She-Fan Exclusive: Yankees Send Struggling Wang To Shrink

As a result of yet another miserable outing after which Chien-Ming Wang was declared physically sound, the Yankees made swift arrangements to help Wang with his emotional issues.
He is said to suffer from a psychiatric disorder known as the “Cannot Pitch To Save My Life Syndrome,” and the Yankees front office flew in the one therapist they trusted to deal with it.
She-Fan was provided exclusive access to Wang’s session with Dr. Phil. There was, of course, a language barrier as Wang understands English but doesn’t speak it, so I will translate the highlights.
Dr. Phil: Are you depressed right now?
(Very. I let Yankee fans down. I let myself down.)
Dr. Phil: Do you know why you couldn’t perform today?
Wang是。 我在土墩太多认为。
(Yes. I was thinking too much on the mound.)
Dr. Phil: About what?
Wang我认为CC和AJ由他们的最初去,但是大家告诉我Wanger。 它损我的感觉。
(I was thinking that CC and AJ go by their initials, but everybody calls me Wanger. It hurts my feelings.)
Dr. Phil: Anything else?
Wang是。 迷认为尼克Swisher比我是一个更好的投手。 他们爱他。
(Yes. The fans think Nick Swisher is a better pitcher than I am. They love him.)
Dr. Phil: You sound angry. Is there more?
WangIt’ 也s关于乔Girardi和布赖恩Cashman。 为什么didn’ t他们在花册上把象Brett Tomko的一个长的人放? 我会感觉保护,照料。 反而,他们投掷了那个可怜的孩子, Claggett,对狼。
(It’s also about Joe Girardi and Brian Cashman. Why didn’t they put a long man like Brett Tomko on the roster? I would have felt protected, taken care of. Instead, they threw that poor kid, Claggett, to the wolves.)
Dr. Phil: Keep going.
Wang在美国人的进攻。 他们don’ t击中了与在计分的位置的赛跑者。 并且, Cody赎金isn’ t标尺在第三。 我恐惧有在我之后的好防御。
(The offense on the Yankees. They don’t hit with runners in scoring position. Also, Cody Ransom isn’t A-Rod over at third. I fear not having good defense behind me.)
Dr. Phil: Pena was playing third today, but who’s counting. It’s time you released all this hostility, Chien-Ming. Would you scream for me? Just let it all out?
WangO.K. 如果您认为它将帮助。 这里去。 Ahhhhhh!  
(O.K. If you think it will help. Here goes. Ahhhhhh!)
Dr. Phil: Excellent. We’re done here. The next time you pitch you’ll throw a complete game shut-out. Maybe even a no-no.
Wang谢谢非常,菲尔医生。 我欠多少您会议的?
(Thank you so much, Doctor Phil. How much do I owe you for the session?)
Dr. Phil: Not a thing. The Yankees gave me one of their empty luxury boxes as payment, plus free dinners at the steakhouse. We’re all set.
According to the press release I just received from the Yankees, Chien-Ming Wang has now been cured. No need for further concern.


  1. Jane Heller

    You’re right, Aaron. History shows that the Indians have made the Yankees look bad before. I’m so glad I missed the game due to the black out by Fox. I couldn’t have stomached it. But congrats to you. It must have been fun to watch on your end.

  2. scofid

    Fortunately, it was just a single loss…no different than had the Tribe won 5-4. A win today, and the series is a split. I think you’re right, Wang’s problems are “between his ears”. I don’t know what it is going to take, but putting him out there every 5 days doesn’t seem to be the answer. I hope they pull him from next Friday’s start against Boston. They don’t need to start that series on the “Wang foot”…


  3. juliasrants

    Actually Scott – maybe he should start in Boston next Friday! 😉 Jane – I’m not even sure what to say. It’s hard to place all the blame on Wang – the pitchers coming in after him aren’t doing any better! I suspect the Yankees fans are starting to lose patience as Wang and the Yankees try to sort out their problems. Good luck!


  4. denyankfan

    That blog was a heck of a lot more entertaining than the game! Lets hope he figures it out soon cus his ERA is now at 38!!!

    Bombers Weekly

  5. crzblue2

    Jane, I was at the Dodger game listening to the radio when I heard the score and immediately thought of you. When there are games like that the only thing you can do is laugh. Is a good therapy.

    Check out my pics with Manny and other Dodgers!

  6. popejonash

    Fantastic Jane! I did actually laugh out loud at Brett Tomko. I’m not sure what I enjoyed more – reading a Yankees’ fan blog taking a light-hearted look at her own team after a game in turmoil, or smiling to myself for knowing who Dr Phil is even though I’m from England. Keep smiling.Ash

  7. Jane Heller

    Swisher probably had a temporary Lisfranc injury from stepping on a base, Paul. Either that, or he didn’t want any part of yesterday.

    I read somewhere that they were pulling him from his next start, Scott. I think it’s because there’s a day off, so they don’t need an extra starter? All I know is that he needs a major head adjustment.

    When your starter gives up so many runs early – again – it’s contagious, Julia. Good pitching breeds good pitching. And the reverse is also true. I hoping AJ will turn it around today.

    Such a mess, Denyankfan. What else could I do but try to laugh? There was no point in recapping that one.

    Thanks, Andrew!

    You’re right, Emma. Laughing is the best medicine. Well, check that. Winning is the best medicine, with laughing second. Will go look at your pics.

    So Dr. Phil is a household name even in England, Ash? That’s fame! Thanks for reading.

  8. rockiefan123

    Haha too funny Jane, just like the rest of them, but this one might have topped them all. But seriously, lets hope Wang gets back on track, because if not, the Yanks could be in serious trouble. If he struggles one more time, I see a possibly demotion to Triple A and the bringing up of Kennedy who has looked pretty good down there. The yankees have a shorter leash on players considering the huge expectations and the 1.5 billion dollar stadium. Just because they added 3 new guys doesn’t mean that they are great automatically…everyone else needs to help too, and so far, thats just not happening.

  9. Jane Heller

    Doug, I read yesterday that they can’t send Wang down to Triple A because he doesn’t have options or something like that (forgive my ignorance). Right now I think they’re just going to skip his next start and try to work on his mechanics. But as I said in this post – in jest – it’s all about his head right now. As for Kennedy, I would assume they’d bring up Hughes first.

    You think he’s having post-traumatic stress from that rookie hazing a few years ago, Russ? Could be.

    Well, it’s nice to know that nothing has changed at the new stadium, Ellie. I was afraid people would be too polite, given the price of the tix. 🙂

  10. levelboss

    Wang is listed for next Friday against the Red Sox 😦

    i think Girardi should rest Wang and instead play Burnett as it would the fifth day for AJ any way; if that change were to happen then it would be Burnett, Pettitte, and Sabathia at Fenway next weekend – i’d feel a lot better

  11. Erin Kathleen

    Well, I see that today’s game had a much more favorable outcome for the Yankees. And Jorge Posada was the big hero, too, at least according to the replays. Boy, the Yankees just can’t do anything without drama, can they ? 🙂 -Erin

  12. mikeeff

    vicious. hilarious.

    i loved it. no way they can throw wang into the snake pit
    ( fenway) . they can’t keep giving away games. i’m sure he can come down with Dice BB’s arm injury. we need our best guys to go in and shut the sox down. building an early lead on them while the rays are floundering would be quite a lovely cushion.

  13. redstatebluestate

    Jane — You knew I’d jump in here right? Okay, I won’t make fun of the awful Chinese translations here, but that’s just because they are so friggin’ funny. For instance, instead of “depressed” like as in “sad”, it generated the phrase for being pushed down by a physical object. Chuckles galore.

  14. letsgoyankees

    Funny stuff Jane. Your blog always cracks me up.
    How about the big HR by Posada and big double by Ransom?

  15. Jane Heller

    Elizabeth, there are a few players I’d send to a shrink. The Mets were the first team to have one on staff years ago, but now I think every team should have one.

    I agree, Levelboss. There seems to be a disagreement within the organization about Wang. He thinks he should start on Friday in Boston. Girardi and Co. seem less sure. I guess his next side session with determine it.

    You’re right, Erin. Even the victories come with controversy and drama. But I’ll take the “W” any way I can get it.

    Mike, I’m sure the Yankees can come up with a solution for Wang, so he can “take a time out.” Clearly, something needs to be done – and it’s not throwing him out there at Fenway!

    I did figure you’d restore order here, Jeff, since you’re the expert. The Babel Fish translations are hilarious (your example about the word “depressed” is a great example). But I couldn’t resist.

    I never saw “Sixteen Candles,” Sue. I always mean to rent it, so one of these days….

    Great HR by Posada today, Letsgoyankees. Ransom’s “double” was weird but great too. Did Choo just lose the ball or what?

  16. heartruss

    Jane, I couldn’t stop laughing. I was appalled by the score yesterday but I knew you would be better today with the win. I love your sense of humor. One of my favorite relief pitchers is Kuo who signs in Chinese since he is Taiwanese. I heard that he also has a mental issue going on in that he lost his confidence. Sometimes that mental issue can be more lasting than any physical problem.

  17. PAUL

    At least Swisher didn’t tear his hip labrum. Speaking of which, I knew I’d forgotten someone the other day when I discussed all the players who’d sustained this heretofore unheard of/undiagnosed injury and Mike Lowell had done it as well.

  18. Jane Heller

    Cat, I was truly appalled by yesterday’s score/outcome. You got that right! Interesting about Kuo having a mental issue that needs addressing. As I wrote above, I really think teams should follow the Mets’ lead from several years ago and have a psychologist on staff for players to talk to. Couldn’t hurt. I’m dying to try the Dodger Dugout food! You’re making me drool!

    Lowell seems to be doing well after the surgery, Paul, so I’m hopeful about A-Rod. But it’s very curious that this injury is becoming more common. I think you’re right and it could have to do with the newer workouts players subject themselves to.

  19. raysrenegade

    I hope the kid did not fall into that “Rick Ankiel” backstop beating treatment, or myabe the anxiety pulsed “Rob Bell” hyperventilation technigues class.
    The guy looked so confused on the mound in the Trop last tesday night.
    When two guys got on base it was if his head was on a swivel and he was a bobblehead looking for the door out.
    I hope it is something simple. I actually like him as a pitcher. I really thought he might have a chance to redeem himself this season.
    Maybe later this year he will again be throwing to the mitt.

    Rays Renegade


  20. Jane Heller

    I thought of Rick Ankiel too, Renegade. It does seem as if this is a mental situation with him. He’s so shy and reserved that I’m sure it’s tough for the Yankees to figure out the problem, especially given the language barrier. I love him as a pitcher. Two 19-game seasons back to back? The Yankees need him!


    Yanks can’t send Wang down because they are out of options. The only way around that is if he actually agrees to the demotion. From what I have heard, the Yanks do plan on yanking him from the rotation for at least one start.

    It would be a huge mistake to leave him in the rotation to take another beating, especially in a much watched series against the Suks. IF he takes another beating it could have a more negative impact on him mentally if his problem stems from that (which I doubt since nothing has happened for him to have any mental problems on the mound), or if there’s something wrong with him mechanically, it will just mean this team will take another hit in the loss column.

  22. Jane Heller

    Matthew, couldn’t they DL him with some “injury?” I don’t think he’s ready for prime time and I agree that he shouldn’t take his next start. He was out for most of the season last year, so maybe it was unreasonable to expect him to be 100% this early in the season.


    I’m pretty sure the rules state that you can’t use the DL for anything other than real injuries, not for mechanical problems.


    I’m pretty sure the rules state that you can’t use the DL for anything other than real injuries, not for mechanical problems.

  25. Jane Heller

    I wonder if he’s hurting and not saying anything, Matthew. But if it’s just mechanical, they’ll figure it out. I hope!


    If he was hurt and not saying anything, that would be a big mistake on his part. He’s been killing this team. I’m sure they will be able to figure it out whether it’s physical, or if it’s his mechanics. If it’s an injury, they can DL him and they can bring a fresh arm up like Hughes.

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