A Private Conversation With Andy

After today’s game, I hopped on a plane and went straight to New York-Presbyterian Hospital, where Pettitte was just emerging from the Carl Pavano Memorial MRI Tube.
I was freaked out when he left the game after only 77 pitches because he was experiencing pain in his elbow or wherever it was on his arm. I mean, didn’t I just write a post about how the Yankees were dropping like flies? Did he have to be another fly? Apparently so.
The results of the MRI indicated that there was inflammation. But I needed more than that. So I ambushed him and peppered him with questions.
Here’s our conversation. I admit I was confrontational, but I was upset. Forgive me.
She-Fan: Why are you doing this to us, Andy? We have enough players with injuries.
Andy: It’s not like I got hurt on purpose, jeez. It just happened.
She-Fan: Nothing just happens. You should have been more careful. You’re not a rookie anymore.
Andy: I get that. I’ll be fine once I rest the arm.
She-Fan: Well, what are we supposed to do in the meantime? We’re already down a starting pitcher if you count Javy. Do you expect Cashman to use Aceves in your place? Or Mitre? Or do you think he can just go out and buy somebody – like maybe Lincecum or Halladay?
Andy: You’re kind of sarcastic. You remind me of my wife.
She-Fan: And you remind me of John Travolta. You both have holes in your chin.
Andy: I liked him in “Wild Hogs.”
She-Fan: Getting back to the Yankees, it was because of you that Girardi was forced to tax the bullpen today, which almost allowed the Orioles to get back into it. You do realize that the ninth inning gave me palpitations. It was like a bad dream having to watch this team try to close out the win without Mo.
Andy: I have inflammation in my arm. What was I supposed to do? Stay out there?
She-Fan: I don’t know. I have inflammation in my right index finger and I’m still writing this blog, so you tell me.
Andy: Look, I’ll be okay in a few days. Don’t get so riled up.
She-Fan: I’m a Yankee fan. We get riled up.
Andy: Well, y’all need to calm down, because the pain I’m having isn’t like the kind where you need surgery.
She-Fan: Swear?
Andy: I never swear. It’s not polite.
She-Fan: I didn’t mean curse. I meant promise.
Andy: Promise. I’ll be back on the mound soon. You’ll see.
I reached way up (Andy is very tall) and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then I thanked him for reassuring me. I offered to buy him dinner, but he said he had plans with some of the guys. Likely story.
Speaking of dinner, did everyone see this in the Post today? What got me wasn’t the company A-Rod’s been keeping but his diet. Steamed fish with veggies? No wonder he’s not hitting for power. Give this guy a steak!

A-Rod and his H’wood blondes

Last Updated: 12:20 AM, May 5, 2010

Posted: 11:58 PM, May 4, 2010

Comments: 30


Alex Rodriguez is batting 1.000 with Hollywood blondes. The night before A-Rod and his girlfriend, Cameron Diaz, dined with Kate Winslet at Hotel Griffou — which we told you about yesterday — the lovebirds broke bread with Drew Barrymore and Gwyneth Paltrow at Macao Trading Company. Diaz and Paltrow arrived first, and were joined by Barrymore. “Cameron got a call, then ordered a steamed fish with veggies for her ‘friend’ who was on his way,” said a spy. When Alex arrived, after the Yanks beat the White Sox 6-4, Barrymore “moved so the couple could sit together.”

Yankees Alex Rodriguez.

Yankees Alex Rodriguez.




  1. devilabrit

    Just maybe he’s not hitting because he’s thinking about who he’s having dinner with… and your conversation with Andy was hilarious, I especially liked where he said ” I liked him in Wild Hogs” too funny…

    Phillies Outside

  2. bgalaxy@verizon.net

    somebody wrote the other day about the sports illustrated curse and now i’m worried. jorge, mo, andy, and i fear derek is next.
    i had to go to a big meeting today during the game and asked my dad to call me with the final score. he appropriately told me to call on a break rather than him interrupting me. so i waited and then got the weird news of almost blowing the lead. what happened to our reliable robertson? can marte only pitch in the post season? i’m not complaining if he will replicate that this year. we need mo back. with that said, we swept and we can rest and heal tomorrow before the evil sox.

  3. raysrenegade

    Guess when you have dated movie starlet, won a World Championship, and have been called a “great guy” by Madonna, Hollywood types tend to come out of the woods seeking the same sparkling winner on their arms.
    But, you would think with the Dodgers and Angels near the LA area, they might stray closer to home for their…prey.
    But then A-Rod does have the past experience of dealing with the tabloids and “whos-dating-who” blogs.
    I will give him props for Drew Barrymore. My oldest daughter idolizes the director/producer/actrist, plus looks like her movie double some days (Thank goodness she looks like her mom).

    Rays Renegade


  4. Jane Heller

    I thought of that, Peter. But he was hitting when he went out with the other blondes. I think he needs to get back together with Kate Hudson. Glad you liked my conversation with Andy.

    I’ve been hearing about the Sports Illustrated curse all day, Barbara, and I refuse to listen. (I’m plugging my ears right now. Lalalalalala. Jeter won’t get hurt!!!!) I’m puzzled by Robertson. He’s not the same pitcher as last year. No confidence. Can’t get those swings and misses. Doesn’t have it. I’d be afraid to use him. And yes, we need Mo back. Today’s game made that all too clear.

  5. scofid

    I am glad that Andy’s injury is not more serious than minor inflammation. With the hole in the #4 slot, we don’t need a hole at #3 too. The pitching, Javy and bullpen sans Mo excluded, has been terrific. It was great to sweep the O’s as momentum for the flight to Boston.


  6. Jane Heller

    Most of the “Hollywood types” are bi-coastal, Renegade. So being in NY with A-Rod as opposed to LA with a Dodger/Angel isn’t much of an issue for them. Besides, you’re right about the sparkling winner part – a definite lure. So your daughter looks like Drew Barrymore? You should post a pic of her and let us see!

    “Minor inflammation” will depend on how long he sits out, Scott. As you said, we can’t afford to lose our #3 for very long, so I hope there’s no talk of DL-ing him. I guess we’ll find out in the next few days, depending on how he does. I never expected Chan Ho Park to be gone this long for a hammy. Yes, nice sweep of the O’s. Did you know the Yanks aren’t flying to Boston? They’re taking the train!

  7. seindsfeld@aol.com

    Today made me dread the words coming out of you know who’s mouth “I’m retiring.” Mo is 40 years old!!! And he’s still pitching like he’s 27, so why does it take 4 numbskulls just to get 3 outs? I have a suggestion, we all take our copies of SI and BURN THEM to the baseball gods, sacrificing them in some pagan ritual. Jane you can lead the chant of course. That convo with Andy was so funny it made me a bit less nerved about him possibly missing 2 or more starts. (Plus the Pavano line! XD) But about A-List-Rod, he made Drew Barrymore have to move? He must be cooler than I thought 😮 Also, I’m still wearing this shirt, ever since I’ve worn it they’ve been winning, but like five people have gotten hurt, so what do I do??

  8. Jane Heller

    Don’t even think about Mo retiring, seindsfeld. Not yet! He’ll be back for the weekend and all will be well. Still, I don’t know why it took four numbskulls to finish off the O’s. Actually, Mitre has been looking pretty good with that sinker. He just left one up. But Robertson, as I said above, is a strange case. How could a pitcher be so effective and then not be, barring an injury? I’d keep wearing the shirt. I think it’s helping the Yankees win, not causing the injuries. Why? Because you weren’t wearing it when Chan Ho went down and he started it all.

  9. mel.tmottbg@gmail.com

    Okay, everyone. Take a deep breath. Now let it out slo-o-o-o-owly. Feel better?

    With the exception of Granderson, none of the injuries are major. The Yankees are smart – they have older players, who they expect to need until late October or November, so they watch them carefully and take good care of them. Let’s just focus on that. And Gene Monahan was in the dugout the other night, so we know they are in good hands. I think it’s tough for athletes this time of year. The weather has been nuts, hot, then cool . . . hard on the muscles.

    Perhaps while he’s resting, Mo could focus on Robertson. He’s in his sophomore slump and needs to get back to his old form. I have confidence he will.

    Melissa aka Pollyanna aka Little Miss Sunshine ; – )

    PS Loved the conversation with Andy, Jane. The Travolta stuff was genius. You left out an adjective that starts with f when mentioning Pavano.

  10. mhugill@verizon.net

    LOVED the conversation with Andy!

    But you have used up your allotment of flies on this blog for the year Jane.


  11. mhugill@verizon.net

    LOVED the conversation with Andy!

    But you have used up your allotment of flies on this blog for the year Jane.


  12. dschaub@gpo.gov

    “Flies! Flies!
    Youre telling me it’s Andy too?
    Flies! Flies!
    Each day it seems there’s someone new…

  13. Jane Heller

    No, none of the injuries (except Granderson’s) are major, Pollyanna. I mean, Melissa. LOL. But all anybody’s writing about is how old the core four are and how creaky their bodies are. It’s so ridiculous. Yes, they’re old. But how about all the other players? They make it sound like we should ship everybody to an assisted living facility. Jeez. Very glad to hear Geno was in the dugout. Does that mean he’s back with the team or was he just visiting? I hope Mo spends time working with Robertson, even if it’s only for moral support.

    I forgot how much you love the flies, Peg. 🙂 I’ll try not to use them again, but the Yankees need to cooperate. No more injuries.

  14. peggy3

    Hey Jane & Fellow Baseball fans…

    Miss Jane ..you had me cracking up with your convo with Andy. The Carl Pavano Memorial MRI Tube …too funny…haha. You really do come up with some great stuff. Of course after reading your books that isn’t a surprise. Keep it up !!!

    I’m not one to believe in the SI curse…Granderson & Park aren’t on the cover and they are both hurt too. Things happen and if all is to be believed Mo is just fine and will be
    pitching tonight if need be. They were smart to not push him before the Boston series. Just like Georgie …why push him when all is going well with the team and we have a terrific young guy like Cervelli to step in. The team did just fine with the Kiddie Corp playing which is one reason I really am enjoying this team…EVERYONE is “pitching” in for a total team effort.

    Time to rest up and prepare to watch the Yankees pull off another Boston Massacre…. :o)

    Go Yankees 2010 !!!

  15. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Oops…hit the wrong stupid key again, before I could explain that I was making up another dumb ditty to the tune of “Lies” by The (not NY) Knickerbockers…sorry…and it was just a DRAFT…but now I’m committed (and yes, I will be committed someday, I know), so to continue…
    “Fears! Fears!
    We’ve got a million fears for you!
    Fears! Fears!
    We’re worryin’ about Beantown too…
    Someday we’re gonna be healthy
    But I don’t know when just now
    Flies! Fly-i-ies!
    They’re breakin’ my heart…!”
    I’d better STOP now before someone ELSE gets hurt…

  16. Jane Heller

    Excellent point about Granderson and Park, Peggy. There is NO Sports Illustrated curse going on here! And the Baby Bombers are picking up the slack just fine. I do think the Yankees need to be cautious with everybody. It’s early in the season. No point in rushing anybody. But if Andy’s inflammation persists, I just hope someone will step up and take his spot effectively.

    You had music interruptus, Dave? Horrors. Glad you persisted and thanks for your “dumb ditty.” I don’t remember the song “Lies,” but then I’m not as encyclopedic as you are.

  17. Jane Heller

    I know you do, Paul. I’m just hoping the dropping of flies doesn’t escalate and is short lived.

    Nope. Don’t remember the song or the band, Dave. Maybe I was too caught up in the Beatles. Tell Jersey Bob that Granderson is hardly OLD! Do I wish we’d held onto Ajax? Of course. But we can’t have everything/everyone, and I love Grandy. I wonder if Cisco will play this weekend in Boston. If Posada’s healed up I guess he’ll be out there catching. Pancho is a must. I want him running on Martinez and Varitek.

  18. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Uh-oh…if you don’t remember “Lies,” then I’m getting WAAY too obscure…sorry, bloggers…they were a band from Bergenfield, NJ, who had that One Big Hit in ’66 and little else. But on that, they sounded a LOT like The Beatles…honest…!
    And now, to beisbol — speaking of NJ, you’d guess that Jersey Bob has been ranting about ‘What Did They Do’ by trading Ajax and some promising pitching for ‘Old’ Grandy… glad they have a day to regroup before dealing with the Hoseheads, ’cause it’s never good to go into there with less than a full arsenal…but it IS great to see how Cisco and “Pancho” Gardner are keepin’ the ball rollin’. Better shut up again before another dumb ditty hits me…!

  19. seindsfeld@aol.com

    Dave you’re right, they do sound like the Beatles lol. Jane, Chan Ho got hurt awhile ago, I can’t remember what shirt I was wearing, but what if I WAS wearing it?? Think I should sacrifice the shirt too? Good news on Grandy, he can walk in a straight line, and thinks he’ll be back by the time the 15 day DL is up! 😀

  20. bklyntrolleyblogger

    (observing my A-Rod boycott)…otherwise..
    AAaaahhhh!! “you both have holes in your chin”
    But you’re slick…very slick indeed! Nice way of telling Yankee fans to chill because that’s what they do. That’s tact! I believe I told you once before how I like it when you express your anger…It’s so Empire’ish. BUzzzBUzzz Jane!

  21. Jane Heller

    I’d still wear the shirt, seindsfeld. The winning must continue in Boston, so don’t take it off!!!!

    You did tell me you liked when I express my anger, Mike. I’m very Empire-ish when I do that. So beware of the Evil!

  22. heartruss

    OMG. I couldn’t stop laughing. I love your sense of humor. Your dialog with Andy is priceless. I didn’t know that A Rod was dating Cameron Diaz (who went to my high school, I guess she was also a Polyette) I have to read your blog everyday to keep up with the dating news!!

  23. Jane Heller

    Maybe I should change the name of this blog to TMZ, Cat. LOL. I remember that Cameron Diaz went to your high school. Who knows if she’s really dating A-Rod or just having a little fling. Probably the latter.

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