’s Thanksgiving.
* The chicken and barley stew I cooked for Michael the other night.
* The bottle of Syrah that was served at the New Year’s Eve party I went to.
OK, clearly those aren’t that enticing. I need to step it up. How about:
* My Porsche Boxster S. It’s old but it’s still a beauty.
* My book collection. Romantic novels might not be Cash’s thing, but so what.
* My TVs. Sure he already has some, but who doesn’t need more TVs?
* My husband. Yes, I’d miss Michael, but sacrifices are what being a fan is all about.
Really thoughtful of the Yankees’ GM to put me on his holiday cards list this year – a card featuring our starting rotation for 2011. And what surprises his card contained! Who knew, for example, that Phil Hughes had “lead singer” in him even with CC around or that AJ was such a wild man (well, we kind of knew that). Also, what a clever way of letting me know that Pettitte has decided to pitch another year for us. But the biggest surprise of all was seeing Felix Hernandez in the band. I had a hunch we wouldn’t be stuck with Mitre filling out the rotation or even Nova; Cash had much more lofty ambitions and I’m very grateful for that. Rock on, Yankees.
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Who? I mean it’s possible that Lee will sign somewhere else, it really is. So if not him, then who else? That’s what everybody seems to be asking today so I’ll join the discussion – only I warn you: I won’t make any sense. Why should reality get in the way of a good blog post? The truth is, Lee isn’t the best non-Yankees pitcher in baseball; he’s just the best free agent non-Yankees pitcher in baseball. Which means that we have to look at those who aren’t free agents and would, therefore, require a miraculous, impossible-to-pull-off trade. Here are those I covet, regardless of availability or practicality.
1) The Freak
So what if he just won a World Series for the Giants? Maybe he’s tired of the West Coast, not to mention the color orange.
Yeah, he’s got some mileage on him, but I’ve made no secret of my affection for him and maybe he misses the American League East.
3) King Felix
It’s true that his team hasn’t been a contender and he’s looked out of sorts on occasion, but he’s only 24 – plenty of time for him to mature into the game’s best pitcher.
4) The Zackster
He’s already said he won’t come to New York, but that doesn’t mean he means it. And maybe CC and Amber will find him an historic old house in rural New Jersey with a barn and horses and it’ll feel just like Kansas, as in Missouri.
That’s what Girardi would call Justin Verlander if he migrated to the Bronx. Sure, he’s the ace of the Tigers’ staff, but wouldn’t it be less pressure to be a #2 pitcher?
Those are my top five choices in case Cliff Lee doesn’t work out. Did I miss somebody? (This is why I don’t play fantasy baseball. I always miss somebody.)
OK, I have a few more. Words, I mean. Hernandez was so dominant in striking out 11 batters that I almost turned off the TV after the sixth inning. Why bother watching? A.J. wasn’t a lot of laughs. Neither was A-Rod, who appeared for a split second before re-injuring his calf. And I’m tired of watching Cervelli not hit. Can’t Kevin Long work some magic on him? Oh, never mind. I know I’m supposed to just tip my cap to Hernandez and call him the Yankees’ daddy.
Why are you frowning in your official Yankees photo?
Why have you taken the 8th inning role you were handed and done nothing with it?
Why did you ruin Javy Vazquez’s fantastic performance against the Mariners tonight?
Why couldn’t you hold a one-run lead?
Why did you give King Felix the opportunity to celebrate on the mound?
Why did you make me so mad I almost broke my non-3D TV?
While it’s true that the offense was anemic, except for Nick Swisher’s lonely little homer, that the home plate umpire made a couple of atrocious calls, and that the Yankees can’t win every game they play, I’m pinning this loss directly on you. Thanks.
I hate it when the Yankees are shut out. I hate it when they don’t get on base. I hate it when they look anemic with every swing. I hate it when Jeter says, “Sometimes you just have to tip your cap to the pitcher,” because sometimes the pitcher is a nobody who’s simply had the good fortune to catch the Yanks on a bad day. But tonight? I’m tipping my cap to Felix Hernandez.
He made everybody look spazzy. I mean, two hits? Really? And he was so efficient about it. The guy had eleven strikeouts and three walks over nine innings. Cliff Lee pitched a completo last night, but the Yankees offense had chances. Not in this game. Not after the first inning. Of course, it’s hard to mount a comeback against anybody, let alone a pitcher of King Felix’s caliber, when your starter gives up two homers, your lefty specialist gives up one and your long reliever gives up another. Franklin Gutierrez left the game with an upset stomach, and our pitching gave me one too.
But here’s the thing. We’re in first place – by a thread, but still – and it’s a whole lot better than being in the cellar like the Mariners.