Damon’s Coming Back to the Yankees!

Brian Cashman doesn’t even know this yet.
Scott Boras doesn’t know it either.
But I just met with Damon at an Orlando cafeteria, and he’s agreed to suck it up and put the pinstripes back on. I know there are some fans who weren’t sorry to see him go, but I haven’t forgotten his two stolen bases in the World Series or his liners into Damon’s Deck or the way he acknowledges the Bleacher Creatures during the roll call.
He’s a gamer. And our lineup will be better with him in it. Why did he decide to return to the team? Here’s our conversation.
I was only trying to help. If for some reason, Cashman made a deal for Holliday without telling anybody, we’ll have waaaay too many outfielders. But let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.


  1. cheshirecat9

    Ha ha! I love Johnny’s punk look. If only you could have talked some sense into him Jane. I definitely wanted Damon back. I hated him as a Red Sox, but thought he was a great Yankee.

  2. mel.tmottbg@gmail.com

    Oh, that was a good one, Jane! Made me start my day with a chuckle. Love the punk look for Damon. (Hey Johnny, if you’re reading this blog – listen to the She Fan!!!!!) Taking his wife to Costco and Target is a great idea!

    I really wish he’d come back. How many million do you really need anyway?


  3. thefreak

    You mean this isn’t true? GOSH DANGIT!!!!!! Quit playing with my emotions Mrs Heller. LOL Write this down ….. WOMEN ARE EVIL!


  4. fryingpan

    I loved the video! Way to make Damon face the truth. Although I’m a Red Sox fan, I do realize that Damon is a very talented player (aside from the fact that he can’t throw!) and I still like him to some extent. Anyways, good luck with getting Damon back.
    Keep up the great blogging too.


  5. Jane Heller

    Satire? You mean you don’t believe that I actually spoke to Damon, Paul? And I thought I was so convincing. Drat.

    When I saw Damon’s blue hair, cheshirecat, I thought maybe it was in honor of the Yankees. (It’s sort of “our” color.) I wish he’d come back. Why not have him DH and play the OF occasionally? I’d rather have him than Gardner, that’s for sure.

    Apparently, it’s not about how many millions they NEED, Melissa. It’s about how many millions spell RESPECT. This is about athletes buying into the notion that they’re being dissed if a team doesn’t pay up. Damon is feeling dissed right now. Such a shame.

    Sorry I traumatized you, Mike. But I know you’ll bounce back. LOL.

    I feel the same way, Babu, but I think Johnson will do a good job for us. I always liked him as a Yankee the first time around and if he can just stay healthy….

    It’s hard not to like Damon, Al. He throws himself into the game and is such a good guy in the clubhouse. I understand why Red Sox fans are upset that he left Boston, but I don’t understand why they boo him. He gave the team everything he had and helped them win a WS. But oh well. Glad you’re enjoying the blog. Will hop over to check out yours.

  6. raysrenegade

    Thank goodness you did not meet him at his home since he lives in the same complex as Tiger Woods.
    You would not have been able to get past the TMZ guys without them questioning you.
    You can never tell. Sounds like Johnny is open to listening to Cashman after he has looked the other way for so long.
    Hopefully this can get done before he wanders about 90 miles east and talks to another team if they get rid of a certain dead bat DH.

    Rays Renegade


  7. Jane Heller

    Oh, God. I can’t imagine what it’s like at that community, Renegade. I figured the cameras and reporters would have moved on already. How much is left to say about Tiger? So are you suggesting that Damon could find a home with the Rays? Or is my geography off? Tampa is west of Orlando, isn’t it? You can’t mean the Marlins!

  8. yankeeinutah@comcast.net

    Greetings from a very chilly Utah. My heart is broken, I don’t think we’ll see Damon in pinstripes again. He is not worth 25 million, but I believe that his “at bat” against Lidge in game 4 and his stealing double bases turned the Series. I guess it’s up to him to decide how much his respect is worth, and how much he wants to be a Yankee.

  9. crzblue2

    Do you think Scott Bora$ is a vampire? He looks too, too pale there! But he has season tickets in the sun. Must be all those vampires books I’ve been reading lately that has me seeing…. wait a minute! he is a bloodsucker!

  10. arthur.kathleen@gmail.com

    I will miss Damon. I heard on the XM Radio MLB station that Johnny went to the Yankees when he heard they were talking to Nick Johnson and made an offer. Supposedly the Yankees said to late! I too hated him as a Bosox, but I have come to love him as one of us. He added to the magic chemistry in the club house and that can’t be overlooked. Jane, you, as always, use the cafeteria in creative, goofy ways! Laugh and laugh!! The monotone has to be the best.
    Maybe for Christmas Cashman will turn out to be Santa!

  11. Jane Heller

    Greetings to you, yankeeinutah. Hope you’re staying warm this holiday season despite the cold outside. I think Damon’s at bat against Lidge was the series turning point too, which makes losing Damon that much tougher. But money and the number of years in the contract were the issues when he left Boston, so I don’t see why he’d suddenly take less than he feels he’s worth to stay in NY.

    Damon brought a lot to the team, Kathleen. No question. Matsui did too, but I understand why Cashman let him leave. Damon is more versatile so I was hoping he’d stay. All I know is that the “cafeteria” is my one chance to talk to the players so I couldn’t resist trying to persuade Johnny to listen to reason! Cashman only has a few more days to be Santa, so he’d better hurry up!

  12. Jane Heller

    No, Emma. I don’t think Boras is a vampire (you have been reading too many of those books!), but he does make us crazy with his demands. Still, it’s up to the players to tell Boras what they want. Nobody is twisting their arms to hold out for more money.

  13. Jane Heller

    Glad you’re putting your stamp of approval on Granderson, wetfeet. Have a good trip to the backwoods and enjoy a safe and happy holiday. Thanks for stopping by.

  14. wetfeet

    Congrads on Granderson, I had him on a fantasy team, he was one of the best point producer. To bad on Damon, he is a great player, with a very overateded agent. I blieve he had Damon bluff at the wrong time. I am off to the back woods, no computor. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours.

  15. rstorm453@aol.com

    Jane, I hate to admit this, but for the last few days, I’ve been constantly checking you, Lo-Hud, Blogging the Bombers, et al all in the hopes of seeing a headline like “Damon’s Back” or “Heeeeeeeere’s Johnny.” I’m clicking on those blogs every half hour like a junkie needing a fix. I mean, when I’m at the computer, I’m guilty of clicking my mouse every 15 minutes or so. My palms are sweaty, my blood pressure is out of sight, and I’m dizzy with anticipation.

    And then I see the headline of today’s “Confessions of a She-Fan!” What a relief! There is a God! My prayer is answered! Finally, finally, finally, the world looks level. All is well in Yankee Land. Johnny’s come marching home, again — Hurrah! Hurrah!

    So — Can you imagine my disappointment — nay, my heartbreak — when I read the first line and realize that you’re pulling our collective legs?

    So I have a request. Please, please, please go see your voodoo lady — the one who reads tarot cards — and see what kind of spell she can put on Cashman so he’ll make room at the inn for Johnny. What a Christmas gift that would make for all of us Yankee fans!

    Rob in Texas

  16. wirishrose81@yahoo.com

    Lol Jane! I wish my cafeteria at school had all those Yankees showing up to talk to me…here’s to hoping we all get a nice Christmas surprise…

  17. Jane Heller

    I’ve been checking the blogs for the same headlines, Rob. That’s why I felt the need to create one of my own. Sorry if I got your hopes up. I didn’t mean to break your heart, I swear!!!! I’ll have to make an appointment with Patricia, the tarot card reader, and find out what the cards say about Johnny. If I get any answers, you can be sure I’ll post them.

    Yeah, that cafeteria is always hopping, wirishrose. You never know which Yankee will show up there (or which wife). I hope we get a nice Christmas surprise too. Keep the faith!

  18. paulie_21

    This is why a lot of men want to keep the girlies out of the sports bars. You keep putting personal attachments and feelings above objective knowledge and logic–kind of like every other woman in the world. And why do we need a gigantic picture the size of Barry Bonds’ head after every three sentence paragraph, especially to illustrate mundane comments like a giant thumbs up? I can’t believe you have managed to get to the level you’re at. Although, to be positive, I find it encouraging. If someone like you can be successful babbling about your opinions (which, by the way, are no more interesting or insightful than any random blogger on this website), it gives the rest of us reason to hope. Congratulations, you are the Sarah Palin of baseball.

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