Even When I Try To Focus On Baseball…

….the Yankees won’t let me and I’m frustrated.
I was all set to post today about something benign, even heartening (CC and AJ are becoming great friends! Andrew Brackman sure can throw! Melky nixes the WBC so he can win back the center field job!), but it was not to be. There was too much off-the-field drama.
First, from the Daily News, we learned that A-Rod spent the 2007 season in the company of an “unsavory character” named Angel Presinal. This Dominican trainer extraordinaire, who is said to have worked with such boldfaced names as Pedro Martinez, David Ortiz, Vlad Guerrero and Robbie Cano, traveled everywhere with A-Rod at the same time that I traveled everywhere with A-Rod (well, O.K., so I wasn’t with A-Rod; I was stalking A-Rod), and yet I never noticed the guy? Not once? Not at the pool at the Vinoy in St. Pete? Not in the 18th floor lounge at the Park Hyatt in Toronto? Not at the health and fitness center at the Ritz Carlton in Boston?
I mean, it’s not as if this Angel person could be confused with a potted plant.


Supposedly, Cousin Yuri, the Boli procurer, was also along for the ride.
But I never spotted him, either.
So what’s wrong with me? Don’t I have any powers of observation? Am I a complete loser?
Oh, well. Angel and Yuri are A-Rod’s problem. And he will have a problem if his ’07 drug tests are anything but pristine. Selig can’t suspend him for fraternizing with an undesirable trainer and an equally undesirable relative. (Who doesn’t have one of those, right?) But this whole thing smells, and the scent isn’t this.
I was about to forge ahead with a much more cheerful post about two players I was eager to see in spring training, Xavier Nady and Johnny Damon, but then I read this from NBC Sports.
It wasn’t Bernie Madoff who made off with their millions. It was that other con artist the government is investigating. And now Nady and Damon, poor things, have had their assets frozen and can’t pay their bills. Never in my lifetime did I expect to see my boys in pinstripes taking to the streets.
And then there was this story from Newsday about Felix Lopez III, the son of Yankees Senior VP Felix Lopez Junior (George Steinbrenner’s son-in-law), who pleaded guilty to trafficking in steroids, not to mention the date-rape drug.
Begone, all you scuzzy people! I want to write nice stories about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens…brown paper packages tied up with strings….
I know. I know. I just went too far in the other direction. But you get my drift.


  1. flairforthedramatic

    “I want to write nice stories about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens…brown paper packages tied up with strings….”
    Lol, I don’t know if I’d read that.. 🙂
    This offseason started off slow and boring, but now it seems like it’s been a compilation of a bunch of stories the reporters dug through the Earth for because they were that bored.
    I hope there isn’t more to be discovered about Alex and ‘roids. He can’t use the young & stupid excuse more than once and he’s literally on his last strike. Any more and I think even his most devoted fans will turn on him.
    – V [ http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com ]

  2. Jane Heller

    Never did I think CC Sabathia would fly under the radar, V. It’s like he, AJ and Tex aren’t even there. Such a bizarre start to the season, even for the Yankees.

  3. roshkoch

    It’s more like thumbtacks in roses and staples in kittens … sheesh. Now I understand why Johnny Damon showed up with that horrific haircut to Alex’s press conference. Ewww.

    Well, good thing my next blog is about Swish. He cannot possible be involved in any controversy, right? He’s a squeaky clean kid, right?


    http://roshkoch.mlblogs.com (stay tuned!)

  4. Jane Heller

    Damon had that hair last year, didn’t he, Rosh? Very spiky and gel-soaked? Ewww is right, but he’s cute. So you blogged about Swish? I’ll go check. Please don’t tell me there’s a scandal….

  5. roshkoch

    I’m working on the Swish blog as we speak, but Conan is distracting me. He just went back in time to play baseball in the civil war.

  6. juliasrants

    Jane – even a die-hard Red Sox fan like me is starting to feel sorry for the Yankees who are playing clean. Sadly, it will only get worse as they try to find out how the illegal drugs that A-Rod used were brought into the country – and since they were also illegal in the Dominican Republic lets hope that his cousin was really injecting him with what he thought the stuff was. Oh – Rosh – less coffee. I think the caffeine is effecting you!


  7. raysrenegade

    Looks like cousin Yuri and Angel should lay off the hot pastrami and rye sandwiches for a bit, or maybe look to nutrasystem for a sponsorship now. Hey if Marie Osmond can do it, Yuri and Angel can too.

    I have become A-Rod numb. Everything coming out about pharmacies and Dominican Republic prescriptions, or lack of them has just numbed me like lidocaine. It is time to rejoice that baseball is here, and I will not ruin my spring thinking of needles and banned substances right now.

    I am just glad we do not have to tame the media circus that must be surrounding the Yankees training complex in Tampa this week. The Press Conference the other day was a joke because only a trickle of information came out of the river flowing behind the dam.

    Guess this is good for CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett and Mark Teixeira. It will make the right side of the Yankees infield take the blunt of the blame for things until at least the All-Star break. This will make it more tranquil for the trio for the first half of the season.

    Rays Renegade


  8. Greg

    Seems like Angel is a popular topic yesterday/today. LOL. Man, I should get in the player managing money business. I can go in with the pitch…”at least I won’t get your cash frozen by the federal government!, I’ll get you at least 3% return!” Haha

    Red Sox Ramblings: http://thevendahhh.mlblogs.com

  9. Jane Heller

    Julia, I do think it’s only a matter of time before more things come out. I also think the news won’t be confined to A-Rod and the Yankees. But in the meantime, it’s a bummer.

    Your idea would certainly be a deterrent, Bob. I doubt the union would go for it though.

    LOL, Joe. You’re right. It does!

    Just pray Pujols is clean, Jeff. I mean, PRAY.

    Hey, Tom. Will check out your blog. The Angels always kill the Yankees so we need to figure out a way to beat you guys.

    I agree, Renegade, about being numb to it all at this point. I also agree that the turmoil will take the pressure off CC and the other newbies. I bet they never expected that!

    Yeah, Greg. You should pitch the players on money management. Someone has to look out for all those millions, so why not you?

  10. Jane Heller

    I do that all the time, Erin. I think I post a comment but go brain dead at the crucial moment! Yes, I’m much better, thanks.

    They froze Pelfrey’s assets too, gomets? These financial guys have taken in everybody. I’m putting whatever pennies I have into a cookie jar!

  11. chari@charipere.com

    Hi Jane,

    Here’s to hoping that them Yanks get all the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad stuff outta the way before opening day to pave the road for a FANTASTIC 2009 season. I hope they leave you *plenty* o’ good pickings to blog about (and for us she-fans to comment about!).

    With baseball steroid/baseball players’ financial situation news flooding the front and back sections of my beloved NY papers, I’m thinking of permanently sticking to the one reliable section in the newspapers where no controversy ever hits…the COMICS! (Oh wait a sec, I almost bought Wednesday’s New York Post, the one with the “racist chimp cartoon”…BLAST! Is there no more hope for humanity???)

    Thanks for the post…it seems as though your blog is the only reliable place for a good, therapeutic laugh these days. (And with the economy the way it is, you can’t beat the price! ^_^)


    ~Chari =0)

  12. Jane Heller

    Maybe MLB should hire Rudy as the next commish, Tom. He’s probably available, given his short-lived run for prez.

    You’re right, Chari. The comics are the only safe place to go these days (with the exception you mentioned – boo to that cartoon). I’m glad I’m good for a laugh though and, as you point out, the price is right!

  13. Elizabeth D

    Oh Jane,
    This is all too much!! And maybe you were too focused on A-Rod that everything else just passed you by… maybe they were trying to keep everything a secret. I honestly hope that this doesn’t get any uglier than it already is. Can’t baseball make it go away?

  14. Lissi

    Jane, I am so sorry all of this is happening to you. But then it is the Yankees. They are filed with controversy all the time. Isn’t that what makes them exciting? Sure it is infuriating, but sort of entertaining at the same time right? At least that’s what I seem to understand from various Yankee fans I have heard of. You were probably too busy having a fabulous with Michael to notice the sketchballs hanging out with the Yankees. I finished the book by the way. It was amazing. I am writing a review for it soon. 🙂

  15. scofid

    Where are all the stories about G-rated Mark Teixeira? LOL! What’s Yankees camp without a little drama? I don’t think we’d know what to do with Camp Serene like Boston is accustomed to. Then again, you can’t tell me that Boston has been drug-free. So goes it for life in the Yankee Nation…


  16. Jane Heller

    I have no idea what’s coming next, Elizabeth. I’d love for the Yankees to have a great spring and get off to a good start. My hope is that MLB will do its investigation and ask A-Rod the questions that need to be asked, and we can just play ball.

    LOL, Brian! And no, smooth sailing is never the case for the Yankees. It’s all about drama and it always will be. We should be used to this stuff by now.

    It really is true, Melissa. There’s always “a story” when it comes to the Yankees, ever since I can remember. Remember in the book when George King of the NY Post said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Mickey Mantle walked in tomorrow?” You just never know with this team. So glad you finished the book and enjoyed it! I hope you related to my crazy fandom!

    “Camp Serene.” I can’t even picture that, Scott. It’s just not in the Yankees’ DNA. The only positive is that Tex and the other newbies are flying under the radar and not feeling the pressure they might otherwise feel. Maybe.

    Well, it’s never dull, Sheena. That we know. No yawning for us!

  17. marks8@optonline.net

    “Begone, all you scuzzy people! I want to write nice stories about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…”

    LOL/ an eternal optimist in a S–t storm, don’t forget your helmet Jane.

    Mark/ Baseball Hot Corner

  18. redbirdchatter

    I feel your pain. I can’t even listen to my favorite XM radio station, MLB Homeplate. Every 5 minutes, the steriod/A-Rod thing comes up all over again. I mean, they will almost be on a roll talking about signings and spring training and BOOM, some caller will bring it up again. I’m hungry for some good old fashion on-the-field controversy!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s