Yankees Win; Hunger Strike Off

On Twitter today I announced that I would go on a hunger strike until the Yankees halted their slide and won a game. No pasta with portobello mushroom sauce. No grilled turkey burgers. No Pepperidge Farm Double Chunk Chocolate Chip Cookies, my favorite indulgence.
I was prepared to waste away for as many days and weeks as it took for my team to remember how to use their bats – anything to bring awareness to the cause and stop the madness.
But the Yankees beat the Braves 8-4, and I ate a delicious dinner. No strike necessary.
What a relief to get a “W” after all those rotten losses. Joba went six-plus without walking anybody and only spazzed out in the seventh with that error on Johnson’s bunt.
And he knocked out Kawakami, the Braves’ starter, in the third by lining a comebacker directly at his carotid artery without causing irreparable harm. Hard to do!
Let’s see. So many others to thank for this victory (not counting Cashman for shipping Veras to Cleveland and DFA-ing Berroa).
Thanks to first base umpire Bill Welke for his bonehead call on the non-pickoff of Gardner in the sixth. Bill, you rock! If you’d actually had the lasik surgery, you wouldn’t have gotten Girardi mad enough to argue.
Instead, you blew the call and threw him out of the game, which was positively inspired (and inspiring).
Only moments later, the Cisco Kid smacked his first major league homer to tie the score 1-1. It was the Yankees’ first run since the dawn of early man.
Thanks to Jeter and Damon for their back-to-back singles in the inning, to Tex for his walk to load the bases, and to A-Rod for coming through with a two-run hit that put the Yanks up 3-1 and saved me from having to starve myself.
Thank you to an Atlanta reliever named Bennett, who served one up to Swisher for a just-barely homer that made it 4-1 and possibly saved Nick’s job.
It was a little nerve-wracking in the bottom of the frame when Joba gave up an RBI single to the guy who pinch-hit for Bennett (his name is Prado, but I call him The Devil Wears Prado) for 4-2. Then Coke replaced Joba, and McLouth launched a deep sac fly for 4-3. By the way, McLouth is impressive. As much as I like Nady, why didn’t we get The Good Pirate, who also happens to look like Matt Damon?
There was more merriment in the top of the eighth as we scored another couple of runs. But what was up with Bruney? Could he have taken any longer between pitches? Talk about laboring.
Then along came Mo, who gets a thank you just for his existence.
Not only did he strike out all four batters he faced in the eighth/ninth, but he came up to bat and lined one into the outfield. His teammates thought it was hilarious.
Anyhow, thanks again to all of the above for helping me avert the hunger strike. I would have done it, but I’m glad I didn’t have to. I’m not planning to grow a mustache in solidarity either, so the Yankees shouldn’t even try going on another losing streak.


  1. levelboss

    “Mommy, what’s that?”
    “It’s called a ‘win’, Billy. It’s when the Yankees have more runs than the other team has after the game’s over.”
    “I know you’ve never seen one before, because the last time the Yankees won was before you were born – a LONG time ago.”
    “Mommy, I’m scared.”
    “Don’t be.. it’s a happy thing. The Yankees found something they had lost.”
    “Their offense. Now smile, Billy.”

  2. crzblue2

    i am glad you got to have a nice dinner. Me, I went to the market when the Dodgers were leading 3-1 and well, when I came out, they were losing 10-3. there went my hunger so I skipped dinner. I’ll take over the hunger strike for you until Billz gets a win tomorrow. No! wait! I can’t wait that long for food. I love the Dodgers AND food. Just skipping dinner is enough for me.

  3. lenn23

    Hey Jane, I think you need to lend some of your cookies to Keira. She seems to be on a hunger strike for the next Cubs World Series! The Pirate that I wanted the most last year was Bay. I hope they can keep the offense up because the last time they scored this much was a week ago and have been on a break since. Those first five innings were very irksome. Wish they weren’t so streaky!

  4. diane.anziano@gmail.com

    I think the Yanks are 3 and 0 when Girardi gets tossed. Is it the fact that the team gets jazzed or are they happy he’s not in the dugout.

    The noise before the game about whether Swish or Melky would start the game seemed odd – I have been a big Girardi supported since he took the helm from Torre but I’m starting to think he may not be the man for the roll.

    It was hysterical watching Melky prep Mo for his 2nd life-time at bat and even funnier watching C.C.’s reaction when it looked like Mariano might have gotten a hit.

    We need to take the series from Atlanta and then its on to $hitty field.

  5. scofid

    I like the way ESPN kept showing the video of Welke and Girardi, and you can clearly see Welke ask Joe if he wanted tossed from the game. With Billy Martin, you knew that Billy was saying words that would get him tossed. But with Joe’s clean mouth, what could he possibly say other than “May I please be thrown from the game…please?” 😉 Or “Your mother wears army boots!” LOL! That was funny watching Mo bat, but he actually got a better piece of the ball than I thought he would. I would have at least taken a few practice swings. How stellar was Mo striking out the side in the 9th? Man, I am going to miss him when he retires…


  6. steve_t

    Jane, it was funny to see the guys on the MLB Network watch the closeup (and slo-mo lip read) of the umpire acknowledging Girardi’s request to get thrown out of the game. And it worked like a charm! Almost as effective as your hunger strike. You’re a regular Gandhi of she-fans! Too bad, though. I was going to request your uneaten cookies.

    Steve T.

  7. ladyjane303

    Jane – The start of the game didn’t look good for you nutrition-wise. Perfect-gamed through how many innings!? If Girardi has to get thrown out a few more times to get a win, go for it! He said so himself on the post-game interview. Cervelli is becoming a favorite and always seems to spark the team – some interesting choices to be made when Molina comes off the DL. For me, the best part of the game was Mo – 4 batters, 4 K’s, and that at-bat (and team reaction, including Melky prepping him) was priceless. Enjoy those cookies……….you earned them.

  8. letsgoyankees

    You realize what a weird game yesterday was?

    Getting perfect gamed through five innings (despite their starter getting knocked out w/a line drive by OUR starter).

    Having our first baserunner picked off but not really.

    Getting our manager ejected.

    Tying the game w/the backup catcher’s first HR.

    Having the coldest hitter in the league up w/the bases loaded and getting the big hit.

    Scoring five more runs so that we ended up w/more runs in four innings than in the past two games and five innings combined.

    Having Mo bat.

    Hope this game was a turning point!

  9. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Couldn’t agree more with the levelboss…it does seem like years since they won ANY game (or scored any runs)…good thing they didn’t face a rookie pitcher!! So glad that your Fast went by fast…don’t you DARE wind up looking like Keira, Ms. “Jane The Pencil”…!! How ironic that on a night when there’s finallly some offense, two at-bats by the pitchers are the biggest deals! Well, Jersey Bob of the NTP Fan Club was on the horn early this A.M. to point out Who Was Catching, for the umpteenth time…and if ESPN shows any more of those “Hip-Hip Hor-Hay” commercials, I may be joining that club very soon myself!! But hoo-ray for a W, any old way they can…

  10. thatbaseballguy

    It’s always fun to see a pitcher that doesn’t play in the NL get a hit. Especially Mo who hasn’t batted all that much in his career. And I don’t think I would be able to survive a hunger strike. I would have gone a different route to make the Yankees win.

  11. Yankees Reality Check

    Now I have to go look for video of Girardi asking to get thrown out. That’s too funny.

    I love your illustration there for “the dawn of man.” And I agree with Dillon; a hunger strike would be impossible for me. The stress alone in the first five innings had me downing peanut M&Ms like it was my job.

  12. Jane Heller

    Nice dialogue, Levelboss. Do we have another novelist in our midst?

    Sorry the Dodgers’ score made you lose your appetite, Emma. But today’s a new day and may we all eat to our heart’s content!

    They’re very streaky, Len. And they were streaky last year and the year before. I’ve been told that hitting is contagious, so I guess the opposite is true too.

    I wish Veras well, Julia – far, far away from the Bronx.

    Diane, I think that when Girardi is tossed, it gets them jazzed, although why they can’t get jazzed on their own is a mystery to me. In this case, Gardner was safe at first, and I would have charged out of the dugout myself! Joe knew he wasn’t winning the argument, so why not kick a little dirt? I did love Mo’s at bat and the reaction of his teammates.

    Don’t even think of Mo retiring, Scott. It’s too painful! And yes, Joe probably said to the ump, “Your mother wears army boots” or something equally benign, but the point was made and it worked. Yay.

    A Gandhi of she-fans. LOL, Steve! You need to try those cookies. But I would have given them up to protest losing games to NL teams.

    Gcf, I’m on Twitter @SheFanJane. See you there.

    I’m really loving Cervelli, ladyjane. He brings such a spark to the proceedings and seems to be hitting better at the major league level than he did in the minors. I have a feeling we’ll be saying bye bye to Molina.

    Very weird game for all the reasons you listed, Letsgoyankees, but I loved it. I’ll be disappointed (to say the least) if there’s no carryover tonight.

    The last picture is Molina’s sister, Jeff. (Does he have a sister?)

    I’m glad I watched the game on YES instead of ESPN, Dave. I was lucky enough to have a choice here in CA, which is not always the case. And yes, hooray for the win.

    It was only Mo’s second career at bat, Dillon, and he was told not to swing. He apologized for disobeying orders, but he said he couldn’t help taking a shot at the ball.

    Exactly, ajmolina. A big thanks.

    That’s the hard part of hunger strikes, YRC. Just when you need the food to relieve the stress, you can’t eat it!

  13. Jane Heller

    Will certainly check out your blog, jed.

    She looked worse in some other photos, Jenn, but I didn’t want to scare anybody!

  14. Jane Heller

    Whatever it takes, Erin. Hunger strike. Mustache. Shaved head. Hopefully, the Yankees will win a few and I won’t have to find out.

  15. rrrt

    Jane, thank goodness you didn’t have to go on your hunger strike and waste away. Because based on some of the photos from your NY visit, there’s not a whole lot of excess you. I, on the other hand, could stand a little wasting. Maybe I should try the hunger strike with the Phillies – they’ve been sucking lately, and I have a beach vacation coming up later this summer!
    Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

  16. Jane Heller

    Not with all those Dodger Dugout goodies, Cat. I always look forward to your descriptions.

    You’re right, Sue. If I got any thinner it wouldn’t be a pretty sight. Glad you have a vacation coming up and can take a break from the Phillies’ suckitude.

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