Tomorrow we’ll find out which players will enter the Hall of Fame. But tonight? I’m all about the Globes. I’ve seen a lot of the movies that were nominated, so I’m into which ones will win awards. And I’m a She-Fan. How do I not want to see the gowns, the gaffes, and the guys in tuxedoes?
For those who don’t plan to watch the whole show, here’s an abridged version.
8 p.m. J.Lo. (What is that gold dress? A shower curtain?) announces the award for Best Supporting Actress. The winner is…Kate Winslet for “The Reader.” Kate was great in the film, so while I was rooting for Marisa Tomei in “The Wrestler,” I can’t complain.
8:08 p.m. Sting (sporting shoe-polish brown hair and beard) presents the award for Best Song to….Bruce Springsteen for “The Wrestler.” YAY! Love Bruce, who walks on stage and cracks, “This is the only time I’m ever gonna be in competition with Clint Eastwood.”
Time out for dinner. A girl’s gotta eat.
8:38 p.m. The Jonas Brothers (Sorry, but I’m too old to appreciate their appeal) list the nominees for Best Animated Feature Film. The Globe goes to….”Wall-E.” Didn’t see it. No opinion whatsoever.
8:42 p.m. Johnny Depp (Could he be more out of sorts? How about a tiny smile?) announces the award for Best Actress in a Feature Film – Musical or Comedy. It’s Sally Hawkins, who stars in the sweet little indie “Happy Go Lucky.” Didn’t love the story, but thought she was outstanding. Wow. Is she drunk or just nervous? She’s going on and on. Someone get the hook.
8:57 p.m. Demi Moore (alone at the podium without her son husband Ashton Kutcher) presents the award for Best Supporting Actor to… Heath Ledger for “Dark Knight.” Uh-oh. Who’s accepting the award? Director Chris Nolan. Sad. I hope Heath’s watching from heaven.
9:18 p.m. Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen joke about doing cocaine with Mickey Rourke. Nobody laughs. Clueless, they move on to the nominees for Best Screenplay. The winner is…Simon Beaufoy for “Slumdog Millionaire.” Yesss. Maybe this means the film will win Best Picture. It’s definitely my pick.
Time out for dessert.
9:43 p.m. P. Diddy (Do people still call him that?) and Kate Beckinsale have zero chemistry as they present the Globe for Best Original Score to…A.R. Rahman for “Slumdog Millionaire.”
9:54 p.m. Martin Scorsese introduces Cecil B. Demille award winner Steven Spielberg with an entertaining montage of Spielberg’s movies – from “Jaws,” “E.T.” and “Indiana Jones” to “Schindler’s List” and “Saving Private Ryan.” Spielberg gets a Standing O and gives a rousing speech about the mentors who were there for him in his career. Nicely done.
10:12 p.m. Emma Thompson towers over Dustin Hoffman as they announce the nominees for Best Director. The winner is…Danny Boyle for “Slumdog Millionaire.” Yikes. Will “Benjamin Button,” “Frost/Nixon” and “Revolutionary Road” win anything?
10:18 p.m. A stunning Sandra Bullock (Where has she been?) runs through the nominees for Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy. The winner is…Colin Farrell in “In Bruges,” a Belgian film that I didn’t think was comic or musical, but what do I know?
10:28 p.m. Sasha Baron Cohen of “Borat” fame is wickedly funny as he presents the Globe for Best Movie – Musical or Comedy to….”Vicky Christina Barcelona.” Woody Allen’s sister, who looks a little like Woody in drag, accepts the award.
10:36 p.m. Cameron Diaz and Mark Wahlberg announce the winner for Best Actress – Drama. It’s Kate Winslet for “Revolutionary Road.” OMG. Kate is freaking out. Yes, she’s won two statuettes tonight, but she’s so overcome that she has to be helped up to the stage. She thanks her fellow nominees, and forgets Angelina Jolie’s name. They tell her to wrap it up. She says, “I am SO not wrapping it up!” Now she’s crying and telling Leonardo DiCaprio how much she loves him. Enough, Kate. Really.
10:46 p.m. Susan Sarandon gets straight to the point and lists the nominees for Best Actor – Drama. The Globe goes to Mickey Rourke for “The Wrestler.” He trips up the stairs, but pulls it together to make a speech in which he thanks his dogs.
10:56 p.m. Tom Cruise stands in to present the night’s big award for Best Picture to…”Slumdog Millionaire.” I’m clapping. No, it’s not like the Yankees won the World Series, but it’s nice to see a good movie get its due.