Would You Let a Red Sox Fan Operate on You?

No, we’re not talking about brain surgery. But it’s a question I would never have thought to ask until this morning. I went for a root canal – what a way to start the new year – and discovered that the dentist who was about to shoot me in the gums with a giant needle and drill through my tooth for two straight hours cheers for the Red Sox! As if I hadn’t been nervous enough about the procedure!
I had no clue what I was walking into. I arrived for my appointment in complete ignorance and was greeted by Corinna, who got me settled in my chair, brought me a warm and fuzzy blanket and immediately put me at ease.
She said I would take a nap? Perfect, I thought. I’ll dream about the 2010 Yankees and how they’re going to take the division, take the pennant, take the championship, la la la la la. So relaxing. (And yes, I brought the She-Fan Cam to my root canal appointment. You’d be surprised how many places it goes.)
I was picturing Curtis Granderson drifting under a fly ball in center when my dentist, Dr. Cami Ferris, entered the room.
“Good to see you again, Jane,” she said, having done a previous root canal on me in ’09. “Your Yankees book was coming out the last time you were here. How did that go?”
“Great,” I said. “Thanks for asking. Are you a baseball fan, Dr. Ferris?”
I should mention that I was recording our conversation on the She-Fan Cam.
“I played softball in college,” she said. “So I follow it sometimes.”
“Really? Which team do you root for?”
“Well, since I’m from Boston, the Red Sox are….”
And just like that, the She-Fan Cam went dead. I swear! The very instant she said “Red Sox” and was about to declare her partisanship, my trusty video camcorder stopped recording. It was as if it KNEW I was in the company of a Sox fan and might be in grave danger!
I was tempted to bolt out of the chair, but I remained calm, re-started the video cam and asked Dr. Ferris to explain her allegiance.
She was good sport, and I was more than satisfied that she would do an excellent job with the root canal.
While she worked on my tooth, I was dying to ask her what she thought of the acquisitions of Adrian Beltre, John Lackey, Marco Scutero, Mike Cameron and Boof Bonser (quite a cast of characters), but I wasn’t in a position to ask anybody anything.
Just as well. I followed Corinna’s advice and took a nap.


  1. arthur.kathleen@gmail.com

    At least she doesn’t own any Red Sox items! Can’t be a true fan without them!
    How spooky about the She-Fan cam! Also, do they sell Bosox voodoo dolls on line? Could come in handy with all of their acquisitions this post-season.

  2. mattpeas

    hahaha i say the same things in regards to girls i date. I could never date a Cleveland Browns fan. ugh they rub me the wrong way. My steelers have had a loooooong line of success against them yet the girls still dont know when to bow down to the greater power.


  3. bklyntrolleyblogger

    LOL I’m going for one next week. I know your pain. But I’d take my chances with the RedSox fan. I wouldn’t trust the METS doctors to put a band-aid on me.

  4. Jane Heller

    I got lucky, Vig. My dentist was terrific in spite of her team allegiance. LOL.

    Wasn’t that weird how the cam shut off the minute she mentioned she was from Boston, Kathleen? I couldn’t get over it. I haven’t seen any voodoo dolls but why not make your own!

    I’m glad my husband is a Yankee fan, Matt. One of our first dates was watching a game together so I knew we’d get along. LOL. But I would never say never about girls who are Browns fans. You might meet one and fall madly in love. Who knows?

    You’re having a root canal next week, Mike? Actually, the anticipation is worse than the actual procedure. It’s not bad at all. But I hope for your sake that the dentist isn’t a Mets fan!

  5. thefreak

    QUICK! Get up and go to a mirror and check out your choppers. If they can bury a red sox jersey in the concrete while building the new stadium, who says that your red sox loving dentist didn’t fill your tooth and put a mini red sox logo on top in an attempt to jinx you and our team……



  6. Jane Heller

    Thanks, Melissa. Yes, I survived to tell the tale.

    What happened in 2002? I don’t remember, Paul. What am I missing?

    HAHA, Mike. Someone wrote the same thing on Twitter. She said I should go look to see if the dentist buried little blue B’s in my teeth. So I checked and there are pinstripes there instead!

  7. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Aaah, teeeth…one of my most familiar pains…have had most every form of tooth torture, and can well relate…think of somewhere between Jack Nicholson’s “I love pain” in Little Shop Of Horrors, Uncle Benny in Lethal Weapon 4, and Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man…mmm-mmm, the ecstasy of the agony!!
    Hopefully, this one is The Last for you…esp. with a Red Sawx dentist…gotta lay off all that coconut milk, or whatever-it-is? It would be sweet to get our boys just one more serviceable outfielder, and I’d give my eye teeth for Carl Crawford…but not another root canal…at least, it’s something to chew on…now, what was it that Olivier kept saying…”Is it safe?”

  8. ooaooa

    Now you know how Jeter and Soriano felt when they got “drilled” by a Red Sox. A a member of Yankee fandom, you are expected to be an evangalist as well. Ye must go out and convert those of a different persuation! If you could convert a semi she-fan Sox fan your entry into the fan hall of fame could be assured.

  9. Jane Heller

    I always think of Dustin Hoffman in “Marathon Man” when I go to the dentist, Dave. LOL. But it wasn’t the coconut water that prompted the root canal. It was the fact that those silver fillings we used to get as kids don’t last forever!

    I should have converted her, John. You’re absolutely right. But it’s hard to talk when your mouth is closed for two hours. I’ll do better next time (hopefully there won’t be one though).

  10. Cordaro9418

    I’m a surg tech and have assisted several procedures involving Yankees fans. Luckily our call to professionalism and duty far outweighs the need to take snapshots of diehard Yanks fans cuddling fuzzy wuzzy Red Sox bears while going under…. hehe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s