I’m Really Trying to Bring Damon Back

While Brian Cashman monitors Johnny Damon’s status via Scott Boras, I thought I’d better have a chat with Johnny one on one. I remember how long the Andy Pettitte situation dragged on last year and how frustrating it was. One day everybody was all: “The Yankees will make a deal and bring him back.” The next day it was: “The two sides are far apart and it’s not looking good.” I didn’t want to feel helpless this time around, so I took matters into my own oddly large hands. I hope I made my points – and that Johnny listened and will act accordingly.


  1. mikeeff

    well that was just about the cutest thing ever. and so were the both of you as well. love the ultra-laconic delivery. even if he just cuts down those visits to Nobu he could save millions…

  2. Jane Heller

    That’s what I was figuring, Mike. Ahi tuna is much more expensive than spaghetti. And I’m sure he could get his suits off the rack instead of custom. We all have to cut back. Why shouldn’t he?

  3. mlbmom

    I want Johnny back!! Is he a perfect defense guy? No (who is?), but he is a perfect fit, and that should carry some weight too.
    His website is johnnydamon.com. There is an icon where you can email him. I emailed him yesterday with shameless begging and pleading to please come back!!
    Silly, but no harm.
    39 days til pitchers and catchers report………..

  4. jstancil@unionky.edu

    Love it, Jane … loved the comment about Reed Johnson as well as the one about taking Michelle shopping at Target … sure hope Johnny (and Cashman) are listening.
    Jay >

  5. mel.tmottbg@gmail.com

    I think the Yankees should hire you to supervise meetings when they are trying to resign players.

  6. cheshirecat9

    Great job Jane! I hope Johnny listens to you. I really want him back and it seems crazy to me that the two sides cannot come to an agreement.

  7. Jane Heller

    Wendy, you gave me a great idea. I’ll send Johnny’s web site the link to this video. Maybe it’ll give him (or his web person) a laugh if nothing else! And 39 days doesn’t sound long at all. We’re almost there.

    Jay, I was trying to get Johnny’s competitive juices flowing with the Reed Johnson comment. If he ends up signing with the Yankees, it was THAT strategy that made it happen. πŸ™‚

    I think the Yankees should hire me to run the show, Melissa, but they just don’t seem to want a fan in charge. Imagine that. LOL. I’d be happy to broker the meetings between management and players. I’d try to get everyone to listen to reason – or, if that failed, I’d tell jokes.

    Exactly, Jenn. What’s wrong with spaghetti and Target? They’re good enough for me. I had spaghetti last night as a matter of fact and it was delicious.

    It does seem crazy, cheshirecat, especially since aren’t any visible signs of other suitors for Damon. But remember the Andy Pettitte negotiations. Yes, it’s a different story because he specifically wanted to play for the Yankees and I don’t think Damon has nearly the same affection for the team. But those talks dragged on and on and Andy finally came back at a price everybody could live with.

    Boras has them all brain washed, Paul. He sits them in a dark room and hypnotizes them.

  8. dschaub@gpo.gov

    You…tell…him…SheFan…(wow, it’s hard to replicate that computerized speech cadence)…yeah, somebody needs to take a rubber bat (or a wiffle bat?) upside Johnny’s noggin — or maybe smack him in his bare butox while he’s hangin’ out wild & free in the locker room, so to speak…and get him to lower his sights just a smidge. Sadly, we recall the words of (N.Y.) NBA star Patrick Ewing, when he said: “We make a lotta money, but we SPEND a lotta money.” Really. I like your idea about taking him to Costco and buying toidy paper by the gross…my wife LOVES the place…send him on down to Maryland for a weekend, and we’ll train him up…he doesn’t even have to shave (she loved the long-haired Mountain Man look from Sawx days, anyway)!!

  9. Jane Heller

    I think you nailed it, Dave. The star players make a lot of money and they spend a lot too. They’re used to a certain lifestyle and they don’t want to give it up. Why should they if they don’t have to? They also view money as respect in this game. Even humble Andy felt dissed when he didn’t get his price at first.

  10. dj2jd5jm7

    I completely agree that Boras hypnotizes them. But I don’t think it’s in a dark room. It must be done in a Hummer or Bentley, on Rodeo Drive or Fifth Avenue!

    Your chat with Damon really brightened up my day. I agree that Johnny has the chemistry that is needed to survive in NY. I’d love to have him back. Just keep working on him and he’ll eventually have to succumb to you and go back to the Yankees for a reasonable price.

    Hope you are enjoying the California sun. It is frigid here in the Midwest. Just keep waiting for April to roll around. Not too much longer…

  11. Jane Heller

    Oooh, dj. So sorry about your cold temps. I’ve been reading about 50 below in the midwest? How is that even possible? I’m feeling very lucky to have the CA weather right now. Ask me again during fire season. Anyhow, I’ll keep working on Damon until I hear he’s signed elsewhere.

    Brett Gardner is probably just fine in left, Joe. I just think Damon’s bat in the lineup makes the Yankees a much stronger team.

  12. Jane Heller

    You really think so, Joe? I know it’s “on paper,” but that’s still high praise!

    HAHAHA, Mike. If I met Damon I’d probably go, “I think you’re a fantastic outfielder and you seem to get younger ever year.” It’s easy for me to be brutally honest in a video.

  13. angelsgirl012

    hahahahaha!! cute cartoon.. very monotone hahah! I love Johnny damon’s character. Your arguments seem pretty valid to me! About the whole changing your life thing in order to take a pay cut. Spaghetti and Target are nice πŸ˜€ yeah for normal people! (I love sushi though)


  14. Jane Heller

    Glad you liked the video, mimi. I thought my arguments made sense too! So maybe I’ll post a link to the video on Damon’s web site and convince him that way. Meanwhile, I’m going to eat some spaghetti. LOL.

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