Asking For Trouble
In yesterday’s post, our friend of the blog, cheshirecat, expressed concern – or maybe just a bit of curiosity – about the fact that the Yankees have opened spring training camp without a single controversy. Indeed, the news from Tampa has been all business, plus a little good-natured discussion of Swisher’s new haircut.
There’s been none of this type stuff, in other words.
Why the Yankees didn’t sign Damon or where Nick Johnson will bat in the lineup don’t qualify as “controversies.” A-Rod’s no longer married, so nobody really cares who he goes out with. The subject of Jeter’s contract was put to rest when he told the media, “I’m not talking about it for the rest of the season.” And A.J. and Jorge are said to be finding harmony on the mound and behind the plate, respectively. So what gives? Nobody’s done anything stupid yet. The tabloids have nothing provocative to write about. There are no longer any Steinbrennerian smackdowns that send everybody into a hissy. Yes, we’re only in February, but it’s all so eerily….unYankeelike.
Which is why I’m posing the question: What will be the first controversy of 2010? A few suggestions.
* A Failed Drug Test.
Anyone who’d be dumb enough to be taking a banned substance at this point deserves whatever punishment they get. I can’t see it happening on this Yankees team, but…
* An A-Rod Something.
Supposedly, he’s all about the team now and isn’t interested in self-promotion. After the way he played last year, especially in the postseason, I really think the nutty photo shoots are a thing of the past.
* A Brawl at Fenway During the Season Opener, With Suspensions.
Chances are that Varitek will not be catching, but there’s always a chance that somebody will brush somebody back or mutter a few choice words, and tempers will flare. Nobody’s all that worried about suspensions this early in the year, although injuries would be a huge reason to be a pacifist.
* A Slow Start for Tex.
We should be ready for it. We saw what happened last year. Tex was a slow-starter with the bat and he more than compensated with his glove. And then he went on an offensive tear. No biggie.
* A Slow Start for the Team/Girardi Gets Canned.
I know this won’t happen. I just do.
* Granderson, Solid Citizen and Presidential Nutrition Spokesperson, Will Be Revealed to Have a Secret Addiction to These.
OK, I’m out of ideas. Anybody else want to take a crack at this? Or are we looking at a 100% controversy-free season?
I think the next big controversy is that Chan Ho Park is going to show up for camp late after the orphanage he grew up in was going to be closed down after the IRS came after them for back taxes. Park was going to go out and just steal the money, but the Nuns at the orphanage wouldn’t allow it. So what he decided to do was get the band back together and…
Wait, that’s the Blues Brothers. Not really any controversies in Yankee camp.
As much as I hope that the Bombers are free of controversy, I just can’t see it happening. Even if it’ is something as little as Teixeria having a slow start, the media will make it out to be something much more then it really is. I don’t quite know what it will be, but there will be something. I’m not counting A-Rod out yet because…well, I’ll compare him to Britney Spears…you never know what he’s going to do or say next. Again, I hope we have a great season on and off the field, but at the end of the day…it’s about winning. Do I really care how many women A-Rod has slept with? No. As long as he puts the good of the team first…then I’m fine.
I think that this may be one of the least-controversial season in MLB compared to the last couple of years. I’m sure I’ll be wrong tho. Once I say this a lot of controversy will pop up… lol no i really think that this’ll be not as controversial of a season than ’09, ’08, and ’07.
HAHAHA, Rob. I actually read through your comment and didn’t know you were messing with us until I got to the…”just steal the money” part. Good one!
Swanton7, at least with Tex’s slow start, he’s already been through the media scrutiny and survived – and that was in his first year in the NY glare. So I’m not worried about that one. I’m not counting out A-Rod either, but I think he got the message last year that if you really want a ring, you stay out of the papers. And you’re right. At the end of the day, it’s about how the Yanks handle the controversies that come their way and find a way to win.
So far so good, gonzo. Things have been pretty quiet on the MLB front, controversy wise. But let’s see what the next month brings – or even next week!
For me, the biggest controversy in the Bronx this year will end up being my choosing between a Label’s steak sandwich or the brisket sandwich from the Barbacue place (both in left field). Both are nasty good and either does the trick. Everything else that happens is just entertainment.
Grandy will have to wrestle the Krispy Kremes away from C.C. I believe… haha, and the A-rod self love mirror pic… oh jeez… I had just burned that out of my memory.
The next controversy isn’t going to involve the Yankees, but two ex-Yankees. Do you remember a few years ago when Jeter, Abreu and Matsui made a bet to see who would get marreid first? Then Matsui went and got married a few days later? Well apparently Abreu never paid up. Now the two of them are teammates again, you can be sure the scene will be ugly. Matsui’s normally placid, professional facade will crumble and we will see the ugly, money obsessed monster that lurks below. I see Matsui getting his Yakuza buddies to shake him down. Abreu’s playing career will be over.
But the real shocker I expect is in the last week of Spring Training for a woman to step forward claiming to be the mother of his love child. The scandal!
I think the controversy will have to do with a wedding. That is Derek and Minka – will they or won’t they, and if they do where will they register?
Other possibility is a “biggest loser” contest between Swish, Dejo and whoever else they can get on a diet.
That’s the kind of controversy I can live with.
The ARod stuff is over. Only thing I can come up with is an injury or two. Dunno what else.
Here’s hoping the first controversy is over six Yankees being voted in to start the All-Star game. And I can’t say out loud what I hope the second controversy will be because I believe in jinxes, or at least bad karma.
Any time any fave team o’mine wins The Big One, I worry about complacency…so my vote is for a slooow start (esp. with the Hoseheads first on the schedule), and that will cause enough angst in Da Bronx and elsewhere around this fair land of ours…there’s enough new parts in the machinery this year that it only makes sense that it’ll take time to get them to mesh…but it ain’t how you start…!
Plus, I’m a Natch’l-Born Pessimist when it comes to my teams…you don’t want to know…used to drive the wife Kray-zee, but now it just gets its (deserved) cynicism…
Hmm, will it be a year for a unique scandal?
Two pitchers will trade wives and lives. Nope, done that.
Two players will get in a fight, resulting in a broken finger for a staff ace. Nope, happened already.
Player and manager will get into a brawl. Nah, been there, done that.
Steroid abuse by sluggers. Nope. Had that one.
Star player dates older rock star. So yesterday.
Player suspended for cocaine. Nope, we’ve seen that.
Former player writes tell-all book about behind the scenes antics of team mates. Been there, done that.
Former player writes book describing being drunk while playing. Nope, that’s been done.
Former manager writes book that contains unflattering view of super star player. No, we’ve gone down that road.
Maybe the scandal will be that the Yankees don’t have a scandal and they start the year off with a bang, go out in front and win the AL East by the largest margin in history. Then go on to win all play-offs and series.
John, if being forced to choose between the steak and the brisket is the worst thing that happens, it’ll be a season to remember. Personally, I can’t wait to try both!
Grandy will have to wrestle the Krispy Kremes away from CC, Jeff. So right. But his cravings for them will be the ***** in his squeaky clean armor and the NY media will have a field day with it.
Could happen, cheshirecat. LOL. But do we even know if Matsui has a wife? That drawing didn’t inspire confidence. He might have pulled one over on us.
Yup, the wedding’s a good one, ladyjane – the kind of distraction I wouldn’t mind if they had. Jeter’s so good at deflecting all discussion of himself and his personal life, so he’d probably just flick it off and that would be that. Does Swish need to go on a diet? He looked pretty fit to me.
Bite your tongue, Paul. I hope last year’s Wang injury and the controversy it generated will satisfy the injury quota for this year. Wishful thinking, I know.
OK, then I don’t want to hear your second idea, jojovanb. I believe in jinxes too. Why did I ever write this post in the first place? LOL.
I hear you on the complacency, Dave. But I actually think opening the season at Fenway will help get the Yanks charged up – as opposed to, say, opening in Kansas City. How can they not be pumped in that atmosphere?
You’ve got it all covered, Melissa. No scandals could possibly occur because they’ve all been done before. HAHA. I really like your conclusion too! “The largest margin in history.” Now that has a nice ring to it.
Here’s a good scandal:
George Steinbrenner reads a book and loves it so much, he GIVES the team to the author. The book? Why Confessions of a She Fan, of course!
Melissa, sitting in white out conditions in NY state.
I could live with that, Melissa. 🙂 So you’re snowed in? Brrr. I remember going to college in Rochester and having it snow from October to May. I was not a happy camper.
Yes I agree.
though it is true that he is a notoriously slow starter everyone seems to forget that Tex injured his wrist in that first series of the year in Baltimore. he was hitting over 400 in ST last year..i realize that means almost nothing, but if not for the sore wrist many of those warning track shots in April might well have gone over the fence…
You know Jane,
I kind of noticed that a few weeks ago.
Maybe Jeter will have some sort of problem with his “Tampa Taj Mahal” and construction crews will dump waste into the Davis Island Channel, or we will find out A-Rod has a sexual addiction to himself.
Seriously, you got to actually look at it as a rabbit with all four legs after Easter that things are starting on a good foundation.
But it is early, and there is still more than enough time for something to fall from the cracks before they open their Grapefruit League schedule next week….Maybe we will find out Chan Ho Park has an obession for “Fourth Meal” from Taco Bell.
I do remember the wrist injury, Mike, and I hope Tex will stay healthy enough to get off to a better start. But on the whole, we have nothing to worry about when it comes to him. He’s just such an incredible player.
I guess there could be an issue with Jeter’s house, Renegade. And if there is, I know you’ll keep us informed of the goings on! Maybe somebody planted an Ortiz jersey in the concrete foundation!
Robbie Cano will be your first dilemma. Larry Bowa used to keep him in check and his head in the game. Melkey is gone and with him, his best friend. Robbie has been called stylish, smooth, fluid and a bunch of other things. I tend to use lazy and lackadaisical to describe his play in the field. I think Cano is a tremendous talent but he is very dissappointing at the same time. I believe he can be so much better than he’s been thus far in his career. The controversy will manifest with Cano and Girardi bumping heads. Cano may warrant a game benching or something to that effect. That’s what I see as the first dilemma on an otherwise apparently tranquil Yank team. A distant two on my list would be a bad start by Mo….some blown saves that everyone will over-react to. But that’s just me…I’m just sayin.
Nailed it. Has there ever been a non controversial season for the Yanks? Ever??? You know A-Rod is gonna do something that gets him in trouble (when doesn’t he?) That’s the yankees for you. But you already know that.
There is no such thing as a no controversy season. Unless you are the goody good teams that nobody talks about. There’s probably going to be something about this upcoming season opener when Boston plays New York. No clue what it is yet, but it will happen. It can’t stay quiet for long!!
I think Mick Kelleher did a terrific job with Cano last season, Mike. Bowa was good with him, no question, but Kelleher has been credited with working him harder on defense too and it showed. And I actually think he’ll be more focused without Melky on the team, as much as he’ll miss him. As for Mo, you’re right. A few blown saves early on and everybody will overreact – including me!
You could be right about another A-Rod controversy, Ted, but I’m thinking nobody really cares about his girlfriends anymore. My main concern about him is his hip. I pray he’ll be healthy and not need another surgery.
“A goody goody team no one talks about.” LOL, Holly. And you’re probably right that it can’t stay quiet for long.
We don’t really want to think about it now, do we?
I guess one good thing about us west coast teams is that we don’t get much controversy/media attention unless we really ask for it unlike New York and Boston. I know everyone cries for media attention but when we actually get as much as we ask for it becomes too much to handle. (Maybe just the right amount of recognition is enough lol). Plus our guys (Angels players) are very low key and mellow anyways. Sometimes the problem is lack of honest opinion! 😉 Though we have Torii for that now hahah! Anyways I’m sure the Yankees are professional enough to handle whatever comes their way. Well they kinda have to or the fans will stage an upset or something 😉
hmmm controversy Derek finally marries…. but in Las Vegas dressed up as Elvis!!! ROFL! I dunno how that’s controversy but that’d be so funny! Mr Captain with sideburns hahahaha
Sure we do, hehe. Thinking about it won’t make it happen, will it? Hope not!
It’s true about the Angels, Mimi. I never hear much controversy on their teams over the years. Must be nice! Jerek marrying in Vegas? Nope. Don’t see it. lol.
I saw a picture of an old Yankee with such a big afro and automatically thought about you. Aghhh, I can’t think of the player’s name. I thought about you using it in your blog. Maybe you have used it already.
Must have been Oscar Gamble, Emma. He had huge hair for awhile.
Oscar Gamble! That’s the name! Thanks Jane!