Well, I won’t be playing, obviously, but you know what I mean. I’ve been thinking about the Twins-versus-Tigers question and it’s a really tough call.
First, I start thinking I’d rather play the Twins because the Yankees have such a winning record against them. But then I start thinking maybe they’re due to beat us. And then I start picturing us having to show up at the Metrodome with the noise and the white dish towels and the hideous green shag carpeting.
Verdict? I’d rather play the Tigers. They’ve been slumping and it’s doubtful Verlander would be available to pitch Game 1. Their roster doesn’t include Joe Mauer or Joe Nathan, which is a plus. And they play in Comerica Park, which is a nice normal stadium. Oh, and Miguel Cabrera might not have his head in the series.
On the other hand, the Tigers eliminated us in ’06. They do have Verlander, as well as Jackson and Porcello. They also have Curtis Granderson, Magglio Ordonez, Carlos Guillen, Aubrey Huff and Placido Domingo.
And to manage the team, they have that crafty, craggy, curmudgeonly Jim Leyland.
Maybe I’d rather play the Twins after all. Their nickname makes them sound so benign and sweet and easy to digest, doesn’t it?
I don’t even think the Tigers have a cute little nickname. It’s not the Baby Tigers. And it certainly isn’t this.
So maybe I do want to play the Twinkies. Except that there might be a lot of confusion in the broadcast booth, since we have a Gardy….
…and they have a Gardy.
Also, the Twins have Cuddyer, Span and that Yankees killer Orlando Cabrera. Scary. And they have the powerful Jason Kugel too.
But facing Carl Pavano would be a treat. Yes, he’s pitched well for the Twins but how cool would it be to have him back at Yankee Stadium with all the fans to greet him?
So I guess my choice is the Twins. But they’ve been on such a roll lately.
No, it’s the Tigers. But they could get a huge confidence boost if they win Tuesday’s playoff.
Twins. Tigers. Twins. Tigers.
OK, I don’t care! Either team is fine! This whole exercise is exhausting!