Scared you, didn’t I. Sorry, but in my continuing effort to explore the nature of Tex’s two-month-plus hitting slump, I delved into the world of astrology to check out his horoscope for June. Turns out he was born on April 11th, which makes him an Aries.
According to Susan Miller of Astrology Zone, Tex is in for quite an interesting month – and, possibly, so are Yankee fans. Here’s what she has to say about Aries…
“You are now in the process of a huge life change. Most of the emphasis in the coming weeks will be your evolving career status and, by early July, your home.”
See? This is where I started to get nervous. Is Tex leaving New York or just buying a new house in the Tri-State area?
“Expect a tough eclipse on June 26th. It appears that your future will entail working in a very new arena.”
Uh-oh. A new arena, as in stadium? So maybe he is getting traded? Who’s got the money to pick up his salary? Nah, can’t be.
“The eclipse will highlight your career, so something is about to happen with a VIP or your standing in the company or industry – a shift you are not expecting.”
Yikes. Is Cashman getting fired? Girardi? Kevin Long?
“You may be promoted, downsized or moved to a new department. You won’t see this coming. You may even need to move to a new house by July.”
Moved to a new department? Like his slump will get so bad they’ll make him the traveling secretary? I don’t know what to make of all this, except for this final piece of Tex’s June horoscope…
“Sometimes an eclipse will affect health, so you may have to take steps to protect your bones and teeth.”
Okay. Teeth I can live with. Maybe Tex just needs to get braces like Girardi. Whew.
So much speculation surrounding the future of Mark Teixeira. The Red Sox have said they’re out, but are they? The Angels, Nationals and Orioles have said they’re in, but are they? The Yankees have said they aren’t even making an offer, but are they? Teixeira himself has said he’ll make his decision by Christmas, but will he?
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? I’M SICK OF WAITING, PEOPLE!
Since the media has been useless in ferreting out the truth, I consulted someone who’d be able to divine it: astrologer Susan Miller. I went on her web site, astrologyzone.com, and read Teixeira’s horoscope for December. Talk about an eye-opener.
Tex was born on April 11th, which makes him an Aries – the Ram.
Here are the highlights of Susan’s forecast….
“Santa’s most vital gift for you will be to bring the most outstanding career news you’ve ever heard at holiday time – or ever!”
Most outstanding career news ever? That suggests Tex will get the $195 million he’s seeking.
“A major promotion or job switch to a powerful, exciting new position should arrive just after the new moon December 27.”
Job switch? That indicates the Angels won’t be Tex’s destination, since he’s already been their first baseman. So long, Halos.
“Starting in late December you will have Jupiter, Mercury, Pluto, Mars, the sun, and the new moon crowded in your solar tenth house of professional prestige and promotion, the part of your chart that brings all sorts of acclaim to your reputation.”
Prestige? No offense, but that takes care of the Nationals and Orioles. Bye bye, you two.
And then there’s the acclaim to your reputation bit. Which team has had more acclaim: Red Sox or Yankees? I know, I know. The Red Sox have won the World Series twice in four years and the Yankees haven’t won it since 2000. But over the course of history, the Yanks have won it 26 times. That’s a whole lot of acclaim. See ya, Boston.
Which doesn’t mean the Yankees will give Tex the contract terms he’s asking for. Eight years? That would put him in pinstripes until 2016, and the Yanks are unlikely to agree to such a long-term deal. But let’s see what Susan Miller has to say.
“Having six heavenly bodies crowded into that lofty part of your chart will be a huge competitive advantage and is so exceptional that you’ll not have the same kind of cosmic help again until 2019.“
Holy smokes. The Yankees will tie Tex up for ELEVEN years.
I wasn’t expecting that.
Do I want Mark Teixeira? Of course.
But do I want him until he can hardly get through an interview with Michael Kay?
No. I don’t. Be careful what you wish for.