Is There A Full Moon?

Watching Team USA play the Yankees at Steinbrenner Field was enjoyable but weird. It felt as if we had loaned Jeter and his Captain-ness out for an All Star game. 
And what to make of Brett Gardner and his relentlessly hot bat? He has worked his way into my subconscious and is even starting to show up in my dreams.
Then there was the news that A-Rod bolted from the Dominican team after their exhibition game and flew to Vail, Colorado. The reason? No, not a quick ski trip. The problem, apparently, is this.
hip cyst.jpg
I know. The photo looks a lot like a porterhouse, all marbled and fatty, but it’s actually an X-ray of a hip with a cyst. See the cyst right there in the middle? That’s what A-Rod has. So he’s off to consult a doctor named Marc Phillipon.
Yes, you’d be smiling too if you were “one of the world’s leading orthopedic surgeons,” which is how Dr. Phillipon is described on his web site – or, should I say, the web site of the facility where he’s a partner. It’s called the Steadman-Hawkins Clinic. And, no, it’s not named for this man.
The clinic promotes a product line of nutrients and vitamins called “Liquissentials.”
One can only hope that whatever is in them is not banned by Major League Baseball.
Speaking of which, I was settling into my chair tonight to catch the MLB Network’s roundup of the day’s news. Harold Reynolds and the guys were about to discuss the latest in the Dodgers-Manny soap opera when suddenly my TV screen went blank.
And then I heard a man’s voice yell, “Fernando Vina? What the f**k!”
The man was not my husband, either.
Obviously, there was a malfunction in the studio, and somebody F-bombed on national television. Uh-oh. Will there be a fine? A suspension? A public reprimand followed by a tearful apology?
If so, I’ll probably miss it. I’ll be on a plane to Florida, en route to spring training in Tampa and my signing at Barnes & Noble. I don’t like to fly, as anyone who’s read my book already knows, so please send happy thoughts for a flight with no mechanical problems, no flock of geese anywhere near the engines, and no bad plane wine.


  1. Brian Legentil

    Hey, I better get some royalties from you for undoubtedly stealing my public domain Gardner photoshop I found on Google a few posts back!
    Oh, and geez, you’re right that looks exactly like a steak that needs a little fat trimmed off the right side

  2. juliasrants

    Good luck with the flight! Do you find it odd that the Yankees let A-Rod play a game with the Dominican Team after they found the hip problem? Strange. Have fun in Florida! Sorry that A-Rod & Jeter won’t be in camp!


  3. latinyankeerebel

    Have fun! I wish I was going! The weather here in DC sucks majorly right now, it’s too cold.
    Ok, so Jeter & A-Rod are not there, you fave player will be.. Mo… although I think I read somewhere he was going to be traveling with Team Panama (which by the way, after readin about yesterday’s game vs teh Braves, are only going to WBC to meet MLB players… j/k, but I do feel bad.. I think we have agood team, yet I still do not understand why in the World are the letting Bruce Chen pitch!? I hope none of my compatriots say crap about Mo! Clearly we will not need a closer!)..
    Anyway, please have fun and if you do see Mo, tell him I’m a Panamanian that still and will always root for him!

  4. Lissi

    Good luck on the flight! And have fun in Florida! I am actually kind of glad Grady isn’t going to the Classic anymore; I think the tea would miss him, so I see what you mean about Jeter. I bet it’s tough. Oprah is falling out of that dress btw. 🙂


    I just read your blog thanks to Pete Abraham! Great stuff! I live down here in Tampa and am a Phillies and Sox fan but respect the heck out of the Yankees… I get tons of autos and such from the guys and when I read your entry about the person who lost their memorabilia in the fire, I thought, why not help out! Can you get me in touch with the person or their friend who lost their stuff? I have some cards, a Reggie Jackson NYY hat signed and other items that I would love to donate to them to help rebuild Please feel free to contact me at for information. Thanks again and it will be a pleasure to read your blog as I just bookmarked it!



    Well, good luck with the flight. Hope you don’t have many (if any) stops, or (heaven forbid) connections. I went down to Ft. Lauderdale from D.C. last week on AirTran, and going by cattle car might have been better. You change planes in Atlanta, and they ALWAYS make you go from Concourse A (Gate 1) to Concourse X (Gate 98), and, oh yes, we landed late, so you now have 13 minutes to run your buns off…and jump on a people mover…and run some more… and then wait…and wait…to take off again. But that won’t happen to you, I’m sure. If it does, get a BIG wine cooler and put it on my tab! Or maybe Tab Hunter’s tab…?!


    Fun stuff. We should watermark our fun photoshops, but Kaybli always forgets (the Gardner photo at the top of this post originated at:

    Anyway, our url has recently changed to in case anyone wants to see our latest work!

    Jane – I’ve been meaning to check out your new book, but I am currently reading Baseball Prospectus, The Yankee Years, and an advance copy of a new Yankee book by Peter Handrinos coming out in April – I have my hands full right now! Great job with the blog!

  8. Orangebird

    I was listening to bmore Sports radio and they said something like “The best news of the day Derek Jeter beats the Yankees!” You gotta laugh at that and I did.
    Up In Section 360

  9. raysrenegade

    Team USA lost today to Toronto when JJ Putz ( what a name for a closer) went all Ankiel and gave up three hits and 3 runs in 2/3rds of an inning in the bottom of the ninth.

    I was told A Rod had this hip problem in 2008, but why didn’t he take care of it in the off season? Sometimes the modern day athlete surprises me. I used to pride myself on being in top shape with no problem when I reported for the first sessions of the year. Some of today’s guys bring along extra baggage that the team’s training staff has to fix before they can even take a bat in their hands today.

    Hey, I forgot to put what time your signing starts on Friday……..can you get the time to me………..I do not want to be fashionably late since you are going to the Yankee game that night.

    Rays Renegade

  10. letsgoyankees

    I appreciate what you said about me and your comments on the Jeet debate. Thanks a lot for checking it out.
    Thank goodness Manny signed w/the Dodgers. I was thinking that the longer Manny remained out there, the longer Big Stein has time to drool over him and (God forbid) sign him.
    I hate Manny. I have several reasons for this. My thought is this: Manny was hitting nearly 300, on his way to 30+ homers, 100+ RBI’s, and he was ultra clutch as usual, and the Sox STILL traded him! Why? He was aclubhouse cancer. Manny would have played well for six months and then started slacking off. Let him be Joe Torre’s problem.
    Speaking of Jeter, does Gardner remind you of him? Very good defense, not a power guy but (hopefully) an average guy who works hard and hits in the clutch (2 walk-offs in his rookie year! Wow!) Thoughts?

  11. letsgoyankees

    I just thought of something; aren’t Roy Halladay and Matt Holliday both free agents at the end of the season? (May be wrong, but that’s what I thought.) Get rid of Damon, stick Gardner at the leadoff spot, and then to make sure we have a full replacement for Damon’s numbers sign Holliday. To replace Pettite, get Halladay. Single best pitcher I’ve ever seen. The man’s so good it’s insane, if the Yanks got him and Holliday they’d be nearly unbeatable…Thoughts?

  12. flairforthedramatic

    Jeet playing for any other team except the Yankees is definitely a weird thing.
    I hope Gardner keeps hitting like that.. he has a lot of potential, and the Yanks need a guy with his speed in the lineup.
    I’m sad though.. you should’ve packed me in a suitcase and taken me with you!! Lol.
    – V [ ]

  13. Jane Heller

    I will pay you royalties in visits to/comments on your blog, Brian! On the hip/steak, I thought I was the only one who’d see the similarity, so thanks for validating.

    Julia, it turns out that A-Rod has felt hip “stiffness” for awhile, and I do find it strange that they waited to get an MRI and have it checked out. But nothing surprises me at this point.

    Thanks, Pinstripe. I unscrewed a bottle of wine for you on the plane, but it was so bad even I couldn’t drink it.

    If I see Mo, Latinyankeerebel, I’ll probably scream with excitement. Then, after I compose myself, I’ll tell him you say hello.

    I forgot that about Vina, Jeff. Do you think that’s why they were talking about him off camera?

    The flight was bumpy, Sue, but not that bad. Very stormy out of LA and then it settled down. Thank God!

    Sorry about the Oprah part of that shot, Melissa and Claybucholzloveslaptops. I was focusing on Steadman!

    Stephen, I’m very touched by your generous offer of autographs for the wildfire victim. I only wish I knew how to reach him. It was a friend of his who came to my signing last weekend and he never gave me his name or his friend’s name or any contact info. He just asked me to sign the book. If I do hear more, I’ll be sure to let you now. Thanks again. Any chance you’ll be around on Friday at 1 pm? If so, stop by Barnes & Noble Carrollwood and say hi.

    I’ll have fun, Jen. You will too. And 17 days will be here before you know it.

    Dave, I took a nonstop out of LAX, which meant getting up at 5 am and driving in the rain for three hours, but no connections – just the way I like it.

    Searching for gainful employment is what I should be doing, Erin!

    Ross, giant HAT TIP to you and New Stadium Insider. I’ll be sure to check out your blog and give credit where it’s due. As for the books, sounds like you do have your hands full. Maybe when you have a break you’ll sneak a peek at “She-Fan.”

    I did laugh, Orangebird. It was a weird occurrence to see Jeter in another uniform beating his “other” team.

    Kaybee, I just heard about Manny. At least that soap opera is over. It’ll be interesting to see which Manny shows up this year.

    Friday’s signing starts at 1pm, Renegade. See you there and really looking forward to meeting you. (P.S. Bring friends, enemies, strangers, etc.)

    Gardner reminds me more of Damon, Letsgoyankees. I like how he slaps the ball to get on base. Similarly, his arm isn’t that great, but his speed allows him to get a good jump on balls hit to center. As for Halladay, I always covet him for the Yankees, but I can’t see the Jays handing him over to a division rival.

    I guess you were right, Jenn, because I made it to Tampa!

    V, I wish you had come along. Maybe next year we should plan a field trip. Not a bad idea, come to think of it.

    I’m hoping to come to NY/NJ in April, Robb. Will certainly let everyone know if that happens. In the meantime, I’m thrilled that you’re enjoying the book!

  14. Jane Heller

    Oops, Kathy. Your comment snuck in just as I was hitting “Submit.” I hope CC throws a good game too. I guess he’ll only be in for a couple of innings, but it will be fun to see him in a Yankees uniform for the first time.

  15. rockymountainway

    I was thinking that may be one of the “meatiest” xrays I have ever seen. I heard the big man was in the state today and hopefully up to no shenanigans. Visitors for doctor visits can get themselves in trouble when visiting Colorado!

  16. Jane Heller

    Just left a comment on your blog, Tom, about the very same subject. I asked you to stand guard over A-Rod and keep him out of trouble!

  17. jimmy27nyy

    Jane …

    The A-Rod saga continues … Very sad !!!
    The Team USA / Yankees game was fun to watch; much more exciting than a regular spring training game. I cannot believe the game was not sold out at George M. Steinbrenner Field, as there were still about 2,000 seats available at game time !!! … It was good to see Derek Jeter do well in the game, but I hope that is the last time we see Jeter play for another team vs. the Yankees !!!
    Jane, “Best Wishes” for a safe trip to Florida !!!

    Also, “Congratulations” on your #1 ranking [again] on the latest “Leader’s List” !!! … Now it’s time to see your book move up to the top of the “Best Sellers” lists !!!
    Take care, Jane !!!
    — Jimmy [27NYY], “BY&L”

  18. Jane Heller

    I’m waiting for news on the A-Rod situation, Jimmy, and will have to check back later for updates. I can’t believe the stadium wasn’t full either, but someone explained that the game wasn’t on the original schedule so they couldn’t sell tix in advance. Thanks for the good wishes! Back at you, Jimmy!

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