What Really Went On During A-Rod’s Stay At The Clinic

How do I know what went on? I was there.

Yes, I said I was flying home to California on Monday after nearly a week at spring training, but I changed my itinerary at the last minute and traveled, instead, to Vail, CO, where A-Rod was just being prepped for surgery.
“Is it all right if I observe?” I asked breathlessly as they were wheeling the Yankees third baseman into the O.R. Apparently, I arrived just in time.
“Are you a family member?” said Dr. Phillipon, eying me warily.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m Yankee She-Fan.” I fished my iPhone out of my bag and showed the doctor my blog.
“Ah,” he said, nodding. “As long as you’re not squeamish, you’re welcome to watch.”
So I watched.
The surgery went well, from what I could tell. I mean, I saw the torn labrum in the beginning and then stood there in amazement as Dr. Phillipon sewed it together with a ball of this
handspun yarns.jpg
and covered the incision with a roll of this.
“Mr. Rodriguez will be playing baseball for the Yankees in May,” said the doctor. “No doubt.”
I waited with A-Rod in the recovery room, where he was given a healthy dose of this to ease the pain.
Later, in his private room, he was able to sit up in bed and watch a little TV.
By noon, he felt well enough to eat the lunch I’d brought. It was actually something I’d picked up on my American Airlines flight and saved for him. He seemed very grateful, although he was still a bit groggy.
By mid-afternoon, Dr. Phillipon said A-Rod was ready to begin his rehab.
“Already?” I said protectively. “It’s only been a few hours since you operated.”
“I know what I’m doing, Ms. She-Fan. You want him back on the Yankees or not?”
“Of course,” I said. “I didn’t mean to -“
Before I could finish my sentence, A-Rod was working out on the stationery bike that had been delivered to his room.
“Are you sure you’re up to this sort of strenuous activity?” I asked the patient.
“Don’t nag me,” he snapped. “I’m not into women who nag.”
I felt stung. I was only trying to be helpful, nurturing, even mothering. But he had just pissed me off. “And what sort of women are you into?” I snapped back.
Just then, she walked in.
“Would you excuse us?” she said. “I have to change his dressing.”
“No problem,” I said and flew home to California after all.


  1. latinyankeerebel

    I’m happy you arrived safe and sound back home.
    I have to say, for the first to seconds I started reading this I actually believed it (I’m blaming that on the day light savings hour change!!)… and then the ball of yarn gave it away and I started laughing.
    Hilarious to say the least!
    I’m just happy that teh operation went well. What’s really weird is that he is able to exercise the same day.

  2. dschaub@gpo.gov

    WOW…you got a whole 8-oz. bag of Trail Mix? On an AA flight?? You musta had Deluxe 1st Class seats!! Good to know that A-Rod was in good hands, so to speak…and oh, by the way, where is that “vailed” hospital, and where DO they get their candy stripers?!? I guess The Boys really missed you, based on how they did against the Jays, eh? P.S. glad you’re home, safe & sound, with REAL wine again!

  3. Jane Heller

    Julia, I did make it home. But between the time difference and daylight savings time, I’m a little bonkers (more so than usual anyway).

    Yeah, Canuck. No bad wine. Well, it was less bad wine.

    Latinyankeerebel, I was astonished when I read that he could exercise the DAY of the surgery. I felt pain shooting up my own hip.

    Jeff, you’re so easy. I knew you’d be a sucker for the “nurse.”

    If the rehab goes well, Kaybee, he should be back soon. I just hope he can play at a reasonably good level.

    The prices American Airlines charges for their “food” is outrageous, Dave. A turkey sandwich for ten bucks?

    I did see A-Rod cousin at the clinic, Chris, and I asked him to leave the premises. I pretended I was an official with MLB.

  4. Erin Kathleen

    Well, you would think A-Rod would be a lot nicer to the only person who even likes him anymore, that ingrate! He was probably still a little groggy from the anesthesia, though. Maybe if you show up in that nurses’ outfit the next time you visit him he’ll be more appreciative of your company.

  5. latinyankeerebel

    I have to agree with Erin, he was probably groggy.. if he wanted to be treated by a nurse that looked like girl… he likes ’em pumped up. LOL
    Tell me about it! American Airlines suxs… but I have to use it bc is cheap. I think one of this days they’ll start charging you for the air, full of germs I might add, that you breathe during the flight.

  6. Jane Heller

    You have a point, Erin. And I was wearing a wrinkled Rivera T-shirt. Maybe he was mad that it didn’t have his name on the back.

    He does like them pumped up, Latinyankeerebel. I’m shaped like a pencil.

  7. raysrenegade

    Do you have one of those Marquis Jet cards?
    It is either that or you have one of the best smiles in the world to get a pilot to land in Colorado. ( I am going with the smile).

    I was impressed to hear that he could already get on a stationary bike, but getting blood flow to that region is key to a recovery, so maybe we should get him a copy of “American Flyer” with Kevin Costner, or that other one set in Indianapolis with a young Dennis Quaid.

    Always the gentle Yankee fan. At least he knows that he will always have you there in his corner.

    Rays Renegade


  8. Jane Heller

    I’m a Yankee fan, Renegade. What can I say? It’s rare when I don’t support a player on my team. I’m certainly not giving up on A-Rod just yet. If only my smile would heal him….Sigh.

    I didn’t check the bag, Tom. But you’re right. Who knows what the airlines put in the stuff they sell us. Maybe there should be steroids testing on all flights.

  9. Jane Heller

    I bet you’ve been enjoying the WBC, Jeremy. I know you were looking forward to it. It’s just fun watching baseball and makes me even more eager for the season to start.

    Thanks, Orangebird. I enjoyed your “interview” with Manny too.

    Are you in class right now, Jen? Bad girl!!!

  10. scofid

    THAT was absolutely hilarious! I am glad that you made it home safely, but how are we going to get the “true” updates from Tampa now that you’re gone? It was so fun seeing spring training through your eyes!


  11. popejonash

    Hey Jane – another awesome blog. I wish the Mets could have used some of that wool and thread on our bullpen last September. Oh well, if it can work for A-Rod, I’m sure organic trail mix can work for Johan.

  12. Jane Heller

    I had so much fun “reporting” from Tampa, Scott. I’m watching tonight’s game on MLB.TV now and wishing I could be there. Oh, well. There will always be material, right? Looks like Joba had a good outing. Phil Coke too.

    Yeah, the Mets could have used help with the bullpen last year, Ash. But this year you’ve got it made. Putz and K-Rod should be able to get it done.

    I had a great time, Melissa. And I survived the flight!

    “That bimbo hussy sl*t.” LOL, Sue. Call it like you see it!

  13. Jane Heller

    I should have made this a dream sequence, Shelley. Then I could have woken up and discovered that A-Rod didn’t need surgery after all!

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