Joba Faces The Judge


Having been charged with drunken driving several months ago, as well as being in possession of an open container of alcohol, Joba Chamberlain postponed his hearing four times. But immediately after the Yankees’ 6-3 win over the Reds, he finally flew to Nebraska for his arraignment. As he left George M. Steinbrenner Field he breathed a sigh of relief that he would learn his punishment at last.
He has told the Yankees how sorry he is for the events of that fateful night, and pledged to drink more responsibly than he used to.
And lately he’s been more associated with breakfast food than champagne parties.
But the time has come. The courtroom awaits. The law is the law.
Since he’s a first-time offender, he could get off with a slap on the wrist (or someplace else).
Or the judge could make him cool his heels in the slammer for a night or two.
My guess is he’s looking at community service, which could be performed by speaking to kids about the dangers of drinking and driving…
or maybe by feeding the homeless.
I suppose the term “community service” could be applied more loosely; perhaps Joba could pay his debt to society by coming to Santa Barbara and helping me out.
Let me count the ways.
1) He could do our yard work.
2) He could do our grocery shopping.
3) He could fix our leaky sink.
4) He could cook our meals.
5) He could fill in for our cleaning lady, who comes on Mondays but is currently visiting her family in Mexico.
6) He could keep my husband company watching “Jeopardy.”
7) And he could take over the writing of my blog.
Here’s hoping the judge is reading this post right now and considering all the points I’ve made.
May justice be served.


  1. juliasrants

    Okay – the cleaning lady picture was just plain creepy! And you did notice the “breakfast place” he was in? Why it was Dunkin Donuts! A company based right here in Massachusetts! We’d love to have him serve his community service with us! On a much more serious note – I blogged a while back about an event that Joba and Jon Lester spoke together at, at a college in CT and he addressed his DUI arrest. Let’s hope he has truly learned from that “mistake” and doesn’t fall into the same trap as too many others. Good luck to him.


  2. rrrt

    I need a lot of housework done, too, and I live closer to New York – maybe the judge could send him here! I promise we’d take good care of him, and keep the liquor locked up. 😉
    Incidentally, I haven’t had a chance to post a new entry since Monday morning, as I’ve had actual work to do! Good for my wallet, but bad for my blogging.
    Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

  3. latinyankeerebel

    I need someone to cook, clean and do my laundry.

    Jane, I don’t think you wouldn’t be able to be far away from your blog for so long. It wouldn’t be fair for you nor to us. :0)

  4. Jane Heller

    I remember his co-appearance with Lester, Julia, and it sounded like a worthwhile event.

    I’d be happy to send him over to you for cleaning duties, Sue. And I hear you about work vs. blogging.

    Thanks, Latinyankeerebel. So you’d miss me? Aw. Not sure Joba would do laundry. That’s probably where he’d draw the line.

    It might be just what he needs, Kaybee. You never know.

    LOL, Jeff. Can we get word to the judge right away?

    Judge Judy scares the daylights out of me, Erin. I’d do whatever she said.

    I’ll be right over to your blog, Melissa.

  5. ztaknek

    Did you know that Judge Judy is the second highest paid person on TV, behind none other than the most egotistic woman in the world, whose former Baltimore-based co-host, Richard Sher, had tickets in the same row that we had when I had Ravens season tickets!!!

    The pic of the french maid was shocking, but what would be really shocking would be Emerill in a maid costume! I think all our minds would explode and the noise it would make would sound like, “BAMMM!!!”


  6. raysrenegade

    Joba is a Dunkin Doughnuts mist be a baker’s nightmare. Well at least he could make white icing doughnuts with chocolate pinstripes on them.
    Call them the “Yankee Yummies”.
    I think he will get about 1,000 communit service hours and a suspended/revoked drivers license for about a year.
    They will make a small example of him, unless the courtroom is filled with media members, then the judge might be a bit intimidated to be strong-willed in light of the media.
    Either way, he will be fine in the long run. Sometimes DUI’s and bad judgement calls early in a person’s career can keep them from even bigger mistakes later down the road ( Burress).

    Rays Renegade

  7. Jane Heller

    I think A-Rod will be Joba’s personal assistant when he comes back from the hip surgery, Russ. He’s going to need to spread some good will.

    I didn’t know Judge Judy was second to Oprah, Ken. I must be out of the TV loop. Emeril in a maid’s costume. LOL.

    Good idea, Tom. Joba should go to Detroit and help out. I’m sure they’d welcome anybody who’s willing to pitch in (forgive the pun).

    That’s what I’m hoping, Renegade – that he caught the problem early and will get it together from now on. He has substance abuse in his family, so he needs to be especially vigilant.

  8. Jane Heller

    Absolutely, Jenn. But I just heard he had his driver’s license taken away for 60 days, so it might have to wait.



    Do you know how difficult it is to leave a comment on your blog? For some reason — your server must have me on some anti-stalker software — but it’s almost impossible to get through the pipeline. Are you running this through dial-up?

    Anyway, at last, I’ve made it.

    Frankly, I’m glad Joba got caught. If the cop who pulled him over had let him go, he’d have just done it again and again. I hope the judge puts the fear of God in him. This is not because I fear him killing people on the highways. I just want the Yankees to win.

    el duque

  10. Jane Heller

    She did freeze, Scott! She gave him a little tongue lashing but not much else. And you’re right – 60 days would be huge for us, but Joba should be just fine. There are plenty of cabs in NY if he can’t find a driver.

    Duque, I feel your pain. It’s hard for me to comment on my own blog sometimes. No idea why it takes an eternity. And I just want the Yankees to win too. Please, God.

  11. Jane Heller

    I bet he’d be a good blogger, Aaron. He’s quite the clown and would probably be very entertaining.

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