Tagged: Congress

Breaking News – Clemens Is “Clean”

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With the baseball world’s collective attention focused on which teams will sign which free agents, many people have forgotten about The Rocket’s lawsuits and countersuits to clear himself of the steroids taint.
To recap…
First, he angrily denied the charge that he was a juicer to Mike Wallace on “60 Minutes.”
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Then, he and his lawyer staged a press conference where he issued more denials and looked very thirsty.
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Finally, the pitcher performed on the ultimate Big Stage – the floor of Congress – and maintained over and over that he had never used ‘roids.
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He pledged his innocence, but wasn’t particularly convincing when facing down his interrogators.
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Since then, his reputation has been in tatters; most people believe that Brian McNamee did, in fact, inject him with banned substances.  But the investigations have never found the smoking gun that would either nail Clemens or exonerate him.
Until now.
In a stunning feat of reportage, She-Fan has uncovered long-buried evidence proving beyond a reasonable doubt that Roger Clemens is clean.
Clean as a whistle.
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Clean as a new penny.
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Clean as….
Why don’t I just show you. I think you’ll agree that those who condemned him were dead wrong.