Yankees Win Again, Magic Pen Takes Credit (With Video)

Watching Wednesday night’s 8-6 win over the Tigers was like sitting through three different ball games.

In the first one, Joba couldn’t throw a strike, looked out of sorts and received a lecture in the dugout from Dave Eiland, who, as we learn from this photo, is a “close talker.”
In the second one, Joba regrouped and was lights out, allowing only three hits over seven innings.
On the offensive side, the Bombers teed off on Porcello (the Tigers’ starter, as opposed to some sort of specialty mushroom) and on Rapada (the Tigers’ reliever, not a pasta dish involving miniature broccoli). The barrage included hits, walks, a couple of homers by Swisher, even a stolen base by Posada. Before I knew it, the score was 8-1 and I could sense that Yankee fans everywhere were yelling, “Par-tay!”
In the third game-within-the-game, Albaladejo came on in the ninth and couldn’t figure out that his job was to finish off the Tigers. Why was he even out there?
Mo should be pitching!” I yelled at Girardi through the TV. “I know it’s not a save situation, but he hasn’t been on the mound since last Friday when he gave it up in Boston! He’s probably rusty! He needs the work!” 
Joe must have heard me because Mo suddenly appeared. “I meant at the beginning of the inning, not now!” I shouted at the skipper. “You didn’t give him enough time to warm up!”
In stepped Granderson, who smacked a three-run homer to bring the Tigers to within two. Great. Was it possible that they would rally for more? That the Yankees would lose what had seemed like a mercifully easy contest? That my entire night would be ruined?
I was pretty agitated as I jotted down the score. And then… I remembered. I wasn’t just keeping score. I was keeping score with the Magic Pen!
I gripped the pen tightly and told it to use its powers. Well, you know the rest. Polanco and his melon head flied out, and the Yankees did win.
I bet Kim Jones interviewed Nick Swisher as the player of the game, but to me the one responsible for the “W” was the Magic Pen.
And so I interviewed it. Here’s my exclusive.


  1. scofid

    Let’s hope the pen keeps its ink through at least next Tuesday! The next six games are very critical! I am making my first visit to the new Stadium on Sunday, so hopefully they’ll give me a victory for making the trip! 🙂 I also bought my May 9th ticket in Baltimore which hopefully marks A-Rod’s return to the team. It should be a very exciting week, so Pen, don’t fail me now! 🙂


  2. raysrenegade

    Do you do that illusion trick with magic pen that if you wiggle the pen real fast it takes a jello look to it and bends like Beckham?
    I like that 6-game pen rule.
    I could not get any extra pen from the Tampa Marriot yesterday. The maids guard that thing like they put bars of gold in the showers instead of shampoo samples.
    Or maybe they were afraid I would steal all their chocolates?

    Rays Renegade


  3. steve_t

    Jane, this pen obsession shows that clearly you’ve gone insane from following your team–and it’s only April. Know what that makes you? One hell of a good fan. Not to worry. Your sanity will return sometime around January, 2010.

    Steve T.

  4. dschaub@gpo.gov

    Well, we got home from Son #2’s birthday dinner, turned on the tube, and oh look, another nice birthday gift — Yanks are up 8-1. No problemo! Now, just nail down the 9th…with a HAMMER, please…ohh noo, can’t ANYONE pitch? Good thing Mr. Pen was still at work, more than can be said for St(inky) Bull Pen. Keep him, Mr. Magic Johnson Pen that is, on the ball(s) of his pointy little feet (Little Feat? Let It Roll!) for the big series ahead. Don’t want him to run dry too soon, like say old Pete (Inky) Incaviglia. Otherwise we might go crazy, like that H(ink)ley guy did…by the way, wasn’t that Michael playing Best Supporting Actor in the Mr. Pen interview? Has he been inked to a contract?

  5. rrrt

    The very question I was wondering as I read your post, and then you asked it at the very end – yes, what WILL happen??? But since it’s a fresh pen in it’s prime (having been acquired this spring) I’m thinking it should have enough gas (ink) to make it through the season. Then you’ll just have to go back to Tampa next spring, to get a new one! 🙂
    Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

  6. latinyankeerebel

    Wow! I knew I wasn’t the only one who thought the same… it takes Mariano at least 45 minutes to warm up… trust me I should know if I saw all the process he undergoes during warm up in Baltimore last time he was in town… I seriously think we need to kick Girardi’s butt!

  7. cheshirecat9

    That pen is a true hero. Make sure you don’t accidentally use it for non-Yankee related note taking. I hope it lasts at least until next Tuesday when have tickets to see the Yanks at Red Sox.
    Scott – I will also be at Camden on the 9th (my first time at a ball park that wasn’t Yankee Stadium or Shea). I hope to see A-Rod too!

  8. Jane Heller

    Scott, I think you’ll be seeing CC on Sunday, right? It should be a great day and the pen and I will do our best to get a win for you, although your presence there will be enough do the trick. Did you see that Cheshirecat will be at the Baltimore game the same day you are? You two should meet up!

    At least your closer didn’t give up a homer, Julia. I hate when that happens, even though it rarely does.

    The maids at the Marriott were very generous with the pens when I was there, Renegade. It was the shower caps they were stingy with!

    Russ, you totally cracked me up. I need to perform drug testing on the pen. Or maybe Selena Roberts already has the story?

    You nailed it, Steve. I’m insane all right. I cling to anything or anyone who will insure a Yankees victory. Food. Clothes. Pens. Who knows what’s next?

    Yes, Dave, that was Michael playing “The Pen.” And he wasn’t happy about it. He wanted to watch CNN and get more nervous about catching swine flu.

    Sue, the sad truth is that the Yankees will lose long before the pen runs out of ink, and I’ll have to move on to some other lunacy.

    Latinyankeerebel, I’m glad you see what I’m talking about. Obviously, Mo threw a bad pitch. But he can’t just pop out of the pen and start throwing.

    Cheshirecat, can’t wait to hear about your adventure at the Yankees-Sox game. Bring us a little luck, please. And you’ll love Camden Yards. Great ballpark. You should go on Scott’s blog and arrange to meet up.

    Precisely, Cat.

    Thanks, Kaybee. The Pen was reluctant to be interviewed, but we got it done.

  9. Jane Heller

    Melky’s looking good right now, Jason, and I hope he keeps it up, but there are times when he drives me crazy, taking hacks at pitches in the dirt with men on base. Grr. Still, Gardner wasn’t performing….

  10. Yankees Reality Check

    Good job, Magic Pen! I thought I was going to pop a blood vessel if the announcers bitched about Joba’s velocity one more time.

    At least this time I was able to watch it on ESPN instead of the Extra Innings (although Rick Sutcliffe is super annoying).

    Jane, I don’t live in CT, but I’m close. I live in Rhode Island. I guess because its Sawx territory they don’t see the point in carrying YES here. I’ll tell you, though, there are a good amount of Yanks fans here – especially in the Italian-American communities.

  11. Jane Heller

    I love Rhode Island, Yankees Reality Check. I used to take vacation on Block Island in the summers. The only negative was not getting the Yankees games.

  12. whiteyfraud

    I had the Porcello and Rapada last night with a nice Chianti.

    It was almost as much fun as driving around Boston on a Sunday night while slurping Red Bull.

    Just sayin’…

  13. levelboss

    “Polanco and his melon head..”

    “..the one responsible for the “W” was the Magic Pen.

    And so I interviewed it. Here’s my exclusive.”

    so funny, Jane

  14. Jane Heller

    Hey, Whitey. My Rapada was sort of stringy, but the Merlot was tasty.

    I love riding the ferry, Yankees Reality Check, although there was a time in August when a violent thunderstorm nearly sank us. Very Titanic.

    Glad you had a laugh, Levelboss.

  15. letsgoyankees

    Jane, it’s my fault the Yankees lost game one in Boston.
    I know, I know. I’m sorry. But the guilt’s been gnawing at me.
    In that inning where they took a two run lead, I put on my blue and white Yankee hat. Ad in the 9th inning, I took it off. So what happens? The offense splutters and Mo blows the save.
    Sorry. I’m much more careful now about superstitions and such things. Rest assured it’ll never happen again.

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