At the Break: My State of the Universe Address

On the eve of the All Star break, I thought it was the perfect time to assess the state of the Yankees Universe and discuss what needs to be done to insure a successful second half. Here goes…
“With the best record in baseball, the Yankees are already on a pace to win it all – again.”
“Our starting rotation is strong, Cliff Lee or no Cliff Lee.”
“The Captain is perking up at the plate. He just has to stop swinging at first pitches.”
“Swisher is a better #2 than Nick Johnson ever would have been.”
“Tex is finally heating up – for real – and his defense has been outstanding.”
“A-Rod keeps knocking in runs. And HR #600 will quickly lead to #601, #602, #603, etc.”
“Is there really anything Robinson Cano can’t do this season?”
“Having Posada healthy means that Cervelli can go back to being a good backup.”
“Granderson has been somewhat disappointing so far at the plate. More productivity would go a long way toward making people stop wishing AJax would suddenly re-appear.”
“Marcus Thames isn’t useless after all. It turns out he’s a decent DH/pinch hitter.”
“Brett Gardner is the most exciting Yankee in years. He has to keep getting on base though.”
“Mo is Mo – a precious asset never to be taken for granted.”
“Dave Robertson has pitched better lately, but more consistency would be helpful.”
“Chan Ho Park is OK for one inning maybe – but that is all.”
“Damaso Marte doesn’t scare me as much as he did early in the season.”
“Joba….Well, if Joe keeps running him out there in the 8th I’ll need a defibrillator. He must be fixed or I won’t make it through the rest of the season.”
“Chad Gaudin is not Alfredo Aceves. Alfredo Aceves is no longer Alfredo Aceves. Therefore, we need a better long man.”
“We need another reliable arm out of the pen, period – someone not named Jonathan Albaladejo.”
“We need a bat off the bench. I love Ramiro Pena and Colin Curtis, but are they the players I want to see pinch hitting in a big game? Nah.”
“We need better communication between the Yankees and the media when it comes to player injuries. No more ‘Yes, he’s hurt. No, he’s not hurt.’ Just tell us.”
“It’s not necessary to have the grounds crew dance to ‘YMCA’ anymore. It really isn’t.”
“Where’s Hank Steinbrenner? And why isn’t he firing off Steinbrennerisms this year?”
“Why can’t YES re-hire David Cone and phase out John ‘the Snooze’ Flaherty?”
“We need to keep Dave Eiland from ever leaving the team again.”
“And finally, there should be more Yankees merchandise for she-fans – from Yankees lipstick to Yankees nail polish (the same color Jorge wears) and especially Yankees hair products. I mean, who wouldn’t want pinstriped hair?”


That concludes my address. God Bless America and God Bless the New York Yankees.


  1. Jane Heller

    Flaherty seems like a good guy, A.J., and he has experience and knowledge. But his voice puts me to sleep, what can I say? I don’t know what the Yankees’ record was last year at this time, but I think you’re right and they’re ahead of their pace – all the more amazing given the injuries.

  2. latinyankeerebel

    I agree in everything you just mentioned, speciallu about more she-fan merchandise! I have been going crazy looking for a cool Yankee-blue nail polish (OPI, I just gave you the name of your new color!!) and I haven’t have luck!! grrr..
    I’m kind of lost, whatever happened to Nick Johnson? Injured… again in DL??? since when? (sorry, I have been completely dettached from my favorite men, I think it was my mom’s prayers being answered, she doesn’t like me being into baseball… not ladylike, she says….BLAH!)

  3. Jane Heller

    Yankee blue nail polish should definitely be available through OPI, Lillie! They have every other color, so why not? Yes, Nick Johnson injured his wrist a while back and has been on the DL. He had a setback the other day and is supposed to consult with the Yankees doctor or maybe he already has. He’s not playing any time soon. Tell your mother there are tons of female fans and we’re ladylike (most of the time).:)

  4. latinyankeerebel

    we’re are all ladylike, except when the Yankees are involved! hahahahaha! I love my Yankees! Check this out, my dad is going to the Yankees vs Red Suxs series in NY in august… guess who is not taking???? I’m sooooo mad! I’m trying to convince him otherwise.

  5. lenn23

    Definitely bench and bullpen are biggest problems. I think the bench can be straightened out since a Hinske or Dye bat are readily available. Don’t know about the bullpen as much. I’m still scarred by Joba’s performance Saturday night. Girardi might still trust him but I don’t think I could ever trust him again…sniff.


    Wonderful “address” Jane! If only the politicians could be as accurate and to the point!
    Cano is turning into a baseball god, Swisher is definitely the man in the 2 hole (wasn’t he so cute in his thank you to the fans?!), and yea Tex! lenn23 is right – Hinske is available again and he did a great job for us last year. Joba is really wearing on me, too. I was so relieved yesterday when Gaudin came into the game in the 8th. Even a 7 run lead might not be enough for Joba these days!
    I like the OPI suggestion. It would come in “handy” when we return to the World Series! lol! 😉 Kathleen


    Thanks for adding the picture I sent you to your previous entry, Jane. The Yankees did a nice job on their pre-game tribute and I’m sure they will do something huge at Old Timers’ Day. And this morning’s news programs are doing nicely as well.

    Your assessments and recommendations are valid – except for Flaherty, I think. He was much funnier yesterday than he usually is – I think it might have something to do with the absense of Michael Kay.

    A long reliever is vital. As we go to the second half of the season, we have to stop expecting our starters to go 7 or 8 innings every 5 days, especially because we are going to need them to be ready for the post season. And Posada definitely needs to be rested and healthy and his bat needs to wake up consistently.

    Our town’s free concerts continue tonight with the great opera singer, Michael Amante. Looking forward to it.

  8. ladyjane303

    Right on the money, as always. Don’t have much to add to the comments on the team, so I will give my 2 cents worth on the announcers – give Bob Lorenz and Jack Curry more air time! They were a breath of fresh air over the weekend once Singleton went off to do the 3-D commentary (did anyone other than the beat writers get to see the game in 3-D?), and even Flash was a little looser (agree with you, Diane – Kay not being there made a difference). And as much Leiter and O’Neill as we can get is a good thing, too.
    Finally, a big salute to Bob Sheppard, who will always be synonymous with Yankee Stadium and a part of Yankee history.


    Ms. President Jane…fellow members of Bloggerdom…
    Yankee fans everywhere…and the American people…
    Greetings, and many thanx to the President for her wisdom and farsighted commentary. As a Maryland representative, may I say that we are well pleased with the progress in this 2010 season. Some setbacks, of course, but a fine final first-half week transpired as I sat in my vacation condo in the Virginia hills…grateful that our Bombers avoided the Real heat wave, and generated some heat of their own!
    Knowing not of the future, may I first bestow a headnod and deep bow to our past…to the irreplaceable Mr. Sheppard, who broadcast his first game on my sister’s 4th birthday and has been a part of our lives (and reveries) forever…what a marvelous lineup he has to announce in the Field of Dreams today…!
    And on that note, Ms. President, I shall conclude my time on the stump, wishing for all good tidings for you and our men in the months to come.
    Your Public Servant,

  10. ooaooa

    I mentioned to Michael Kay on the 4th of July my dislike for Flaherty and he was surprised. I feel he is a nobody who just happened to be on a couple of good teams. He indicated Flaherty is going no where but he did say Coney is probably coming back. I stongly disagree about Jonathan Abs. He deserves a shot based on his outstanding work in Scranton. He cannot do worse than the pampered pet Joba. As I previously said, Joba should be sent down to mature. Nick Johnson will not play again for the Yankees–for sure. Another reliever is eminent, trust me.
    You did a good job, 7 of 8, last week. Now on to the AL East schedule.

  11. peggy3

    Good Morning Jane & Fellow Baseball Fans…

    If only politicians could be so concise and to the point …people would actually listen to what they had to say. Of course …it ain’t ever gonna happen …lol.

    I was thinking the same thing about Albie ….lots of good things about him coming from the minor league reports and how he’s changed his pitching style. I wouldn’t mind giving him one more try …if he doesn’t cut the mustard that would be it for Jonny boy.

    I’m happy with the way the first half turned out. Not so happy with how Tex, Alex, Javy started out but I knew they would turn it around (yes…I even had faith in Javy ..I always liked him). I’m very happy how the other guys stepped up without missing a beat while the above trio found their way…Robbie, Swish, Hughes, Gardner, Cisco and the other roll players. I’m looking forward to an even more exciting second half. We have a chance to have five 15 game winners on our team which would be totally amazing.
    If Joba can just straighten his head out while on the ASG
    break that would be awesome. If not someone else has
    to take over that 8th inning spot. Anyway …here’s to a great 2nd half on the road to #28…

    Diane…great pic with Mr. Sheppard. You were so lucky to
    get to meet him. I hope the Yankees dedicate this season to him and win it all for this very special man …

    Go Yankees 2010 !!!!

  12. peggy3

    Just read that Albie was named IL Pitcher of the Week ..set a few records for saves in Scranton too. He’s worth another look …wouldn’t you think?

    Go Yankees 2010 !!!!

  13. Jane Heller

    Your dad is going to that series and he’s not taking you, Lillie? That’s just cruel!!!! I think you need to beg just a little more.

    Thanks, Becky. I’ll say AMEN to myself. lol.

    I guess we could pick up a Hinske or a Dye, Len. I remember when Cashman got David Justice around this time. He was supposedly washed up, but what a difference maker he was. I’m still scarred by Joba’s last outing too, but I could be un-scarred if he pitches well the next time.

    But what would Dan Haren do for the Yankees? Isn’t he a starter, Paul? We need a reliever. Well, unless he’s willing to be a long reliever.

    Glad you liked the “address,” Kathleen. I like all the points you made too. Hinske did a pretty good job for us off the bench last time, but does he have anything left?

    You’re welcome about the photo, Diane. Thanks for sending it. How lucky that you got to meet the Voice of God! The whole subject of broadcasters is such a subjective one. I’m sorry I didn’t get to hear the looser Flaherty yesterday (I was stuck with the Seattle feed). I know he’s knowledgeable and articulate. He just doesn’t make the game come alive for me and I think we could do better. Yes, definitely, on the subject of a long reliever. Our starters have been amazing the way they’ve gone deep into games, but that can’t last forever. We need help. Maybe Mitre will provide it and maybe he won’t.

    Thank you for standing and applauding, Jeff. I was worried someone would shout out from the gallery: “You lie!” lol. Yeah, Nick who? It’s almost as if Cashman had never signed him.

    I didn’t get to see the games that Lorenz has done, ladyjane. I heard he was really good though. Jack Curry is my new fave. I LOVE him. His interviews are great and he’s articulate and smart in the booth, plus he’s got a sly sense of humor. If YES gave him more to do, I’d be thrilled.

    Greetings to you, Dave. I hope you had a good vacation and that all is well is your world. I’m glad you were able to make it back in time for my “address.”

    I know Abs has been terrific in AAA, John. I’d certainly be willing to give him a shot. I just have this feeling he’s like Shelley Duncan – a guy who excels in the minors but can’t quite make it in the bigs. But we’ll see. So, after the ASG, the Yanks will return to the east coast and you’ll have to pick up my slack and watch over them.

    Yup, Abs is worth a look, Peggy. No question. I’d be happy to be wrong about him. I wholeheartedly agree with all your observations. A very slow and troublesome start by Tex will hopefully turn into an extremely hot second half. Fingers crossed.


    Excellent address, Jane…The Yankees are on track to end the season strong. Last year, after game #88 our record was 53-35. This year we are 56-32. Pretty good considering we are without Matsui and Damon. Love your blog and would love any she-fan products you mentioned!

  15. Jane Heller

    Thanks, Melissa. Interesting that you mention Matsui and Damon. I can remember whining about not signing them, but look at our record. I guess we’re doing OK without them, right? And how about some Yankees lipstick or nail polish? We need some products!


    Great post as always Jane. Pinstriped hair sounds like a good idea, but who would want a Zebra on their head? XD Anyway, I always thought it was Arod with the lipstick, but maybe he passes it around. One thing wrong though…Chan No is never good…at anytime. I’m glad you almost broke your TV because of Joba, so I’m not alone. I did restrain myself…had a friend over. I might have hit by accident while yelling. Though his family is mostly Met fans so I think they have it worse. I’ll be rooting for Swish at the homerun derby 😀

  17. Jane Heller

    Thanks, seindsfeld. You probably have to be a female to appreciate the hair idea. I disagree about Park. I’m not ready to give up on him yet. If he’s used judiciously, I think he can help us. Glad you restrained yourself the other night during the Joba fiasco. Rooting for Swish right now.

  18. raysrenegade

    Was waiting for a Declaration of War against the Red Sox and Rays within your Address.
    But it has been aglorious first hafl for both teams. Funny thing, the Rays have won one less game than in 2009,and are in the same spot this season.
    Just goes to show you, the AL East has the pulse of Major League Baseball.
    God Bless the American League.

    Rays Renegade

  19. Jane Heller

    I decided not to declare war in my address, Renegade. Too expensive for the country’s budget. lol. Congrats on David Price getting the start tomorrow and let’s go AL!

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