I’m serious. I mean, how is a fan supposed to deal with up innings and down innings and pitchers who can’t pitch, followed by miraculous bottom-of-the-ninth home runs? How? All I know is this:
* My heart soared when the Yankees went up 5-0 in the first inning off Dice K. I figured, “Wow. We’re gonna crush them.”
* My heart sank when Hughes made it clear he wasn’t as sharp, aggressive or efficient as he’s been and allowed the Sox to climb back in it in the fifth.
* My heart soared again when Thames’s RBI gave us seven runs. Shouldn’t seven runs be enough to win a ball game?
* My heart sank again when Chan Ho Park was forced to come back for the eighth (having literally just been activated) and gave up not one but two shots.
* My heart soared again when Vazquez, the forgotten pitcher, got Youkilis to strike out to end the top of the ninth. The crowd was cheering for him instead of booing him! Sweet!
* My heart jumped into my throat when A-Rod hit Papelbumkin’s first pitch into the seats to tie it up. It was clearly not the Irish jigger’s night, but A-Rod has been nothing but clutch.
* And my heart swelled as I watched Thames – Thames! – win it with his own two-run blast. Obviously, he’s well liked in the clubhouse because the players couldn’t wait to hug the guy and show him some love. And yes, I teared up, even when I watched the replay about 16 times, pie and all.
So you see why I said this game almost killed me. I just hope it didn’t kill any of the Yankees. If I wake up tomorrow and find out that Cervelli is our latest casualty because he got hit on the arm, I’ll be very unhappy. He and Gardner are about the most exciting Yankees in years.