The First Wives Club

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Last time, it was Amber Sabathia who was credited with nudging her husband toward the Yankees. This time, it was Leigh Teixeira.
According to Tex at the press conference: “She said, ‘I want you to be a Yankee,’ and it was a done deal.” 
Wives make all the decisions in a marriage, let’s face it. Which leads me to wonder: Why isn’t Laura Pettitte telling her husband to be a Yankee? Is she too busy trying to get her singing career off the ground?
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(You’re no Rhianna, honey. Tell Andy to come home to the Bronx or we’re moving on without both of you.)
Back to the press conference. Wasn’t I pretty much on the money with my “pre-cap,” as Kathy of Redbird Chatter dubbed my last post?
Just as I called it, there was Yankees media relations director Jason Zillo welcoming everybody. I couldn’t help notice his thicker hair. Did he get plugs in the off-season or has he been consulting Guiseppi Franco?
I was wrong about Hal not saying a word. He said six or seven words.
I was wrong about Randy Levine too; I didn’t expect him to be there, let alone look like he’d come straight from a tanning bed.
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I was right about Cashman’s demeanor, the presentation of roses to Leigh Teixeira, Girardi slipping the pinstriped jersey on Tex. I was right that Tex would make worshipful remarks about the Yankees, Don Mattingly, the fans, etc. And I was right about the softball questions the media would lob at him. I was wrong about George King. Where the heck was he?
Tex seemed genuinely excited to be a Yankee. He did. Yes, he’s getting paid a fortune but he would have been paid a fortune no matter where he went.
There’s just one thing: He’s kind of dorky. Take a look.

tex.stadium.jpgI bet he has Barry Manilow on his iPod. I bet he watches the Discovery Channel. I bet he collects stamps. I bet he puts a slice of Velveta on everything. I bet he wears pajamas.

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Still, dorky or not, I like him so far. And I’ll like him even more when he goes 4-for-4 on Opening Day.

16 comments

  1. levelboss

    “You’re no Rhianna, honey.”
    LOL

    the wives definitely have a big influence on players’ decisions.. which in turn affects teams and their seasons

  2. pinstripepride3

    Jane, your predictions were pretty accurate. Do you have any lottery numbers you’d like to share with us? I’m looking forward to seeing how well Teixeira does for the Yankees. He’s a pretty good hitter and fielder for a dork who does everything his wife tells him to do.

  3. Jane Heller

    Levelboss, I don’t remember ever hearing players mention their wives in their decision making as much as this current crop. Things have changed.

    Julia, we should launch an investigation into the matter. Did Tex know he wanted to be a Yankee and string the Red Sox along just for kicks? According to today’s NY Times, that wasn’t the case. He wanted to be a Yankee but didn’t think the Yankees would up their offer.

    I’ve never played the lottery, Kaybee. Maybe I should start!

    I didn’t notice the quick hook for the jersey, Bern. He’s probably used to cashmere and the jersey was polyester.

  4. Jane Heller

    First Erin Andrews. Then A-Rod’s bridal model. Then Mrs. Tex. And let’s not forget your actual girlfriend, Jeff, or does she even exist? I think it’s time for some professional help. 1-800-DRLAURA.

  5. Elizabeth D

    More or less right on the money Jane with your “pre-cap”. Tex seems like a bit of a dork, but it seems like a lot of baseball players are. As long as they do their jobs, I’m alright with it–especially if their antics give me laughs!
    -Elizabeth
    http://redsoxgirl46.mlblogs.com

  6. Jane Heller

    I think Tex will be great, Elizabeth, all dorkiness aside. He seems to go about his business and not stir up drama, and he can play. What’s not to like?

  7. redstatebluestate

    Thanks for the concern, Jane, but Dr. Laura and I went out once and it wasn’t good. Yes, you are right on all those women named here… but you see, with the exception of my actual girlfriend (who surprisingly does exist), all of those wonderful women are on my Fantasy Girlfriend team. It’s fun. I play online through ESPN.com and it’s free. Tomorrow I’m starting Erin Andrews against a tough Swedish bikini team lineup. Wish me luck!
    –Jeff
    http://redstatebluestate.mlblogs.com/

  8. rockymountainway

    Wow Jane I’m really going to have to start calling into question some of the photos you post, ixnay on the tanbedray! That dude looked a little scary. Now I love Santa Barbara. I used to love driving up the PCH and seeing all the pretty girls downtown on the weekend with their ultra fake tans but seeing the devices that makes them tan and a dude no less! And of course Tex’s wife wants to be there but lets see how happy she is when he’s getting blasted by NY media when he’s 2-25 and in a slump! Sorry sweety I thought being a Yankee would be fun..giggle giggle.
    tom
    http://rockymountainway.mlblogs.com

  9. hseely@twcny.rr.com

    She-Fan,

    I don’t buy this “wife decides” thing.

    If wives decided our lineup, Bill Clinton would be our centerfielder.

    el duque

  10. redbirdchatter

    Thanks for the mention. Your pre-cap was nearly spot on! I laughed outloud when he turned out to be a childhood Yankees/Don Mattingly fan rather than an Orioles/Cal Ripkin fan that most people figured him for. He does look a bit dorky–I don’t think ties go with baseball jerseys–but I bet he will look nothing but cool when he’s crushing balls from both sides of the plate and snagging balls in the new stadium!

  11. Jane Heller

    I think Tex and his wife will love NY, Tom. It’ll be a lot more exciting than Anaheim.

    Duque, if wives decided our lineup, Josh Hamilton would be our centerfielder.

    Kathy, I loved when he said he wore his Yankees cap to Orioles games. Very sweet.

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