Yankees-Red Sox: No More Goose Egg

Well, that was a relief.
Still, I wouldn’t call the Yankees’ 13-6 victory over Boston a well-played game. Not when our pitchers walked TWELVE batters…when Joba had his worst start since the break…when Posada inexplicably trotted home instead of sliding. But the offense pummeled Smoltz and Traber, and their effort put the Yanks up by 3 1/2 in the division. It was an honest-to-goodness drubbing – the kind of game where you can sit back and just enjoy the show. I had to leave the house after the fifth to teach my writing workshop, but I watched the rest when I got home. It was late by the time I saw Vicky Martinez make the final out, but it was worth staying up for. Beating the Red Sox is delicious, any way it happens.
Now it’s on to Friday night with AJ facing Josh Beckett. Clearly, Beckett isn’t Smoltz. We’ll be facing a pitcher who isn’t on the verge of retirement (or should be). So how can we beat him and take two in a row in this series? Once again, I went to the videotape for answers.
#1) Obviously, Josh Beckett likes jewelry. That watch is the size of my head. But it’s his Phiten titanium necklace (Joba wears one too, and look how that worked out) that gives him a sense of health, energy and well-being. If I’m the Yankees, I steal Beckett’s necklace before the game. He’ll be convinced he’s lost his magic power and possibly freak out.
#2) He said, speaking of his health: “The last time I was a hundred percent, I was sixteen years old.” That would suggest he has a few aches and pains – not a surprise given how knock-kneed he is. If I’m the Yankees, I not only make him throw a lot of pitches but bunt early and often, forcing him to bend over.
#3) As for the Papelbon part of the video, if he comes in to pitch I would simply show him a picture of himself with his celebrity look-alike and wait for him to implode.
Speaking of look-alikes, I hear David Ortiz is having a press conference on Saturday with Peter Gammons standing by to report. Will Ian McKellen play Gammons in the movie version?


  1. lenn23

    I’ll take a win anyway that it could be gotten, although that was a hell of a lot of walks. I hope A J fares a little bit better this time around against them. Papelbon is very much like Bart Simpson but with an Eric Cartman personality. Looking at what I’ve written here it looks like I might need your writing class!

  2. ibleedpinstripes

    No more goose egg is right! You do love to analyze tape. You should be a scout or something. Your suggestions would definitely make you rather unique. LOL. A sloppy win, yes, but a win nonetheless. As you said, it’s delicious any way it comes, and how!

    FYI: I almost died when I saw Bart Simpson.

    – Lisa

  3. luckylori

    Jane…no doubt you’re sleeping like a baby tonight. Could this mean your new, ahem, “rabbit’s foot” is working out for you? 1 down, 3 more to go. If anyone can get to Beckett right now it’s your Yankees. Papelbon=Bart…too funny!

  4. diane.anziano@gmail.com

    We obviously needed a win to get Boston out of our heads. I was thrilled with the drubbing. Yes, we walked way too many of them but gave up very few hits (at least until the 9th) and Boston left a ton of runners on base, something we have frequently done in the past. Obviously our success was due at least in part to the opposite of the “new pitcher we’ve never seen before” curse. We were all laughing when the Red Sox brought out a pitcher named Reddick. You can’t make this stuff up. We missed the last game in Toronto because of the free concert in our town (This time it was The Lovin’ Spoonful which were great BTW) — tonight’s concert is 70’s Disco Night – we will be seeing Tavares and Martha Wash — Maxine Nightingale was cancelled due to family health matter but she was replaced last minute by The Trammps which should be great!! I think I prefer deciding to watch the repeat of the game once I know the final score. Hopefully the Yankees fans can sing “Its Raining Homeruns” — but just for the pinstripes. GO YANKEES!!!

  5. scofid

    John Smoltz definitely does not look like the dominant pitcher he was for so many years in Atlanta. If this is it for him, it is a tough way to go out. I hope he has a few more good starts in him before it’s done…so long as the Yankees sustain their lead. I remember when Earl Weaver called Don Stanhouse “Full Pack” for the stress he would give Weaver, causing him to smoke through a pack of cigarettes. Girardi was probably looking for some bad vice while Joba was walking all those batters. Perhaps he ate two protein bars instead of one! LOL! I was surprised that Boston didn’t capitalize on all those free baserunners. Oh well, Yankees win! 🙂


  6. junojen

    I guess I am the first Red Sox fan to leave a comment here today… What can I say? We stunk up the joint last night. Smoltz is definitely not the pitcher he used to be. I hate to see a great athlete go out with a wimper. Mussina did it the right way by retiring after a 20 win season. I’m not sure I would have!

    Well, last night is history and today is a new day. No comment on the Bart Simpson resemblance but your Peter Gammons it dead-on great!


  7. latinyankeerebel

    Hey Jane! I’m kind of back into posting, noticed it is a stress relief of mine. Although, I do really read you blog every day. Last night’s game was awesome because we won, but the pitching wasn’t very good as you mentioned, but beating Boston is like winning as good as winning the Mega Million (or as I think it would feel like because I have never won it… hahahaha).

    Bart Simpson?? really??? you have just insulted, deeply, a cartoon character… Poor Bart.

  8. ooaooa

    Ah, life is good! Another “old fashioned Sox vs Yanks game”! Good managing moves by Joe with the pen. Stadium looked like Central Park with all the “walkers”. A victory tonight will make my trip to R.I. beach Saturday very pleasant. Close your eyes and picture knocking Beckett out in the 3rd inning. Sweet thought!

  9. NatMeg

    Jane, how do you feel about Papelbon’s insistence on taking at least 10 freaking minutes before he throws each pitch? I was at the Orioles/Red Sox game last Friday in Baltimore and when he came in in the 9th I wanted to rip my hair out. He turned what could have been a 10/15-minute inning into a 30-minute ordeal with all his prep and his walking around the pitcher’s mound and his deep breaths. UGH!

  10. juliasrants

    First – You’re welcome! It took the Red Sox coming to town for the Yankees to get their second home sell-out of the season. (The Yankees couldn’t even sell out opening day in the new stadium?). And second – it would be in the Yankees best interest not to hit any Red Sox batters tonight. Mr. Melancon’s “throwing exercise” in the 8th was not amusing. After the first pitch went over Pedey’s head – in a game where the Yankees were up by 9 – the second pitch should never have been thrown that close inside. Even my 12 year old who was more interested in his new video game asked “What – is he trying to hurt Pedroia?”


  11. jihnyyanks@cs.com

    Finally! Could we be “reversing the curse”?! I was playing Yankees Scrabble with my kids during the game. Maybe this helped them. We’ll play again tonight!

  12. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Okay. We got One. Finally. Even a blind squirrel…well, you know. One key factor in the Bosox rise to prominence, a la the old Orioles and our last dynasty too, is infinite patience in taking pitches. All those teams got lotsa free passes, extra runners, and gift-wrapped runs. If AJ isn’t aware of that…well, certainly he is. Beckett will come after us, but if the Jet Stream holds up, that may not be so bad…recall the look on Verlander’s face when Tex or A-Rod hit a wind-aided tater in that 2-1 Tiger game? Lucky, but c’est la guerre. OK then. Last nite was clear-cut; if we couldn’t beat Old Smoltz with Young Joba, we coulda been swept away. Now it’s REALLY on. No more messin’ around…

  13. Jane Heller

    Len, I hope AJ was watching carefully and thinking about those walks. The Red Sox let us off easy by not capitalizing on them, but they could have come back to bite us. AJ needs to throw strikes and be economical with his pitches.

    A win is a beautiful thing, Lisa. No doubt about it. That 0-8 streak was embarrassing, so at least we broke it.

    I did sleep well last night, Lori. No nightmares about losing to Boston for once. As for the magic pen, it’s still doing its thing. Shhhh.

    I love drubbings, don’t get me wrong, Diane. (At least, the ones we win.) I’m just worried about Joba. He really looked awful, so I hope he can bounce back in his next start. Have fun at ’70s Disco Night. Something tells me there will be dancing!

    Very funny about Girardi bingeing on protein bars, Scott. He must have been pacing back and forth looking for something to calm his nerves. I guess if Smoltz continues to struggle, they could try him in the bullpen. He looked great in the first inning. It was after the second or third time through the lineup that he faltered.

    Rough game for your guys, Jen. I would have been so frustrated by all those runners left on base – something that’s usually a problem for the Yanks. And yes, Smoltz isn’t looking like the Smoltz of those great Braves years. I remember when Mussina struggled in ’07 and everyone, including me, thought he was done. Then he came back and pitched great in ’08. So who knows when it’s time to hang it up.

    Beating Boston is as good as winning Mega Million, Latinyankeerebel? (Good to have you commenting again, btw.) But if you won the million, you could stay in the US!

    Another old fashioned Yanks-Sox game that took a zillion hours, John. I knew I’d have to leave at 6:30 my time, but I figured I’d see six innings. Wrong. They were barely through the fourth! Enjoy Rhode Island. So beautiful there.

    Who knows is right, Steve. I’m certainly not taking anything for granted. I agree that it should be a tighter, better pitched game tonight, but if it’s Yankees-Red Sox anything can happen and probably will. I was just relieved to beat your guys at least once this year!

    Natmeg, I honestly haven’t noticed Papelbon taking long pauses between pitches. Slow pitchers usually drive me nuts but it’s his stare/glare that gets me, not his pace.

    Julia, I hope the umpires will keep things under control tonight. I have no clue why Melancon would throw at Pedroia in that situation. Makes no sense to me, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to explain it to your 12-year-old.

    Jihnyyanks, please play Yankees Scrabble with your kids again tonight. Maybe it was the lucky charm that got us over the hump. Don’t mess with a good thing!

    I do remember the look on Verlander’s face, Dave. It was priceless. Should be a very different type of game tonight. I hope AJ is at his best, otherwise we could be on the wrong side of a lopsided score.

    Yes, miracles are possible, Jeff! But I don’t think Yanks/Sox will ever come in under 3-4-5 hours. It’s insane – and exhausting.

    Oh, great, Kaybee. So we got a pitcher who sucks? Sigh. I don’t even know what Cashman is thinking anymore.

    The Yankees were just lucky, jonnnnn. That’s one way to look at it.

  14. Jane Heller

    Oops. Missed you there, Ginny. Yes, tonight should be a real pitcher’s duel. I say “should be” because who knows with these two teams? But Burnett and Beckett are both power pitchers who have the ability to shut an offense down. I’ll be a nervous wreck for this one, but at least I know we aren’t going into it at 0-for-9!

  15. dschaub@gpo.gov

    This message is for Diane…what are you DOING to my head with all these references to great ol’ singers and bands?!? I have trouble concentrating on BASEBALL! So now you get to see Tavares — AND you already saw the Spoonful — AND you’ll see The TRAMMPS?! Do let me (us) know if The Trammps do “Zing Went The Strings Of My Heart” and “Hold Back The Night”…I’m having a Soul Exhaustion!!
    Oh…yeah…baseball…talking heads are calling tonight “The Florida Marlins Reunion Matchup”…grrr…images of 2003, Kevin F. Brown, and Carl F. Pavano, all conspiring to make my blood boil…but take note…the Marlins of 2009, who were Unbeaten All Year vs. our Poor Ol’ Nationals, just swaggered into D.C. as contenders and got SWEPT…and in the last game, they blew a 6-0 lead…omens?

  16. southernbelle

    Jane: I woke up with a smile on my face this morning because of the win last night. It was not the best played game, but hey. A win is a win. And against the Red Sox, I’ll take ANY win!!! I hope A.J. has his nasty stuff today. He needs a bounce back start. I’m looking forward to tonights game! On paper, it looks like it won’t be as much of a blowout. We’ll see. -Virginia

  17. Jane Heller

    Speaking of Pavano, Dave, did you hear he was traded to the Twins? Good luck to him in Minny. Or should I say good luck to the fans there.

    I woke up smiling too, Virginia. Now let’s see if we can keep smiling. AJ will have to be at his best!

  18. Jane Heller

    I’m pretty sure my dearly departed grandmother could have taken Billy Traber deep, Paul. Poor guy. Couldn’t have been fun for him.

    Glad you were entertained, diamondgirl!

  19. travelingbballbabes

    Seriously I actually sat on my couch last night shouting, “if you do not win one game this weekend, I am coming down there and throwing tomatoes at the stadium!” The Yanks must’ve heard me. Who wants tomato stains on a shiny, new stadium?

  20. travelingbballbabes

    Seriously I actually sat on my couch last night shouting, “if you do not win one game this weekend, I am coming down there and throwing tomatoes at the stadium!” The Yanks must’ve heard me. Who wants tomato stains on a shiny, new stadium?

  21. diane.anziano@gmail.com

    This message is for dschaub — I’ll definitely take “Heaver Must Be Missing An Angel” over Pavano. What a waste. I’ll update you on tomorrow’s blog re tonight’s performance. Our town has amazing free outdoor concerts all summer and we try to take advantage of as many as possible. You can’t believe the size of the crowds that show up.

    Let’s all say a quick prayer for another Yankees victory tonight. Should be an amazing match up. Would love to sweep four – and I think we have a good shot at it — but I’d be happy with 3 and would be “satisfied” with a split. Oh, hell no!!! Get out the brooms Yankees fans!!!!!

  22. raysrenegade

    You knew the streak had to come to an end sometime, but wow! I did not thin it would be Smoltz that would be at the bottom of that burning pile.
    I hope he finds someone to take him on now that the Red Sox DFA’d him today.
    He should not have to go out like that.but sometimes people do hang on too long in a sport and get exposed. Let’s hope he can find a team, even for one start and go out on a positive note.
    At least you guys set them down one notch for us to catch them before the end of August. That is my hope.
    The Wild Card is the short term goal right now………..then we shall see!
    Congrats on the implosion of the streak last night

    Rays Renegade


  23. Jane Heller

    I hope you’re right, Dillon. I like your spirit!

    The curse is over, Cat. Whew. But we have our work cut out for us tonight.

    You’re so right, Johnny. A win to put us up by another game in the division is big.

    I’m so glad you didn’t have to go down there and throw tomatoes, Serena! That would have gotten messy and security would have carted you away in handcuffs!

    I’ll be saying a prayer, Diane, but I’m not going near the word “sweep.” Just taking it one game at a time. Will be eager to hear about your evening!

    Thanks, Renegade. We helped you out, huh? I feel the same way about Smoltz, but it’s tough to know when to hang it up. Mussina was very intuitive about his career. He went out on a high note and hasn’t looked back.

  24. aeh813@aol.com

    Ok, not an insightful comment here, but I’m very entertained by these “look-a-likes.” I hear Ramiro Pena has been called back up (yay). I think he looks a lot like Zach Braff.

    Go Yanks

  25. Jane Heller

    Very insightful comment, aeh813! I’m so glad Pena was called up. Does he look like Zach Braff? I’ll check it out.

    Oh, boy, Jimmy. This is some game. My stomach is in a knot!

  26. Jane Heller

    What a game, Jimmy!!!!!!!! A classic for the ages is exactly right. I know I’ll sleep well tonight. Hope you do too!

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