Owned in Anaheim

There’s something about this place. Something sinister, unsavory, possibly even toxic. 
Yes, the Angels are a very good ball club, but the Yankees just beat them in the Bronx. So there must be a reason why Figgy, Vladie and company bring us to our knees every time we play them in Anaheim.
In tonight’s 5-2 loss, Pettitte was solid in his first outing since complaining of shoulder fatigue, but Girardi seemed to throw in the towel when he brought Bruney in for the seventh.
The offense didn’t do much, except for solo shots by A-Rod and Matsui. Jeter and Posada came ready to play, but the others?
Damon: 0-for-4
Tex: 0-for-4
Swisher: 0-for-4
Cano: 0-for-4.
You can’t win games when your bats are missing in action.
That said, things always go wrong for the Yankees in Anaheim. So what’s the cause? Seriously. WHAT IS IT? Here are a few theories.
#1) The Yankees are allergic to the grass at Angel Stadium.
#2) The Angels’ chef poisons the food in the visitor’s clubhouse whenever the Yanks come to town. Phil Coke was diagnosed with “acute gastritis” today and was confined to his hotel room, so it could happen to any of them.
#3) There are too many hot blondes in the O.C., making it difficult for the Yankees to concentrate on the games. (The Angels are used to the distraction.)
#4) There is entirely too much red, both in the stands and on the field. It makes the Yankees go temporarily blind.

#5) Mike Scoscia hires an old gypsy guy to cast a spell on the Yankees. (All things are possible when you’re only a freeway ride away from Hollywood.)
Are any of the above the root of the problem? I don’t know, but if the Yankees don’t pull off a win tomorrow night, I’ll be asking MLB to launch an investigation.


  1. lenn23

    I know that they’re going to make the playoffs and most likely win the division but they’ve got to do better than this. Just want one win in Southern California this year! Pettitte was very good and that is probably the most important thing going into the playoffs. Bruney stunk and he should change his number again but this time to zero. Well, at least the Red Sox lost finally!

  2. luckylori

    Why do 8 socks go into the washer and only 7 come out? Why does the first half tank of gas last way longer than the second half? Why can’t the Yankees win in Anaheim? All great mysteries of life; forever pondered but never solved. 😉

  3. scofid

    The tide has to turn eventually, doesn’t it? Geesh! I am ready for some wins in Anaheim. After all, it only takes one to lock up a play-off spot. The Yankees need to get creative in finding an effective slumpbuster! It’s time to turn this machine on. October’s a-comin’!


  4. diane.anziano@gmail.com

    It was so disturbing, Jane. We couldn’t do anything against these Angels other than the two solo homers that didn’t have any positive effect. Seems like even when we got a hit early in an inning it was immediately followed by a double play.

    I’m so concerned about a total meltdown – I know there is virtually no possibility of The Yankees going winless for the rest of the season but we really need to end the season in first place and with the best record so we have home field advantage throughout the post season. I know I sound like a broken record but I just needed to say it. The team has to step up and they have to do so now. GO YANKEES!!!

  5. yankeemeg

    I wonder if Chuck Norris checks under his bed for the Angels before he goes to sleep. Anaheim is a house of horrors. I BEG for one win. Beg, I say. Oh jeez, what is my existance coming to?!!!! AGH!

  6. Jane Heller

    Len, the good news (and there was some) was Andy. The fact that he got over his shaky first inning and pitched well – and without pain – was huge for us. But the Yanks made some mental mistakes, which they always seem to do in Anaheim. Not good.

    This mystery will be solved, Lori! As I said, I’m going to ask MLB to launch an investigation and put George Mitchell on the case. Oh, wait. Maybe not. 🙂

    Cat, you’re really going to Anaheim on Wednesday? That’s fantastic! Now I know the Yankees will win. And yes, you will go home in one piece. The fans may bark, but they don’t bite.

    The tide should have turned already, Scott. What’s taking so long???? I think they should get creative too – like maybe today’s lineup should be all Scranton call ups, since they have no baggage. Well, and maybe A-Rod too, since he hits bombs there.

    It’s disturbing all right, Diane. The Yanks are in a little slump, Anaheim or no Anaheim, and they need to play their way out of it, getting hot again just in time for the playoffs. Right now, they just have to do their best today and tomorrow, and then home cooking will be awaiting them.

    Do the Mets spaz out at Turner Field, Paul? I didn’t know that. Well, maybe it’s the same syndrome. I mean, this Angel Stadium thing has been going on for years and it’s enough already.

    See that, Jeff? Number three is a definite distraction. It could be the underlying cause of the Yankees’ problems in Anaheim.

    It’s sad when we have to beg, isn’t it, Megan? I mean, really. The indignity of it all. It’s a baseball stadium, like all the others. What’s the big deal? Why can’t the Yanks just go out there and win a damn ball game?

  7. respectjetersgangster@gmail.com

    Tough game last night. The Yankees really can’t seem to get anything going in Anaheim. Here’s hoping Cy Chad shows up tonight.

  8. Jane Heller

    HAHA, Austin. So the answer is the lady AND the red? That means distraction plus blindness. Now I see that the problem for the Yankees is twofold.

  9. Jane Heller

    “Cy Chad.” I like the sound of that, rjg. If only. But maybe he’s the one who will break their spell over us. I know. I’m dreaming.

  10. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Jane, I have to agree that it must be #3…after all, if our Yanks of today are anything like their ancestors (Mickey, Whitey, Joe Pep, even Hank Bauer)…well…***-ume the rest, so to speak!! But maybe there’s more we can do…how about…KIDNAP THE RALLY MONKEY? Okay, lotsa times it doesn’t seem to matter, we’re already waay behind by the 7th inning…but once in a Blue Moon, ya know, wouldn’t it be great if they went to the monkey, and…NO MONKEY? Hey, college kids do it to other school’s mascots all the time! Or maybe spray paint that nasty little simian with BLUE pinstripes, and then send it back…IT…COULD…WORK! Well, maybe until something ELSE works out better…?!?

  11. Jane Heller

    That’s two – or is it three? – votes for the red lady, Buz. Maybe she sits right behind home plate for optimum distraction.

    OK, Dave. Now it’s four votes for the red lady. As for kidnapping the monkey, I guess it could work and it’s certainly worth a try since nothing else seems to do the trick. Would you be willing to fly back out to CA and do the deed?

  12. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Hmmm…a tempting offer, that one! Wonder if we could submit it to the Yanks themselves, for approval onto their expenses…after all, after a few hundred mill, what’s a plane ride cost? And I have ANOTHER thought…you know, that’s not REALLY Angel Stadium…like those Dan Brown books, the clue is “hidden in plain sight”…look CLOSELY at your picture…it’s really ANGELA Stadium! A-Haa!! So NOW we know the identity of the Hot Blonde In Red! Now, if we can’t catch the Rally Monkey, we could always kidnap Angela…all right, boys, who’s with me? Whaddya think o’that?!? We could chain her to somebody’s basement, like they did in “Ruthless People,” maybe up Santa Barbara way…and make her do exercise videos all day, or somethin’…or make her read “She-Fan,” and she’ll wanna don pinstripes and change allegiances! It…could…work?!?

  13. Jane Heller

    Dave, you figured it out. Finally. It’s ANGELA stadium, so there must be an Angela running the show. We’ve got to find her and talk some sense into her, and maybe our fortunes will change. Or maybe the Yankees could just start playing like a first place team. Ya think?????

  14. Joe Kotsovos

    I think it’s just a matter of the Yankees needing to get up for a game. Their division lead hasn’t seemed vulnerable until now. The Yankees are going to straighten themselves out. They didn’t build the best record in baseball while playing in the toughest division by being a bad team. The true Yankees will emerge. Everyone is looking ahead to October and these games seem like a mere formality, although they aught to know that they need to have a good showing against LAA, at least for their confidence’s sake.


  15. southernbelle

    Jane: Seriously, the Yankees have to pull themselves together. They are 4-6 in their last 10 games. That is not Yankee-like. This is a huge week for them. They HAVE TO WIN both series just for my well-being. Okay, at least the Red Sox series. If they don’t, you might hear about some tragic event happening to me. I might hurt myself. Or someone else. WIN FOR ME, BOYS!
    I know you said Mitre pitched well the other day, but I would have just LOVED to actually see you say that. I love him…
    I think the “red” is too much for the Yankees, lol. They are used to white and blue. The blondes, that is a possibility. Especially for Melky. After seeing that video you posted….yeah. I think that’s what it is.
    The Yankees better win tonight or I might not be able to see tomorrow.

  16. Jane Heller

    Joe, I think you’re so right about the challenge of having to get up for these late September games. I know everybody says it should be easy, because they’re playing for the division and home field, etc. But I remember from ’07 when I was on the road following the team that there’s a letdown when you know you’re going to clinch at some point and it’s just a matter of time. That said, they need to prove they can beat the Angels in Anaheim – for confidence sake, as you rightly said.

    I wish I’d never posted that video of Melky, Virginia, because it’s embedded in my brain and I’d love to get rid of the image! Yes, the boys do need to get it together and they will. We’ll pull them through whether they like it or not. So stay calm and positive and it’ll happen (I hope).

    There isn’t nearly as much red at Fenway, Emma. More blue and red. In Anaheim, it’s all red all the time! Yikes!

  17. Jane Heller

    Must be that gypsy guy that’s cursing us, diamondgirl. I appreciate your support for a win tonight. The Yankees need all the help they can get!

  18. heartruss

    Jane, I found a fantastic ticket in the 9th row at the edige of the visitors dugout tomorrow. I am right behind the batters circle. I am so excited. I am wearing Dodger blue and will be cheering the Yankees on for you and Virginia. I hope for a huge Yankees win. AJ Burnett is pitching. I have a good feeling. If I see one rally monkey I may throw up!
    Wish you were sitting next to me.

  19. ibleedpinstripes

    If Chuck Norris was on the Yankees, we wouldn’t need any offense… or defense… or pitching. We’d just be undefeated by default. LOL. I’m sick of these Halos… could it be that they have help from heaven above? I’d like to think God is a New York fan, ya know? Haha.

    – Lisa

  20. Jane Heller

    Of course God is a Yankee fan, Lisa! No question about it. LOL. I’m sick of the Halos too, but we have to hope Chad is better than we ever thought possible.

  21. Jane Heller

    Cat, I can’t believe you got such a great seat! You’ll be right there staring at my Yankees!!!!!! (And hopefully taking pics of them, like you do with the Dodgers.) I’ll look for you on TV, so wave to us. And yes, by all means feel free to choke a monkey.

  22. travelingbballbabes

    We’re planning for May! I can’t wait! : ) While there, I’ll be sure to put out a “hit” on that damn monkey.

  23. Jane Heller

    I hear you, Buz. I’m watching Red Sox-Royals while I wait. No, I’m not at the game. When I go to Anaheim, they lose. So I stayed home for the good of the Yankees!

    You are going, Serena? That’s so great. But you should also come out in late June for Yankees-Dodgers. I’ll be at that series for sure.

  24. Jane Heller

    They’ve figured it out so far, 09indians, but it’s only the fourth inning. Plenty of baseball left. I’m cautiously optimistic!

  25. raysrenegade

    I want to blame the Rally Monkey, but he is pretty snooty nowadays and doesn’t do interviews.
    I want to blame the fake waterfall aka Magic Mountain terrain in miniature that springs up in centerfield.
    I want to blame that over-sized hat that could only fit Milton Bradley’s anger or ego right now out in front of the stadium.
    But mostly, I have to blame a smart scouting staff that has either plucked or seen their home grown ballplayers like Howie Kendricks mature in front of their eyes.
    Even the best teams in baseball lose out there, so it is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as it is not a playoff series
    (Ask Boston about that).

    Rays Renegade


  26. zkonedog

    Although I like the hot blonde explanation (!), I think that the Yankees have troubled winning in Anaheim simply because the Angels don’t do many things wrong. They can wear-down pitchers with the 1-9 batters, plus they have good starting pitching (though no studs) and a solid pen. Add in the fundamental baseball that Scoscia instills in them and they are tough to beat in any ballpark anyway (unless, of course, you happen to be the Red Sox in the ALDS…they seem to have a pretty easy time of it!).

  27. Jane Heller

    They do have a good team, Renegade, no question. And while home grown players like Kendrick are huge, it’s the combo of Abreu, Hunter, Vlad and Matthews – not home grown – who kill us.

    The Angels don’t make a lot of mistakes, zkonedog. They’re very good defensively and they bunch their hits, run the bases well, etc. But the Yanks aren’t chopped liver and the Angels’ dominance in Anaheim is puzzling.

  28. Joe Kotsovos

    Tonight was the antithesis of a typical Yankees vs. Angels game. Now we know how the Angels feel when they do it to us 🙂 Great game!

  29. Jane Heller

    It was such a great game, Joe. We hit the long ball, stole a base, bunted, sac flied. Everything was clicking except those errors.

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