Well, he’s not getting five more years or even four, so I won’t read anything into the number of fingers he’s holding up in that photo. But is he coming back for one more season? Or is the marriage over? Finished? Kaput? One day the media says his return to the Yanks is “inevitable” and the next they say it’s “doubtful.” What’s a fan supposed to believe?
Will he take a pay cut and once again frolic with his pinstriped pals?
Or will he feel slighted and go west for a reunion with his old manager?
Or will he do the unthinkable and sign with the Dark Side?
Or will he come to the conclusion that it’s time to hang it up?
When will it all be revealed?
I decided to go back to Susan Miller, the astrologer who correctly predicted Mark Teixeira’s future, and take a look at Andy’s horoscope for December. He was born on June 15th, which makes him a Gemini.
Since December is just about over, I’ll focus on the last part of her forecast.
“A new lucrative agreement will surface in one of your financial houses on December 27.”
Really? So either Brian Cashman upped the ante or some other team made an offer?
“Talks will continue into the first half of January.”
And this new lucrative agreement won’t be announced until after the first of the year?
“Even when the talks are all said and done, it could take weeks or even months to see your profits, but make no mistake; you will be richer for it.”
Which could simply mean that Andy needs to pass a physical and that he’s not getting a signing bonus.
I’m still not clear, so I’m going straight to the video. Maybe I’ll find a clue somewhere.
O.K. I found a clip of Andy telling Michael Kay he wants to come back to the Yankees in ’09, wants to pitch in the new Stadium, wants to set up housekeeping again in beautiful Westchester County, where my mother will be waiting eagerly for his return.
But then I found another clip, and now the answer is clear: Andy wants a career as a pitch man, not a pitcher. Good luck with that. We’ll miss you.
So much speculation surrounding the future of Mark Teixeira. The Red Sox have said they’re out, but are they? The Angels, Nationals and Orioles have said they’re in, but are they? The Yankees have said they aren’t even making an offer, but are they? Teixeira himself has said he’ll make his decision by Christmas, but will he?
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? I’M SICK OF WAITING, PEOPLE!
Since the media has been useless in ferreting out the truth, I consulted someone who’d be able to divine it: astrologer Susan Miller. I went on her web site, astrologyzone.com, and read Teixeira’s horoscope for December. Talk about an eye-opener.
Tex was born on April 11th, which makes him an Aries – the Ram.
Here are the highlights of Susan’s forecast….
“Santa’s most vital gift for you will be to bring the most outstanding career news you’ve ever heard at holiday time – or ever!”
Most outstanding career news ever? That suggests Tex will get the $195 million he’s seeking.
“A major promotion or job switch to a powerful, exciting new position should arrive just after the new moon December 27.”
Job switch? That indicates the Angels won’t be Tex’s destination, since he’s already been their first baseman. So long, Halos.
“Starting in late December you will have Jupiter, Mercury, Pluto, Mars, the sun, and the new moon crowded in your solar tenth house of professional prestige and promotion, the part of your chart that brings all sorts of acclaim to your reputation.”
Prestige? No offense, but that takes care of the Nationals and Orioles. Bye bye, you two.
And then there’s the acclaim to your reputation bit. Which team has had more acclaim: Red Sox or Yankees? I know, I know. The Red Sox have won the World Series twice in four years and the Yankees haven’t won it since 2000. But over the course of history, the Yanks have won it 26 times. That’s a whole lot of acclaim. See ya, Boston.
Which doesn’t mean the Yankees will give Tex the contract terms he’s asking for. Eight years? That would put him in pinstripes until 2016, and the Yanks are unlikely to agree to such a long-term deal. But let’s see what Susan Miller has to say.
“Having six heavenly bodies crowded into that lofty part of your chart will be a huge competitive advantage and is so exceptional that you’ll not have the same kind of cosmic help again until 2019.“
Holy smokes. The Yankees will tie Tex up for ELEVEN years.
I wasn’t expecting that.
Do I want Mark Teixeira? Of course.
But do I want him until he can hardly get through an interview with Michael Kay?
No. I don’t. Be careful what you wish for.