My Talk With A-Rod

With A-Rod bound for Buffalo, I thought it was time to bring back my alter ego for another chat in the cafeteria with a Yankee. I know A-Rod will be lawyered up for his meeting with the feds on Friday, but there’s nothing like a fan to tell him how to conduct himself. I tried, anyway.


  1. cheshirecat9

    Good advice She Fan. I hope Alex listens to you. I can’t believe he has to fly all the way up to Buffalo. There are no FBI agents in Tampa? I went to college in upstate New York and I have to believe there is more to keep the Feds busy in Florida then up there.


    It’s been way too long since the SheFan had a one-on-one in the cafeteria. Loved the “don’t start humming “Like a Virgin” line and your clever response to “I got it.”
    The Yankees really do need to hire you!



    Great advice as usual. I think your best tip to Alex was not to bring any women, although it might not hurt to fly in Justice Sotomayor just to walk into the meeting with him.

    I don’t remember it coming up in her confirmation hearings, but I just assume she’s a Yankee fan.

  4. Jane Heller

    You went to college in upstate NY too, cheshirecat? I was in Rochester. I guess the feds picked Buffalo because it’s close to Canada where the investigation is really taking place. But what do I know.

    I missed that little She-Fan too, Melissa. I thought I should bring her back in A-Rod’s latest time of need. You have no idea how long it took me to get that computerized voice to pronounce “Like A Virgin” even semi-coherently. And yes, the Yankees really do need to hire me. Sigh.

    Great idea, jojovanb! Justice Sotomayor is definitely a Yankee fan. She threw out the first pitch at one of the playoff games (was it a World Series game?). A-Rod should bring her along, no question, but no other women.

    You match my lunacy every day, Paul. Just with more panache.


    Hello…she-FAN…love your kar-toonz…fun and informative at the same time…but wow, do I wish I had your hands when I was young…coulda played some SERIOUS ball with those paws!!
    To answer the question, Why make Alex shuffle off to Buffalo…as a low-level, non-investigator Fed me-self, my best answer is…BECAUSE THEY CAN. Always lotsa gamesmanship here, some subtle, some not. If I could talk to Alex, I’d tell him that the less he relies on his lawyers to answer, the better impression he gives…for what it’s worth (stop, hey, what’s that sound)…couldn’t resist the musical inside joke for you, Diane, whereveryouare…
    And from now on, I’m gonna call A-Rod Alex, because it’s the same name as my own wayward prodigal son, who only wishes he could make .0001% of Big Alex’s $$ someday…but at least he’s already got the jersey!!

  6. Jane Heller

    Do you believe how big her hands are, Dave? I always laugh when I see them. Her feet too. So you think it’s gamesmanship that they’re making A-Rod come to Buffalo? I just figured it was because of the proximity to Canada, but you may be right. As for calling him Alex, by all means if it works for your prodigal son. The only reason I called him that in the video is because the computerized voice refuses to say “A-Rod.” It comes out like “a rod.”


    I also went to college in upstate NY – at SUNY Binghamton. But when I went our athletics were Division III and academics were actually taken seriously.

    And Jeff, your comment about ARod and the skirt? Yuck!

    Jane, I liked how you called him Alex – you really put him in his place!


  8. Jane Heller

    I didn’t notice that A-Rod was checking “me” out in the skirt, Jeff. But he does have very expressive eyebrows!

    I guess I could also have called him “Al,” Melissa. That’s what Mientikewicz calls him. But I didn’t want to be too familiar. LOL.

  9. bklyntrolleyblogger

    Sorry I’m late to the film festival…His responses are just as contrived in toonz life as in real life. But if he listens to you he’ll be fine. But honestly, I think the Feds already know all the truth they need about Galea and the Feds just want to see if A-Rod is going to lie about things. The Ol’ Mouse Trap Routine. It’s all in A-Rod’s hands today. He better not scream AAaahhhh!! and drop his own pop-up!

  10. Jane Heller

    Turns out he didn’t even meet with the feds today, Mike. I guess the meeting was postponed “my mutual consent.” But why wait until the season starts? Couldn’t they have taken care of this by now? Grrr.

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