My 2009 Thanksgiving Saga

As always, my husband and I went down to LA for Thanksgiving at our friend Rhonda’s house. And as always, she set a beautiful table.
Thanksgiving Table.jpg
It’s hard to see in the pic I took, but this year her centerpiece was the Daytime Emmy she won for Best Show. (She produces “The Bold and the Beautiful.”) Talk about hardware. I think it weighed more than this.
Speaking of the Yankees, no sooner did I sit down at dinner when Mary Ann, my nemesis from last Thanksgiving, started trashing the boys in pinstripes. I had asked her if she wanted to take back what she’d said last year (“The Yankees can’t hit, pitch or run the bases”) in light of our World Series triumph.
“No,” she said. “I still hate the Yankees. They didn’t win the World Series. They bought it.”
OK, I was ready for that. I did my whole speech consisting of all the arguments I’d rehearsed, many of them suggested by readers of this blog. Nothing made a dent.
“Arte Moreno is a much better owner than the Steinbrenners,” she said.
“How many championships have the Angels won?” I asked with a straight face.
“That’s not relevant,” she said. “The Angels are a better team.”
“But the Yankees beat them,” I reminded her.
“If you spend enough money, you can beat anybody,” she replied.
At this point I wanted to leap across Rhonda’s beautiful table and strangle Mary Ann. Instead, respecting my hostess, I asked her if she wanted to take it outside.
“Sure,” she said. “Why not?”
Here’s the result. I’m not proud of what I did, but I had to stick up for my Yankees.
Yes, that’s me lying in a giant puddle of cranberry sauce. Mary Ann’s son Antonio is sitting in the chair joining his mother in a chant of “Yankees suck.” I wish I could show you the video of the confrontation, but I’d had a glass of champagne and it caused me to inadvertently hit the delete button after I recorded it. Luckily, Mary Ann and I made up before Rhonda took the turkey off the table and we were able to finish dinner without further incident. Except for her Yankee bashing, she’s really a very nice person. And the turkey was exceptionally tasty and perfectly carved.
turkey carved_450.jpg
As luck would have it, there was a new guest at the table this year – an actor named Robert who lives in LA but who was born and raised in New York. He turned out to be a Yankee fan, thank God, and while everybody else was cleaning up in the kitchen, we talked about our favorite team. He told one story that had everybody laughing, especially given the recent news about the White House party crashers.
Here’s Robert. I’m very excited about my assignment with him at the 2010 All-Star Game. You’ll understand after watching the vid. I hope everybody had a Happy Thanksgiving – or, as Robert said, a Happy Yanksgiving. πŸ™‚


  1. denyankfan

    You are too funny!!! I always like the argument that the Yankees buy championships. There are plenty of teams that spend a lot of money and don’t win it all. Lets see you have the Mets, the 2001-2008 Yankees, the Angels, they Red Sox for the most part. You have to play the games and make it happen on the field. Other owners could chose to spend money to make their teams better and play within the same rules but they choose not to. I think people are just jealous of the Yankees because they can’t beat the Yankees. How many titles to the Angels have? One or two? 27-1 or 27-2 is all you need to say!!!


    My compliments to Rhonda – the table looks beautiful.

    Jane, I told you to be careful with the cranberry sauce! Did it wash out of your hair easier than the champagne?

    The general wisdom is that one never discusses politics or religion at a dinner party. I think we may have to add our beloved Yankees to that list.



    Oh, that was delightful…and what a fine spread…if I was to eat at a place like that, after dinner I’d be singing “Help Me, Rhonda…help help me Rhonda…get me outa my chair!” Or, words to that effect. Yup, the Haters’ Mantra everywhere today is “They Bought It” — so I try to suggest that, hey, you should sing “They FINALLY Bought It” for greater (meaner?) accuracy…poor pitiful Anaheim, and Bahston too…they’ll just have to spend more. BTW, wish I could get in a Cranberry Fight at Thanxgivin’ — every year, me dear ol’ mother-in-law makes enuf cranberry compote glop to feed the Greek Army — nobody but me (no other Human Beinz) care to eat the inevitable ten pounds of Cranny’s Leftovers until Xmas, when we get…you guessed it — another Sixteen Tons of Cranberry! I used to love it, once upon a time, but as the holidays slither by…well, it’s now down there with fruitcake as Least Desired holiday foods. Sigh. But hey, how GREAT that you found a new Yankee Fan…and a clever handsome one too, dahlink…so…prractice yor Rossian for next Stars-All match in home of angels…da??


    While you were still outnumbered it must have been nice to have a new addition that was on your side. The interview was great. From now on we will definitely be saying “Happy Yanksgiving” — glad you had fun.

    Yes, we mostly watched football and all the teams I rooted for lost. Even though all of our guests decided not to come to Thanksgiving dinner due to illness, we still made the whole turkey and reduced versions of all the side dishes. We can take the meat leftovers and fresh veggies, etc. with us to East Chatham.


    Were you or Robert aware of the fact that MLBN had a rebroadcast the 1989 All Star game at Anaheim last night?


  6. Jane Heller

    There’s no convincing people, denveryanksfan. They don’t understand that spending money, per se, is never going to work or the Yankees would have won the championship every year. The trick is to spend money wisely – AND to be lucky that the entire team stays healthy.

    She did have a beautiful table, Melissa. Every year she does a different setting. I wish I hadn’t deleted her video where she holds up the Emmy and says, “I want to thank all my Thanksgiving guests without whom the show would never have won.” Oh, well. I agree about politics and religion, but talking about the Yankees always livens things up – for better or worse.

    I’d love to try the Russian thing at spring training, John. Just one problem. I’d have to go in disguise. The Yankees know what I look like now and I doubt very much I could pass Jane Heller off as Svetlana Petrovsky!

    I feel the same way you do about cranberry glop, Dave. LOL. It’s right down on the list with fruitcake. And yes, I was lucky that Robert joined the group this year. He’s from Long Island and bleeds pinstripes as you could see. So we had fun talking about the boys and ragging on opposing players we’re not wild about. And as I just wrote to John, I’d have trouble passing myself off as a Russian journalist in Yankeeville, but for the All-Star game? I’m in.

    Happy Yanksgiving! Wasn’t that a good one, Diane? It’s my new motto. Sorry your football teams lost yesterday but glad you got to enjoy a scaled down turkey dinner. I hope you have a wonderful time in East Chatham (so pretty there) and maybe a side trip to Cooperstown?

    No, Laurie! Really? How funny. Robert and I were busy with the other guests for hours and no one was watching TV!

  7. Jane Heller

    Sounds like a great idea, Lillie, even if I AM pretending to be a Russian journalist! It would be great to see you and hang with other Yankee fans.

  8. latinyankeerebel

    Hey Jane! I’m really planning to fly out from Panama to the All Star Game! We should organize a group of Yankee fans so we can meet over there and go tot he game together and whatnot!! :0)


    Dahlink, here’s how I zink yoo can pull off ze Rossian thing…wear a wig…overdo the parfum (or ‘eau de toilette’)…and rent out the new “Star Trek” movie, which BTW, is pretty darn good, even for a former Trekkie like me (in fact, it’s SO good that a non-Trekkie like my wife really liked it)…the young Russian character Chekov has an accent that you can cut with a butcher knife…wear a pillow under your garments, so your waif-like reed-thin frame will be obscured, and that just might do it…!?!

  10. Jane Heller

    Ah, so you want me to go to spring training in disguise, Dave. Only problem with the pillow and the wig is it’s hot in Tampa. I’d sweat to death. πŸ™‚

  11. raysrenegade

    You always have best dinner guests.
    Why is it you always have the famous,the popular and also the wild people within your social circle.
    Must be the “NY” hat.
    Seriously, why doesn’t your friend get you a background acting gig in the crowds on ” The Bold and the Beautiful”. It would increase your status in the She Fan community, plus get you some more fantastic material for your life biography.
    Sometimes I think we all live through your adventures.

    Rays Renegade


    As always Jane, it was great to spend Thanksgiving with you bickering over our teams and ultimately duking it out girl-style in a river of cranberry sauce. I’m sure they’ve cleaned the alley up by now. A parting thought: There’s always next year! And neither of my teams (Angels/Dodgers) will tank in the future, I can assure you. Be prepared to defend those slackers you have become so fond of. Repeat? When pigs fly, my friend.

  13. wetfeet

    Jane just be glad you were in CA Talking about the Yankees if you Had been in Texas, you would had to be more careful because you never know who is packing lead. All though you would have to say something about the Dallas Cowboys to get anyones attention. That is why I come here to follow your blog, just to be on the safe side. I wish you and every one a happy holiday season!

  14. wetfeet

    Jane just be glad you were in CA Talking about the Yankees if you Had been in Texas, you would had to be more careful because you never know who is packing lead. All though you would have to say something about the Dallas Cowboys to get anyones attention. That is why I come here to follow your blog, just to be on the safe side. I wish you and every one a happy holiday season!

  15. Jane Heller

    And I thought I was living through YOUR adventures, Renegade. We should trade places some time! My friend Rhonda has invited me to have a walk-on part on her show any time. Maybe one of these days I’ll take her up on it. But seriously. Do I really want to walk around a set with actresses who look gorgeous even in HD? Scary.

    Well, look who’s here. It’s Mary Ann herself – my Thanksgiving cranberry flinging buddy! I can’t wait till next year when we can go at it again. I’ll bet you that my “slackers” will not only repeat but leave your teams in the dust! xxoo

    I’ll be very careful if I’m ever in Texas, wetfeet. Good advice. Happy holiday to you too!

  16. Jane Heller

    That’s my job, Elizabeth – sticking up for my team. I know you would do the same if you’d been in my situation! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.


    Great post Jane! Way to stick up for our boys! All that smack talk against then is just jealously, plain and simple. The Mets fans at my Thanksgiving were gracious about the Yanks winning and were even rooting for them during the WS. And get this…my uncle told us all how last week he had to go to Jeter’s apartment building for work! He asked whoever he was with what floor Jeter lived on and they said “Well you’re standing right above his bedroom now”. They also told him stories about how nice Jeter is.
    Glad you had a good “Yanksgiving”!


  18. Jane Heller

    Oh, gee. I see my responses are being published above the comments again. Grrrrr.

    I’m glad the Mets fans were gracious to you, wirishrose. They probably wanted the Yankees to beat the Phillies. And how funny that your uncle was standing over Jeter’s bedroom. If only walls could talk. LOL! Happy Yanksgiving to you.

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