Now that the #5 starter thing has been dealt with, I started thinking ahead to the Real Thing – the moment when the Yankees actually kick off the regular season. I got so excited until I reminded myself that we open at Fenway….and then my stomach turned.
Won’t it be snowing in Boston?
Or, at the very least, won’t it be too cold for the ESPN Sunday Night extravaganza? Speaking of which, I guess most people have already seen ESPN’s commercial featuring Swisher. I watched it today, courtesy of River Ave Blues.
Okay, the truth is I prefer to ease into The Rivalry instead of jumping right into it. We should be playing Baltimore first, or maybe Toronto, since they have a retractable roof. And let’s face it – having to listen to Red Sox fans chanting “Yankees suck” isn’t my idea of a great time.
Plus, the Sox usually beat us early in the season, and if this upcoming series is true to form they’ll sweep us. Yeah, I know. We’ll return the favor in August and September, but still. Isn’t there any way the Yankees can wriggle out of this date with destiny? Here’s what I was thinking…
1) We get a note from the team doctor.
Dr. Stuart Hershon could simply say the team has a headache.
2) The series really does get snowed out.
The weather has been crazy this year. Anything’s possible.
3) The Red Sox players go on strike and refuse to play.
They did it in 2008 when the coaches weren’t getting paid as much as the players for their trip to Japan.
4) The grass at Fenway is invaded by gophers, and the holes would pose an injury risk.
5) Bud Selig, acting on the advice of his special committee, suddenly decides to realign the division and put the Red Sox in the AL Central.
I’m out of excuses. Anybody else have one?