The Walk-Off Wounded

I’m still basking in the afterglow of the Yankees’ 4-3 defeat of the Blue Jays – yet another game they won in thrilling, walk-off fashion. What’s not to love about this team? Sure, they frustrate me sometimes. AJ was throwing wild pitches like a madman. Pena allowed himself to be picked off first base. Matsui was 0-for-5. But I can’t argue with the way the 2009 Bombers nearly always find a way to escape the jaws of defeat.
But as they head to Seattle to begin their long road trip, all is not well in Yankeeville. Not medically speaking. The sudden casualties?
* Jeter was hit on the foot in the first inning. Diagnosis? Contusion.
* Posada caught a foul tip off the knuckle of his middle finger in the eighth. Diagnosis? Contusion.
* A-Rod was drilled on his elbow in the 11th. Diagnosis? Contusion.
* Mo complained of shoulder soreness. Diagnosis? “Crankiness,” according to Girardi.
I decided to fly out to Seattle myself and harass Yankees head trainer Gene Monahan for answers. 
Here’s our conversation.
She-Fan: Thanks for taking the time to chat, Gene. I’m really worried about Jeter, Posada, A-Rod and Mo. Can you update me on their conditions?
Gene: They’re suffering from contusions.
She-Fan: What IS a contusion anyway?
Gene: An abrasion. A trauma. An ecchymosis.
She-Fan: Please spare me the medical jargon and speak English, Gene.
Gene: Fine. They’ve got shiners. Black-and-blue marks.
She-Fan: What about Mo? Girardi said his shoulder was cranky. Can a shoulder even BE cranky?
Gene: That’s just Joe being Joe. Mo’s shoulder is crabby, not cranky.
She-Fan: That’s so funny I forgot to laugh. Why are the Yankees secretive with the media when it comes to injuries?
Gene: You’re not the media, She-Fan. You’re just a blogger.
She-Fan: And you’re not a doctor, Gene Monahan. You’re just a trainer.
Gene: Good point. Forgive me.
She-Fan: I’ll consider it if you make sure my boys are healthy.
Gene: I’ll do my best.

So there you have it. Gene Monahan had a bit of an attitude, but he said he’ll do his best. I just hope it’s good enough.


  1. lenn23

    This is going to be one long-*** road trip! A lot of late nights here on the East Coast. Hopefully these injuries and the combo of Sergio and Chad don’t wreak too much havoc on their won/loss record. Although Chad did pitch good against Toronto. Three out of four in Seattle, two out of three in Oakland and I don’t know in Boston. It’s too soon to think about the Sox again. Can’t we have a rest from those games!


    We were at Jets training camp at Hofstra University from about 4 pm on but luckily we were sitting near a lady who brought a radio to catch the rest of the Yankees game and my daughter kept checking her phone for the score as well. As soon as we heard the fans get loud on the radio we knew the game was over and we knew Cano hit the game winner; we just didn’t know if it was a single or a HR. Just happy to know it was another win at an afternoon game to head to the left coast. We’re going to see “Burn The Floor” on Broadway tonight and will still be able to catch some of the game due to time difference. Glad we will at least have one day’s rest coming off the west coast before heading into Boston to try and sweep the Red Sux again. Gee, I’m really glad Sux isn’t censored. GO YANKEES!!


    Dear Jane,
    My brain works in mysterious ways, as u know. After yesterday’s triumph, I was musically inspired AGAIN (oh no…)! This stuff just sorta hits me, ya know, like spaghetti on a wall? To honor our hero, before this dangerous road trip begins, let’s all sing (to the tune of “Nobody But Me,” by The Human Beinz)…
    “No…no…no…no…Cano, no, no,
    “No…no…Cano…no, no, NO, no [repeat, lotsa no’s & Canos]
    Nobody can do a SINGLE THRU like he do…
    Nobody make ’em touch the PLATE like he do…
    Nobody can make the BLUE JAYS BLUE like he do…
    Nobody can challenge PHILLY like he do…!”
    Okaay…enough of that!! After reading your posting, I was also tempted to rewrite the song “Transfusion” by Nervous Norvus into “Contusion,” but thought (far) better of it. Let’s all hope we have enough healthy warriors to survive Seattle…after all that, I’m mentally writing off tonite’s game, but who knows? “Here’s to you, MISTER Robinson…!”

  4. matttan7

    Yankees won that game on a dramatic Walk-off. Isn’t that great, I hope AJ Burnett gets to throw another pie at another Yankees player that hits a walk-off. Winning in dramatic fashion never old. The conversation with Gene, whoa, be careful there, I found that interesting. Anyways, another west coast trip, hopefully the Yankees will do better than last time.

    Matthew Tang

  5. southernbelle

    Jane: Gene seems a little “cranky” himself! I wish the Yankees would stop being babied and just go out there and play like MEN! Mickey Mantle was taped up like a mummy everyday, and he dragged himself onto the field everyday and was the best there ever was. He wasn’t babied! That goes for the innings limit with Joba as well. Just let the guy pitch! He is a pitcher!
    Another dramatic win for the Yanks. They are living up to the nickname! I grant you permission to use “The Drama Club” nickname as you please! -Virginia

  6. adirondackgal46

    That was funny…I loved it! Jeter says he is ok and told Kim Jones he will play tonight. I am not looking forward to this roadtrip but I love the way we are winning games…never gets old. Thanks for making me laugh everyday Jane.

  7. Jane Heller

    Len, I wasn’t impressed with Gaudin’s pitch count last night. He did throw a couple of scoreless innings, but it took him 40+ pitches to do it. If he keeps that up, it’ll be a long day for the relievers.

    I love your definition of contusion, Cat. I knew I could count on you for the correct medical terminology, since you’re a professional!

    You are one busy person, Diane! Cano’s walk-off was such a thrill, given his troubles with RISP. I was very happy for him. But now I just hope this isn’t the road trip from hell. Please let them keep winning.

    I’d be glad to have a chat with Mattingly, Emma. There’s so much I’d love to ask him! And it’s not related to injuries!

    Thanks, FBC. It’s been a nice run with a different hero every night. Your guys seem to have come back to life too.

    Contusions, shmushions, Jeff. I agree. Get out there and do your job!

    I was mentally writing off tonight’s game too, Dave, until I realized it was bad luck to do that against the Blue Jays on Monday night. So now I’m saying to myself, “Of course we’ll win. Injuries? What injuries?” Whatever works.

    I love the pie after the walk-offs, Matthew, and can’t wait for the Yankees to come back to the Bronx to continue the fun.

    I love Jeter, but I’m not sure I’d kiss his foot, Jenn. Fandom only takes me so far!

    Poor Mickey, Virginia. You brought back memories of the Mick limping to the plate and still knocking them into the stands. Talk about a wounded warrior.

    Jen, that’s quite a compliment! They’re really not that hate-able. I promise.

    Jeter would say he’s ready to play even if his foot was hanging off his leg, adirondackgal! I’m sure he’ll play unless he really can’t run.

    Why do you want our guys to stop winning, Peter? It’s not as if the Yankees are in the NL! Let us win!


    Dschaub, you’re renditions are amazing! I’m singing it all day again. Since we’re headed for Seattle can you write your next lyrics to a Kurt Cobain song? That should all but guarantee us a win!

  9. Jane Heller

    Diane, I love that you’re enjoying Dave’s tunes! Dave, are you hearing this?

    The games are great this season, JQuist. I couldn’t agree more. Yes, there are duds in there, but for the most part they’ve been pure fun.

  10. ibleedpinstripes

    I never thought Geno was the fiesty kind… Hmmm, interesting. LOL.

    I really hope everything turns out okay. I don’t want things to fall apart over a couple of bruises. That would definitely not be ideal.

    Despite what’s going on with these ‘injuries’ if you can call them that, I’m keeping my head up for this road trip. Things will turn out great, I mean it!

    – Lisa

  11. utleyeveryday

    That shark picture is sick. That guy’s gonna get a contusion for sure. Anyway, I hope your yanks are ready for my Phils come October. We’re bringing the same bats with some new and improved arms. You might remember one of them. A Mr. Pedro Martinez? Start doubling up on that BP. Congrats on all the traffic!


  12. Jane Heller

    See what you learned about Geno, Lisa? LOL. I’m sure he’s a very sweet guy. And after so many years with the Yankees, I assume he knows what he’s doing! I know Joe was giving A-Rod a day off tonight, but I hope his elbow is OK. Jeter seems to be OK since he’s in the lineup. I haven’t heard anything more about Mo, which worries me.

    I’d love it if my Yanks made it to the WS, Adam. I just don’t take anything for granted and am hoping we win tonight’s game against the Mariners. One day at a time for me. I’m very superstitious!

  13. crazy19canuck

    Hi Jane!
    Good luck against the Mariners. At least you won’t have to stay up ’til all hours to watch them play! LOL!
    Amy’s loving this being in first place thing. I never hear the end of it. Oh well….she’s quite the little baseball fan now, can even read a box score! (I’ve been working on her!)
    She’s been reading your blog, Virginia’s and Scott’s…Yankees all the way for her. I think I need to find her a ball cap for her b-day!

  14. 2yankeeboy

    Awh i was hoping more from that song after i heard the lollipop version. . . but you gave it a good try! I hope th ewalk offs keep on rollin

  15. Jane Heller

    I love that Amy’s a little baseball/Yankee fan, Ginny. So cute. She might like the video I just posted. And by all means, get her a cap for her birthday!

    I hope the walk-offs keep rolling too, 2yankeeboy. Love ’em.

    The Mariners didn’t get good pitching from Snell tonight, diamondgirl. And CC was dominant. What can you do? And I hear you on the love/hate. It’s part of being a passionate fan!

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