I know this is an old video from the All Star break, but since Huuuuughes is making his big start tomorrow night in the Bronx I thought I’d resurrect it. I can’t decide if my favorite part is his mother saying how much he weighed at birth (yikes) or his collection of bobble head dolls.
Mr. and Mrs. Hughes were at the All Star game in Anaheim and Phil didn’t pitch so well. I have no idea if they’re planning to be at the game tomorrow night, but if they’re bad luck I hope they stay home and watch their boy on that nice TV in their house. Game 3 is a must win, as far as I’m concerned. I have no interest in playing a fourth game in this series, so we need to shut the door on the Twins – shut it and lock it.
1) The American League won again. (Duh)
2) Obama looked cool in his White Sox jacket but threw like a girl, complete with an overbite.
3) The Fox camera crew forgot to show us where the throw landed, so we were forced to guess.
4) No celebrity is more ubiquitous than Sheryl Crow. (Yes, I know she’s from Missouri.)
5) Roy Halladay gave up three runs and has a higher ERA than Kei Igawa, confirming that an even-up trade is not out of the question.
6) Tim Lincecum’s hair is distracting.
7) He earned my eternal wrath by hitting Jeter with a pitch.
8) Carl Crawford can play for my team any day.
9) Curtis Granderson talks as fast as he runs.
10) Since the first run of the night was scored by Jeter, it was only fitting that the last out was notched by Mo.
After the festivities were over, it dawned on me that there are no Yankees games until Friday. That’s two whole days/nights during which I’ll have too much time on my hands. Never a good thing.
This Just In….
The results of a groundbreaking study of randomly selected baseball fans strongly indicates that the 2009 Home Run Derby not only relieved the symptoms of insomnia but promoted a deep and restful sleep.
Scientists cited several reasons for the Derby’s unexpectedly soporific effect on humans:
1) the lackluster performances by the participants as compared to the 2008 contest.
2) the seemingly endless multi-rounds format.
3) the “back, back, back” from ESPN’s Chris Berman.
4) the realization that the event was basically batting practice with a lot more media.
That said, the group conducting the study was quick to praise the Derby’s winner, Prince Fielder, and issued congratulations to him, his team and his family.
The group further stated that the 2009 Home Run Derby was equal to, if not better than, the following remedies for sleeplessness:
watching grass grow
watching paint dry
Upon learning of the group’s findings, Major League Baseball immediately contacted She-Fan seeking ways the Derby could keep people awake during future events. I was flattered to be consulted about such a weighty matter, and offered a few suggestions.
“First, guarantee the viewing public that a Bronx Bomber is participating,” I said. “Yankee fans will be eager to see him succeed; Yankee haters will be on the edge of their seats hoping he’ll fail. If he’s a polarizing Yankee, so much the better.”
“Second, make the contest more challenging by blindfolding the hitters.”
“Third, encourage the hitters to take the rivalry seriously in order for a brawl to ensue.”
“And finally, consider bringing back home runs hitters from the Great Beyond. A Derby that pits Ruth, Gehrig and Foxx against each other would be incredibly entertaining for those of us who never got to see them play.”
Bud Selig seemed intrigued by my ideas and said he would give them serious thought. He also asked me to stand by in case the All-Star Game turned out to be equally dull as dishwater. Then he pressed his palms together and prayed that the National League would win in extra innings.
Yes, of course I wanted the Yankees to end the first half of the season on a high note.
But it was not to be. Instead, the Yanks were swept by the Halos. The cold, hard truth was everywhere I looked.
In the Daily News…
Angels bedevil Yankees again, beat CC Sabathia for series sweep
In the Post…
YANKEES FALL TO ANGELS, 5-4
BOMBERS STUMBLE INTO ALL-STAR BREAK AFTER THREE-GAME SWEEP
In the New York Times…
Yankees Enter Break With Whimper After Sweep by Angels
I couldn’t escape the fact that CC didn’t deliver as our ace. He wasn’t terrible by any means, but he labored through a tough fourth inning, finally getting replaced by Hughes in the seventh. What was he thinking? That he missed Cervelli? That he wished he could be back in the National League? That he was dying for a porterhouse or six?
Tex may be headed to St. Louis for the All-Star game, but he’ll be taking some baggage with him. And I’m not talking about this kind.
I’m talking about the fact that he had “a quiet series,” as the Angels announcer discreetly put it. He came up in the seventh with bases loaded, took Lackey (who was at 105 pitches and on the ropes) to a full count, and struck out.
He was up again in the ninth, with the Yanks only down by a run, and flied out. He wasn’t quiet in this series. He was on mute.
And then there was A-Rod. He did not have a good day. Never mind the foul pop up that almost hit him in the head after he couldn’t catch it. He, too, batted in the seventh and dashed my hopes of a rally by hitting into a double play. I mean, that really hurt. So did his strikeout to end the whole fiasco.
The weekend left me reeling. After the game, the players all said the equivalent of: “It’s just one series and we’ll come back strong.” Right. Then off they went to live their lives for a few days. What about me? How was I supposed to forgive and forget?
And then I knew. I would block out all mention of the Yankees for awhile and think about “Bruno.” I saw the Sasha Baron Cohen movie earlier today and laughed so hard I’m surprised you didn’t hear me. If you weren’t into “Borat,” forget this one; it’s even more obscene and absurd. But if you like comedy that offends absolutely everyone, this is the way to spend two hours.