Bernie Williams has a new album coming out in a couple of weeks called “Moving Forward.”
During an interview with Entertainment Weekly to promote the album (hat tip: “Was Watching”), Bernie admitted that he used to annoy Derek Jeter with his guitar playing, especially on long plane trips. He would try to serenade the captain, but Jeter, who needed his beauty sleep, told him to “shut up.”
Bernie’s little anecdote was meant to be lighthearted and funny – at least I assume it was – but it got me thinking. How do ballplayers spend eight or nine straight months together and not get on each other’s nerves?
I decided to imagine myself in the Yankees clubhouse, on the charter flights, everywhere they spend time together, and try to guess who would get on my nerves. I love them all, of course, since they’re Yankees, but nobody’s perfect.
* Jeter. If he gave another interview in which he said, “Bottom line: We just have to win games,” I would nudge him in the ribs and say, “Just tell them what you really think already.”
* A-Rod. If I caught him looking in the mirror, pursing his glossy lips, I would break the mirror.
* Cano. I would be driven mad by his aversion to taking walks – and I don’t mean leisurely strolls.
* Joba. I would get annoyed by his nonstop talking.
* Matsui: I’d make him produce an actual photograph of his wife instead of that silly line drawing he showed the media.
* AJ: I would ask him to stop praising Halladay, since Doc was the pitcher I really wanted.
* Pettitte: I’m not over his long contract hold-out in the off-season, and at some point I would have to confront him about it.
* Damon. If he continued to wear his hair like a little boy who just got out of bed, I would be tempted to set fire to it.
Is there anyone on your favorite team who annoys you? Or are you going to read this post and pretend the answer is no? Come on. Tell the truth and nothing but the truth.
In other news, the Yankees beat the Phillies 10-2. I like the idea of Jeter batting lead off and Damon moving to the #2 slot. Why didn’t Girardi think of that last year? Maybe I need to add him to my list of annoying Yankees.
Of course, there is nothing Mariano Rivera could ever do to annoy me – not if he sang off-key or talked with his mouth full or told unfunny jokes. If he were a church, I would be a member of it.
And finally, courtesy of “The Voice of Yankees Universe,” here are the latest pix of the new Yankee Stadium. The place looks so clean I bet it has that new car smell.