Fine. Keep Torturing Me, Yankees.

It was bad enough to have to read that the Yankees are considering Freddy Garcia and Jeff Francis and even Bartolo Colon for the rotation. But now I’m supposed to add Kevin Millwood and Jeremy Bonderman to the list, according to LoHud? My reaction is the same as it’s been this entire off-season: to hold my ears and go, “Lalalalalalalalalala.” 
I was a good fan when we got Javy Vazquez last year. I pretended like it was a smart move. I said all the right things and cheered him on and acted pained when it was implied that he didn’t have what it took to pitch in New York.
Before that, I put on a brave face when we picked up Sidney Ponson. “He’ll get his act together once he’s in pinstripes,” I said out loud.
I even rooted for Kei Igawa.
But enough is enough. I don’t want any of the starters mentioned in the first paragraph of this post – all of whom qualify as other teams’ stale leftovers.
I don’t want reclamation projects, either. I want pitchers with talent. Yeah, talent. Any kind of talent. Maybe this guy’s available?


  1. antonella

    Jane, if we get Jeff Francis.. I think I’ll put myself on depression meds because that man made me nervous when I watched the Rockies.. & I’m not even a big Rockies fan.. they’re just my NL team.. We don’t need him.. Getting him is like getting Javy Vazquez back..

    I know there’s a starting pitcher in Venezuela / Dominican Republic that’s ready to get signed.. I’m positive.. *makes some calls*

  2. Jane Heller

    Not a very promising scouting report on Francis, Antonella. I don’t like pitchers who make me nervous. Yes, let’s make some long distance calls since it appears the Yankees won’t.

  3. antonella

    He’s not great.. heck.. he’s not even good! Wasn’t he injured during the second half of last season? I’m really trying to have fail on Cashman, but he’s making it SO hard.

  4. mlbmom

    This off season has been pure AGONY for me!!! I think Cash had all his eggs in one basket with Cliffy, and now finds himself with nothing…unless….now that we have an extra (elderly, borderline, possibly productive) outfielder in the mix….could Cashman be grooming Swish to be the fifth starter???

    COME BACK ANDY!!! GIVE US SOME HOPE, MAN!! It’s only 1,760.3 miles from Deerfield Texas to Yankee Stadium. I’ll buy you pens and pinstripe paper…you can write letters to your family. Surely Hank and Hal could spot you a plane ticket now and then. Get skype!! There’s always face time on your IPhone!!


  5. Jane Heller

    Yup, Antonella. Francis was injured. That’s why we’d be taking a chance on him. And yes, I’m sure Felix must have brothers and cousins and second cousins who could pitch. We need to shake out the family tree!

    I know, Wendy. It hasn’t been fun, especially after the the amazing off-season when the goodies kept coming. Or even last year when we got Granderson to kick things off. I love your ideas for Andy. Skype is the perfect solution. LOL.

    I remember a time when Bonderman seemed unhittable, Paul. Those Tigers were very tough and he was a big reason why. But that was years ago. What happened to him?

    I think Colon was the one who started the rumor, Jeff. He’s been pitching in the Dominican (I think that’s where) and told media there the Yankees (among other teams) were interested. But it might be a figment of his imagination. I hope so.


    “Got that Ro-jo workin’!
    Got that Ro-jo workin’!
    Got that Ro-jo workin’, but it just don’t work on you…”
    Aww, I couldn’t resist. That’s a parody of a Muddy Waters classic…anybody out there know any BLUES music?…oh, nevermind…
    Don’t really wanna waste the angst over the Penful of Pig Pitchers available to wallow in our trough next season. Que ser-oink, ser-oink…whoever will be, will be…oh heck, prob’ly nobody remembers Doris Day anymore either…
    Mostly today, I wanna SHOUT OUT a big CONGRATS to my man Bert Blyleven. Think I’ve told you that back in 2002, I attended an All-Star Fantasy Camp (mostly Twins & Bosox players), and Bert was there all week. What a GREAT, friendly, funny, and deserving guy. He’s spent many a year as the “color guy” for Twins radio broadcasts — the play-by-play guy was a teammate of mine that week — and we did have some fun. Few pitchers ever deserved it more; all who saw and who know say that Bert had one of the BEST curveballs EVER. Heck, if he weren’t older than ME, I’d sign him up for our Yanks!!! He’s the first Dutchman to make the HOF, BTW…and also a shoutout to Robby Alomar, too, another personal fave who guided my 2nd Fave Ballclup to their only two WS titles…what a second sacker…!
    So typical of Bert — ESPN asked him how he reacted when he first got the news — his first comment was, “I had to change my pants.” Way to go, man…thinkin’ of ya…!

  7. Jane Heller

    I do remember your story about Blyleven, Dave. How cool that you met and got to spend time with a bona fide HOF-er. He sounds like a nice guy. Alomar was an amazing second baseman. I just wish it would be Donnie Baseball’s turn in the Hall someday, but I doubt it’ll happen.

  8. phan52

    I have to believe that Cashman didn’t do his homework on Cliff Lee because he obviously felt that all it would take is dollars and the ‘brand’.
    I can remember when Phillies phans were excited to get the likes of Kevin Millwood. No offense meant Jane, as you have one of the more interesting blogs on MLB. But You guys are so spoiled and I find it interesting how you are dumbfounded when things don’t work out your way. well, welcome to our world Yankees fans. Not to worry though, because it’s not like you’re the Pirates or Royals. The Yankees are still a force to be reckoned with, and always will be.

  9. Jane Heller

    Very true that we’re spoiled, phan52, but be honest. Would you be excited to get Kevin Millwood now that you have Lee, Halladay, Oswalt and Hamels? Nobody’s surprised that Lee decided not to take the Yankees’ offer. We all had a feeling he didn’t want to come to NY. Disappointed is different than dumbfounded.

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