Top Ten Reasons Why The Yankees Didn’t Winn Tonight

Yeah, he’s Reason #1:

Winn may look a little like Bernie Williams but he sure doesn’t hit like him. I was hoping he’d step up when Granderson went down and make something of his opportunity. Not so far and definitely not tonight.
Reason #2:
“Boone Logan” is a cool name for a pitcher, but that’s not enough. Sometimes you actually have to get hitters out.
Reason #3:
Mitre wasn’t bad, and I’d be fine with him making another spot start if necessary, but when he served up that solo shot to Damon I felt sick.
Reason #4
A-Rod made a throwing error and Gardner lost a ball in center, and the defense looked flat in general – well, except for a terrific play by Cano and some nice picks by Tex.
Reason #5:
Jeter’s in a slump. He looks uncomfortable when he swings…and misses.
Reason #6:
Dontrelle was scratched at the last minute, so the Yankees had to face an Aussie with no discernible talent or experience. They don’t do well against pitchers like that.
Reason #7
Ordonez cut his hair. Now that it’s short, he has less weight to carry around. He made a web gem-y diving catch in right field.
Reason #8:
The Yankees always lay down after they finish up a series against the Red Sox. The poor things were just spent.
Reason #9:
The Bombers’ plane got into Detroit really late after the Boston game Sunday night, plus their pilots were too busy fondling the championship trophy to avoid turbulence.
Reason #10:
When Valverde came in to close, with the Yankees only down a run, they were forced to watch him jump around on the mound and couldn’t stop laughing. I know I couldn’t. We’re not talking about a guy who pumps his fist at the end of an inning. This character puts on a show after every pitch. And apparently, it’s been going on awhile.
Jose Valverde.jpg
Well? Wouldn’t you be a little distracted by the Little Richard routine?



    Well I put on my Bob Marley shirt, I guess it didn’t have the same affect. But omg Jane that is so funny! Me and my mom thought he was gonna throw up when he took off his hat and took a bow to his invisible midget god. Then when he struck out Arod he pumped his fist like HE pitched a perfect game. What will he do if they win the world series?
    Great pics of Jeter XD

  2. lenn23

    I think #9 is the main reason for this loss. The schedule-maker really seems to have it in for them this year. Have they even had a long home-stand yet? Very frustrating loss but at least they showed some fight in the end. I think Valverde scared the crap out of them in the ninth!

  3. cheshirecat9

    Hi Jane. I can always count on you to make me laugh even after a loss. This one was a bummer. We came so close. Despite the theatrics that closer was a monster. Let’s hope for blow outs the next two games so we don’t have to see him again.


    All righty, then…you just HAD to flash a pic of Mr. Penniman, didn’t ya?…and yes, ’tis quite a good likeness…so here we go again, to his tune of…
    “Slippin’ and slidin’
    Fallin’ down & hidin’
    Been warned a long time ago…
    Trippin’ and floppin’
    Old Yanks, they were stoppin’
    Been warned a long time ago…
    I foretold, Jane,
    And you can scold, Jane…
    Don’t BE their fools no more!”
    Yes I will stop now. She-Fan, you prob’ly coulda gone on to at least ’16 Reasons’ why da boyz got beat last night. The New Tigres were certainly geeked up. And sometimes, there’s Other Things in the air, too…like maybe the ghost of Ernie Harwell…how well we know about these things…

    But it’s a new day. Maybe Javy will amaze us…say seven “Javy Krishnas” (to conjure up Mickey), dance around (or in front of) the Tube God, and maybe just maybe it’ll work again. Otherwise, I may have to rephrase Long Tall Sally or Tutti Frutti tomorrow — and NOBODY wants that!!

  5. stonebutch99

    I’ve been watching the demonstrative Valverde in Houston the last couple of years. It was getting old. I’m glad the AL gets to take a look at it for a while. 😉 We are doing just fine with Lindstrom as closer and Lyon coming in as the setup guy. It is odd to have the setup guy making $5 million and the closer making $1.65, but that’s how we roll here in Houston.

  6. devilabrit

    Now your stretching the top 10 a little including the BoSox in there this season, they got swept by the O’s if they had an effect then your guys definitely need help… I think they were just ‘tiger whipped’ okay that was the clean version…LOL

    Phillies Outside

  7. Jane Heller

    I even made myself laugh, Lenny. LOL.

    Throw out (or just put away) the Bob Marley shirt, seindsfeld. It’s no good. Try something else tonight. I guess Valverde’s next dance steps could be James Brown-like. We’ll see.

    Mike, it’s always fascinated me how the Yankees (and, I guess, other teams) have trouble with guys they’ve never faced and who don’t have particularly good stuff. Isn’t that what scouting reports are for? I actually think they’d rather face Verlander!

    The schedule has been brutal, Len. But playing an ESPN Sunday night game and then having to play the next night in another city (i.e. no travel day) is something the Yankees always have to deal with because they’re the Yankees. Goes with the territory. Hopefully, they got a good night’s sleep and will look sharper for Game 2. Valverde did scare the crap out of them. Zumaya threw one near Cano’s head and I nearly died, but at least he walked people.

    It was a bummer, cheshirecat. I really thought we’d mount a comeback. But Valverde/Little Richard shut the door. I would love it if we don’t have to see him again. I’d also love it if MO WOULD SHOW UP. I haven’t seen him in ages.

    So, Dave. Do you sing those songs while you’re composing them? And do the people in your office hear you? LOL. Great as always. I really hope Javy turns things around tonight. We called up another reliever, just in case, and I guess Aceves is available. But we need him to step up. Now!

    You’re looking at Jeter’s pants, Sue? Get your mind back on baseball! LOL.

    Maggs did look ugly with the long hair, Jeff, but I really got a kick out of the wigs the Tiger fans wore. Looks like he trimmed down too and is suddenly making plays like the one last night.

    A very little pot belly, Bern. I guess we can forgive that, since it was the off-season when he and Minka went on that vacation.

    Doesn’t he, Serena? Every time I see him I think of Bernie…and wish he had the same talent.

    I was wondering if fans/players in the NL had the same reaction to Valverde, Austin. I guess the answer is yes!

  8. Jane Heller

    No, Peter. The Yankees always lose after playing the Red Sox. It’s just a given. The rivalry takes a lot out of the players on both sides.

  9. peggy3

    Hi Jane & fellow baseball fans…

    You just crack me up every single day with your posts. Where do you come up with a picture like the pilots with the trophy? That Little Richard comparison is scary indeed. Valverde makes K-Rod, Paps & Joba look mild by comparison with their celebrations (ok ..maybe not K-Rod as he’s pretty out there too). You always put a smile on my face which is greatly appreciated.

    Speaking of pot bellies…both Damon and Coke looked much bigger to me in those white Tiger uniforms. Wonder if it’s them or the clothing? They looked much better in the “slimming” pinstripes.. :o)

    I didn’t think Mitre did that bad …defense let him down. As Jane pointed out ..too many different things happened that
    contributed to the loss. Here’s hoping the Yanks take the next 3 (or at least 2).

    Go Yankees 2010 !!!

  10. joneill

    I’m sorry about #1. He was reason #1 the Giants didn’t make the playoffs last year. I’m glad he’s not our problem anymore!!

  11. Jane Heller

    Glad to make you smile, Peggy. Hope things are still OK at the hotel and you’re not running up and down the halls at night having rowdy parties. LOL. I didn’t notice Damon and Coke looking bigger as Tigers, only that Damon is sporting a very unappealing mohawk. Supposedly, his wife likes it. Whatever floats their boat. Let’s go Javy!

    I wish Winn would get it together, joneill, but if he didn’t succeed with the Giants either it doesn’t leave me much hope for him. On the other hand, Swisher was a bust with the White Sox and he’s doing well for us. So who knows.


    Well, Jane…again, since you asked…
    Nope, I don’t sing ’em out loud — don’t need to — some kind of tune is ALWAYS bouncing around in the empty caverns of my brain — but I do have a CD player (& even a tape deck) in my office…with my, um, standing as “The Old Guy in that corner office” (no window, probably padding in the walls), they usually just look in, see me swayin’, and leave me alone (good thing)!
    Glad the Bombers called up some reinforcement(s). After Los Tigres sampled our Meat Tray, maybe a new arm out there will cure what ails us. Or not. Heard a few bad rumors & trends about Javy (Javy Krishna, Javy Krishna), but Say It Ain’t So, Joe (Krishna Krishna, Javy Javy)…just placate the Tube God, and think positive…!


    I did check the schedule out of curiosity and I noticed it seems throughout a whole week they’re either on the road or at home. Meaning they’re never at home for an extended period of time. Is that how it usually is? Seems weird. But throw out Bob?? I could never. I’ll put on a Beatles shirt though. You seem stressed Jane, so listen to this. 😀

  14. kaiserthegreat

    I have a Randy Winn bobble head you can have. He’s wearing a Giants uniform, mind you, but you can have it.

  15. Jane Heller

    Padding on the walls, Dave? LOL. Yeah, apparently we called up Miranda, and we have the pitcher who didn’t make it to Comerica in time for last night’s game. Miranda should be a better DH option than Thames.

    Then I will take a bow, Paul. Thank you.

    The Beatles shirt sounds good, seindsfeld. Not sure they’ll be playing tonight though. Rainy day in Detroit.

  16. Jane Heller

    Thanks, kaiser, but I’ll let you keep it – unless he gets hot and turns into a superstar. Then I’ll beg you for it. lol.


    Little Miss Sunshine says Mitre had a good outing and Robertson seemed to be regaining his old form.

    On the other hand, it was hard to have Johnny come back to haunt us, especially with Granderson on the DL.

    I liked Phil Coke with facial hair.


  18. Jane Heller

    Little Miss Sunshine, I wish you were in Detroit to make the rain go away. They just called the game. Day-night doubleheader tomorrow. Ugh. The Yankees need off days and they’re not getting them!


    uh, they did get today off Jane. ; – )

    Virginia will be happy because Cervelli will probably play.

    And seindsfeld – now is your chance to catch up on the other shows.

  20. Jane Heller

    I don’t consider this an off-day, Melissa, because they had to suit up, be at the ballpark early and sit around waiting to see if they’d play. But they will get tonight off!


    No I know, I was just kidding. It must be very frustrating to go through all the pre-game prep and then just have to pack up and go back to the hotel or whatever. Almost worse than playing!

  22. Jane Heller

    Nope, Mimi. The Captain isn’t immune to slumps, although with him they’re not terribly prolonged. He got two big hits yesterday, so I’m sure he’s feeling better about things. I know I am. And yeah, Valverde is a trip.

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