The Yankees Sign Reid Gorecki, Not Reed Johnson

When I read this, I said, “Who?” But he sounds like a minor league outfielder and not – I repeat not! – Cashman’s solution to the left field issue. Johnny Damon and Brett Gardner will be sharing duties there. RIGHT, CASH? RIGHT, JOHNNY? HAVE YOU TWO HUGGED IT OUT YET?


The Reid Gorecki signing wasn’t the only headline maker today. Mark McGwire finally explained to the media how he went from looking like this…
…to this.
To no one’s surprise, he admitted using ‘roids.
At this point, it’s like me admitting that I took my sister’s car out for a spin when I was in high school and sideswiped a parking meter. I pretended I wasn’t responsible for the giant scratch on the driver’s side, but everyone in the family knew I was guilty.
If McGwire’s sit-down with Bob Costas really gives everybody “closure,” then I’m glad. I’d much rather talk about how Jeter’s supposed wedding to Minka Kelly is now being called a hoax. I love hoaxes. I think I’ll create one right now: The Yankees just signed Johnny Damon and they’re announcing it tomorrow!


  1. cheshirecat9

    What, the Yanks have re-signed Johnny! I am going to spread the news all over the internets!

    Oh wait, this is a hoax? Like the crop circles? Man I got burned good by those crop circle people. I invested all my money into them…


    Loved the before picture of McGuire! Sort of looks like Canseco’s body before he juiced it up.

    Reid who??? The only Reed the Yankees should have signed is Reed Richards (aka Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic Four). Just think about it! He could stretch and reach any ball hit anywhere in the field! He could catch the ball as it leaves the bat! He could tag a guy out at home while still standing in left field! But I just remembered – his batting average is only .175. Maybe Kevin Long could help him.


    Yankees sign RAY SADECKI?? Really!?! Last time I saw him was in my 1964 baseball cards…pitching FOR the Cards…or is this Sadecki Junior?! Well, let’s see, he was a pretty good lefty, and we can always use that…and probably in his mid-sixties by now, which makes him almost as old as Tim Wakefield…wait a minute, let me get my glasses. Oh. Ooops. So sorry…nevermind…
    But let’s not give up on Handsome Johnny just yet (cue Richie Havens)…after all, as Miss Scarlett once said, “Tomorrow is another day”…and as long as I’m trapped in FantasyLand, Johnny, why don’t you staaay, just a little bit longer (with Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs, please…no 4 Seasons or Jackson Browne imitations)…!

  4. Jane Heller

    Signing Damon=crop circles, cheshirecat. LOL! Maybe it’s a hoax. Maybe it isn’t. That’s the cool thing about hoaxes: we never know they’re false until they are! (My eyes just crossed writing that.) What I’m saying is that Damon is still a possibility until he signs somewhere else.

    The thing about McGwire’s interview with Costas, Melissa, was his statement that his numbers, including the 70 HR season, would absolutely have been there without the ‘roids. We’ll never know if that’s true, but the guy went from being fairly normal in size for an athlete to a complete cartoon character. He said in the interview that he didn’t want to look like Schwarzenegger. Did he think he looked like Edwar Ramirez?

    We’ll see, Paul. You may be right. But it ain’t over until it’s over.

    Dave, do you know every song ever created? And the artist who recorded it? As I said yesterday, you’re a human search engine!


    Yeah, well, um…I do know all those ol’ tunes WAAAY too well…you can just imagine what a geek I was in high school…okay, and still am, esp. when it comes to this stuff…like the following, which maybe YOU can sing to our wayward hero…to the tune of…well…you know…
    “So come on the sloop, Johnny…
    Your fans, agent, and me…
    Around Barb’ra-town we will roam…
    Drinkin’ all night?
    Get into No Fights!
    Or I’ll feel so broke up…we want ya…come home…!”
    And after it’s over…Michael, row the boat ashore, hallelujah (with Johnny and She-Fan still on board, we hope we hope)!

  6. Jane Heller

    I read that too, Vig, but don’t always believe what you read. Until I see an announcement of Damon’s signing elsewhere, I’ll keep hope alive.

    Welcome back to blogging, FBC. Yes, I was surprised by the obsessing over something we already knew, but there was nothing much else going on in the baseball world yesterday so I guess McGwire was it.

    Damon’s going to the Braves or Giants. 10indians? I wonder which team it’ll be, if either.

  7. Fenway Bleacher Creature

    Hey Jane! I hope you’ve been doing well with your blogging. I finally got back to my blog and I plan on getting back into the rhythm. It was kind of strange to me to see people obsessing over something we really knew all along. I agree with you on this..
    Good luck on keeping Johnny, however slim the chances may look!

    Fenway Bleacher Creature


    Hi Jane,

    I’ve been lost in the movie “Once” since Sunday night. I’ve watched it four times I think. Incredible music and beautiful story.

    Back to baseball – MLB Network had Game Six on recently and I watched it for the third time and it never gets old. Anyway, good ole Ken Rosenthal has a conversation with Buck and McCarver talking aobut what the Yankees were going to do in the off season and they were wrong on all counts. All of it is talk. I agree, until Damon is gone, it’s possible.


  9. Jane Heller

    I think the same way you do, Mike, even though everybody (see comments above) keeps saying, “It won’t happen.” Who knows? If nobody steps up to make a decent offer to Damon in the next couple of weeks, I would guess he’ll be back in pinstripes.

    Laurie, I’ve never seen “Once.” If you watched it four times, I’ll definitely check it out. Thanks for the tip. Isn’t it amazing how wrong these broadcasters are? They go on and on with their predictions and analyses. My tarot card reader is more accurate than they are!

  10. kaiserthegreat

    Three questions that have nothing to do with your post above and are only being asked to satisfy my curiosity:

    1) Who is your favorite Yankee from last season? *
    2) Who is your favorite Yankee of all time? *
    3) If you could interview one Yankee, past, present or future, who would it be?

  11. Jane Heller

    OK, ready for my answers, Kaiser?

    1) My favorite current Yankee, including last season, is Mariano Rivera. Not only is he a future Hall of Famer, but he’s been successful for so long with essentially one pitch. I also love that he’s a man of quiet grace and dignity.

    2) My favorite Yankee of all time is Mickey Mantle. The Mick is the player I grew up idolizing. I wonder how much greater he would have been if his career hadn’t been cut short by injury. Lou Gehrig is a very close second.

    3) If I could interview one Yankee, it would be Mantle. I would ask him: “Why didn’t you take better care of yourself???”

  12. raysrenegade

    I have been hearing a few screams and curse words today from my neighbors in the condo community that their nephew might be thinking of becoming a Pinstripe.
    There has been panic in the streets of Woonsocket Rhode Island that such a move can happen after just one year wearing the killer “B” upon his cap.
    That is right, Rocco Baldelli has been rumored and seen within the state lines of New York recently.
    Even if he is not a 100 percent Rocco, he is still an upgrade compared to Damon’s arm.
    And he hits better and for more power than Reed Johnson.
    Oh, and he can steal bases..SWEET!
    Could be worse………….You could have signed Russell Branyan to play Leftfield.

    Rays Renegade

  13. Jane Heller

    I’ve read that Baldelli is someone the Yankees are looking at, Renegade, and if you say he’d be a good addition to the roster I believe you. But he hasn’t played a full season in I don’t know when, and we already have the injury prone Nick Johnson. So I’m not jumping up and down about the idea of Rocco.

  14. kaiserthegreat

    No wait, I wasn’t ready! Okay…now I’m ready, go!

    Good answers all around. Your choices reminded me to get around to watching 61*. I heard it’s good.

  15. Jane Heller

    You really should watch “61,” Kaiser. Billy Crystal did an excellent job telling the story of Mantle and Maris and their home run chase.

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